Ties That Bind
by smartkid37
Summary: When a member of the team's world crashes down around him he becomes disconnected, Can the team help him reconnect in time to save Christmas for him? Written for the 2010 NFA Secret Santa Story Exchange
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This story was written for the Secret Santa Story Exchange on NFA Community back in December of 2010._

It is complete and will be posted a chapter a day.

Takes place in Season 4

* * *

_9 AM Wednesday – Dec. 13, 2006_

_"Agent Gibbs?"_ the female voice asked across the phone line as NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs picked up his ringing desk phone. Scowling at the disruption, the Team Leader's grip tightened around the receiver before he spoke into it.

"Speaking." Gibbs' normal barked response to the ringing object had incited a moment of silence before the hesitant question was put to him.

_"This is Megan McGee. I'm sorry to disturb you, but I'm really worried about Tim. I've been calling him for the past two weeks and he hasn't answered my calls or returned them. It's so cold outside now and I'm worried. Is he missing? Is he hurt? Is he…"_ Her voice broke at the obvious thought behind the question that she couldn't bring herself to finish.

Gibbs' eyes instantly flew across the room to lock onto his youngest field agent, Tim McGee's steadily working form. The young man had been increasingly quiet all week; for the last two weeks really. Actually, now that the Boss thought about it, he'd been withdrawn ever since he had that one day off from work a little more than two months ago. He'd barely said two words that weren't case related and no one had gotten him to talk about whatever was bothering him. Monday and Tuesday of this week had seemed to be even worse days for the young man and Tim seemed to be headed into some kind of downward spiral.

The Team Leader had noticed how Tim hadn't been eating and was and looking more and more every day like he wasn't sleeping well, either. It had Gibbs more than a little worried, but there wasn't anything that he could do without Tim being willing to open up to him. The young man's performance at work had not suffered or shown any signs of wavering under whatever stress he was under personally. _But this? To let his family become worried about him like this just didn't' sound like the Tim McGee that his NCIS family knew._"Everything's fine." Gibbs answered her cryptically. He wanted to ease her mind without bringing attention about who it was he was talking to and why. The last thing any of his agents needed was the whole team being privy to something that was obviously a private matter, unless it absolutely couldn't' be helped.

_"His sister says he's never home and won't answer or return her calls either. She's hesitant to speak to you for me. I think she's still petrified of you from when you cleared her of that murder charge." _Mrs. McGee continued on, as if she felt the need to fully explain why she'd bothered to come to him for answers about her son. "_He's there at work, isn't he?" _She suddenly asked with a note of understanding in her voice.

"Yes. And like I said, everything's fine. If you'd like I'll get to the bottom of it." Gibbs politely offered while his eyes wandered to his team members briefly.

Around the room, things were seemingly running smoothly with every agent on Gibbs' team quietly doing their job. To the naked eye, it appeared that every one of them were the epitome of concentration as they stayed on the task before them. If anyone had asked what the definition of complete focus on a case was, the person answering that question would say that this team, at that very moment, was that definition… but they would be wrong.

Tim was in his tunnel vision mode, with only his computer and the quest for knowledge for the current case to keep him company. He was apparently hearing nothing outside his own brainwaves crackling under pressure. Tim would fit that definition, as an individual, but only if you didn't look closely at his expressive eyes.

Tony heard what the Boss was saying and what he wasn't. The look he saw Gibbs send over to Probie didn't go un-noticed, and Tony's senses immediately switched into their 'hyper-aware' mode. He followed suit with Gibbs and glanced across to look Tim over. The fact that his partner's shoulders were slumped as he hunched over computer gave him reason to believe that he hadn't been reading into things too much; especially given Tim's behavior over the past two weeks. Now? Well now he knew that his Probie was bothered by something and the gut feeling he'd felt recently seemed to twist painfully.

Ziva remained seemingly unfailingly focused on her work, but if the observant person would look closely, they'd see that she too was now equally focused on what she was hearing and correlating it to what she knew as well as the concerns that Abby had voiced. If they looked closely into her eyes, they'd see the glimmer of concern and the gleam of intent to find out what was going on with her teammate and friend.

_"Thank you, Agent Gibbs, but I know from what Tim's told us, that your team doesn't have time for personal issues. I can relax now that I know he's safe and obviously just choosing not to talk to me. I guess I can't say I'm surprised I haven't heard from him since the last time I spoke with him two Saturdays ago. His team was working on a case that weekend but I needed him to come home for something important_.

_I got him to come home, reluctantly, but he drove right back that same night. He was so upset about having to come home after working all day and with having to go to work that Sunday, on top of it. Add to that, what happened when he got home and I should count myself lucky if he ever talks to me again, I suppose. It is upsetting that he won't talk to his sister, though._

_I was hoping with Christmas and New Year's coming up, that we'd finally get to see him for the holidays, but that's not likely to happen now. He's always been so forgiving, until now. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be bothering you with this. Thank you for easing a mother's heart about her son, Agent Gibbs. I know I can count on you to watch out for him and take care of him for me." _Mrs. McGee ended the call, leaving Gibbs more than slightly upset with his agent for worrying his mother so, even as her incidental revelations rang through his head

But, she'd been right about one thing, this was a personal issue and Gibbs had no say in it. Still, it rankled him and worried him that his normally 'polite to a fault' team member would be so thoughtless and insensitive as to worry his own mother and sister like this. _And what about the guy's father? Didn't he deserve to know his son was okay?_

Looking over at him now, the boss could see that Tim was actually wearing the look of someone who had been trying like hell to get through each day on as normal a keel as possible. It was in his eyes. The sliver of hurt, the glint of anger, and even the worsening signs of sleep deprivation. But, working steadily and with his normal intensity, as Tim was, he couldn't be faulted and shouldn't be disturbed for this. There was little the boss could do but sit back and watch for any further signs of problems. He wasn't even sure he had the right to berate the young man for not letting his family know he was okay for the last two weeks. Maybe he'd get Ducky's opinion on that one.

With that thought in mind, Gibbs picked up his coffee cup and headed out, presumably to get coffee. Pulling out his phone, he took himself into the elevator and hit the button for Autopsy as he hit the button to make his call.

* * *

Ducky was already alone when Gibbs arrived, having sent Jimmy on an extended break since Gibbs had let it be known ahead of time with his phone call, that he needed to talk. One look at the Senior Agent's face and the M.E. knew his friend was indeed troubled about something.

"Something happen to one of your agents, Jethro?"

"Not sure, Duck." Gibbs answered as he took a seat in the chair beside Ducky's desk and relayed the conversation he'd just had with Mrs. McGee to the M.E.

"Ah, and you're here to ask me if you should pry, I take it?"

"Duck, this is McGee, we're talkin' about. You know as well as I do that this isn't like him."

"With all due respect, Jethro, none of us really know what his true relationship with his family really is. The boy has always been remarkably tightlipped about it."

"I know Duck, but he's got more manners in one muscle than the rest of us have in our whole body, you excluded. Kinda tells me that if he learned that growing up, that he…?"

"Would first apply it to his interactions with his own family? Yes, Jethro. I do see where that would be the normal assumption." Ducky agreed.

"But?"

"Well, as you said. This is Timothy that we're talking about. But, unlike you, Jethro, I see where his consistent lack of talking about his private life has left copious amounts of room for unspoken problems and stresses to be residing beneath the surface. And as the bountiful supply of less than pleasant situations that he's managed to get himself into during his tenure here have shown, he keeps everything locked up inside quite well."

"While I can see that your mind is set on getting him to let you in on whatever is bothering him; I must warn you that it may very well be a task best left up to those who have previously taken the time to actually show him that they are his friends and not just an agent on the payroll."

"And who would that be?"

There's Abby for starters. I'd venture that even Ziva might fall into that category; although I can't be sure how Timothy feels about speaking to her about things like this. To be honest, Jethro, I would hesitate to ask her outright. I do believe even Anthony has taken that road with Timothy on occasion, specifically after the poor lad shot that undercover police officer."

"Ducky, that was over a year ago."

"Yes and therein lays the problem, Jethro."

"Ducky, just say it, will ya?"

"Jethro, if one hasn't taken the time to attempt to get to know that young man beneath the surface, then one cannot rightfully expect him to let them into his inner sanctum simply because they finally realize there's something wrong in his life." Ducky explained with a touch of frustration mixed with anger. He never could fathom how this team remained so tight-knit when they spent so little time getting to know each other as people.

"I just wanted your opinion on whether or not I should say anything to him about worrying his family like this, Duck."

"Absolutely not, Jethro. Although, I believe you already know that. If you came down here looking for me to condone you intruding into his private life in such a fashion, I'm afraid you've simply set yourself up to be disappointed."

"Didn't exactly ask to be put in the middle of this, Duck. His mother called me."

"Yes, Jethro, and you've set her mind at rest, and even she knows where to draw the line when it comes to attempting to force Timothy to talk about something or do something he isn't voluntarily doing himself."

"I hear ya. Thanks, Duck."

"You're welcome, Jethro. Although, I must say, I do not like that look in your eyes, as I'm certain it means you are far from letting this matter be dropped."

"He's one of my people, Ducky. Not gonna let him get buried under whatever this is. He's already been losin' sleep over it."

"Why didn't you say so to begin with?"

"Needed to tell you about what his mother had to say, first."

"Yes, well, do keep an eye on him, Jethro."

"Plannin' on it, Duck. Thanks." Gibbs replied as he headed out, this time, with genuine intent to get a fresh coffee.

While he walked to the coffee shop, his mind raced. Ducky was right, his team hardly ever took the time to try to get to know each other on a personal level. Well, no, that wasn't necessarily true. Ziva and Tony were constantly trying to figure each other out and were never quiet about it.

No, the mystery was McGee. While Tony and Ziva made efforts to find out things about him, Tony methods usually involved pushing the envelope on intrusive and mocking when he made the attempts and so Gibbs was never surprised when McGee didn't open that door and let the Senior Field Agent in. With Ziva, Tim seemed a little more receptive, almost as though he thought he'd be insulting her friendship if he didn't let her in to those little pieces of himself when she asked. Still, no one really knew who Tim was on the inside, with the exceptions of the qualities of himself that came through with his job performance.

Gibbs recalled being relieved when McGee and Abby broke up seemingly just as soon as he'd pulled the young man from Norfolk onto his team. _Abby_. If anyone knew Tim on a personal level and would be able to find out what was going on; it would be Abby, of that Gibbs was sure. If anything really bad was going on, she'd tell Gibbs. _Wouldn't she? Would she?_ Pulling out his cell phone, he called his Lab Rat.

_"Hey, Gibbs, I don't have anything for you right now. My babies are cold and lonely from lack of evidence. Your timing is off unless you're calling with something for me to test."_

"Abbs, if you're not running anything right now, come over to the coffee shop. Need to talk to ya."

_"Am I in some kind of trouble?"_

"No, no trouble."

_"Okay, I'll be there in fifteen."_

"Make it ten."

_"Yes, My Silver haired fox."_

"Abby!" Gibbs warned.

_"Okay, Sorry. I'll be right there."_

* * *

"Gibbs?" Abby asked in concern as she walked up to him ten minutes later. Bundled up against the cold, she resembled a black bear on two legs

Gibbs had to smile at the thought as it crossed his mind."Here." The he said in return as he handed her one tray of coffees while he took a second one off the counter and led the way out the café.

"What's this about?" the Lab Rat persisted.

"How close are you with McGee?" Gibbs asked as they slowly walked back to the office building; the bitter wind whipping at his uncovered head without mercy. It was bad enough the temperature, once it had decided to act normal for this time of year, had done so unforgivingly and now hovered near 35 degrees.

"What? We're not breaking your rule #12, if that's what you're asking. Wait! Why are you asking?"

"Not what I meant, Abbs. Does he tell you everything that's going on with him?" Gibbs asked seriously.

"No, and I wish he did. I mean I wish he would. I can see something's going on with him, has been for the last two weeks. But, he won't talk to me. Every time I ask him what's bothering him, he just gives me that tiny smile of his that means he's not gonna talk about it, but he appreciates the concern."

"Whatta ya mean, you know something's going on with him?"

"Gibbs, he's been extra quiet lately, almost like he's trying not to be on anyone's radar. Haven't you seen it?"

"Well, yeah, Abby, I have. I just wanted to know what other things you've noticed that clued you in."

"Meaning, you wanna make sure you don't miss the signs next time?" Abby grinned.

"Not laughin' here, Abbs."

"Right. Okay. He won't come see me unless you send him, which means he's avoiding me because he knows I'll push him to talk about it and he doesn't want that. For the last two weeks, he's refused every offer to go out with the team after work and although, that in itself isn't anything unusual, the fact that he's not even bothered to come up with an excuse any time, is. Every time he's refused, he's had this really sad, beaten down look in his eye, like whatever's going on with him is getting too heavy for him to carry. But, when I ask him to talk to me, he just gives me that smile and a small shake of his head; won't even answer the question of why he won't let me in."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah. Tony and Ziva have been watching him like a hawk for the same reasons and they only do that when they're worried about him. Plus, I've tried to pop in on him after work and he's never, ever there. He's not returning phone calls or emails and even his sister has called me because he won't return her calls either. In fact, he's not returning anyone's calls or texts. I'm tellin' you, Gibbs, there's something going on with him!"

"Okay. Thanks, Abbs."

"What are you gonna do? Wait! You're not gonna try to push him to talk, are you? Gibbs, he won't talk to you about it. If he won't talk to me, his best friend, it's pretty much a given, that he's not gonna talk to you." Abby warned.

"Abby. I'm not gonna push him to talk. Not my style." He reminded her.

"Oh, Right." The Goth replied as they neared their building.

As they entered the building, Abby parted company from Gibbs to head down to Autopsy with the tray of drinks she'd carried back that held Ducky's and Palmer's drinks as well as her own. Gibbs entered the squad room and was instantly made aware of just how bad things were by the intense silence that still permeated the air.

In the time he'd been gone, nothing seemed to have changed. Everyone was still just as occupied and focused as they had been when he left. He'd noticed their little nuances that let him know they were focusing on more than just their work. But, given the effort they were putting into getting though the case, he wasn't gonna mess with what was working. Silently, he went about the room, setting each agent's drink down on their desk and then returning to his own desk and getting back to working the case at hand.

Each agent had their own little moment of reaction to the rare and completely unexpected gift of a drink placed on their desk by non-other than their usually not so openly giving boss. Tony's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and a grin lit up his face, even if he refused to look Gibbs' way. He knew that if he did that, it would ruin the moment and garner him a patented "Gibbs" glare. Refusing to look a gift horse in the mouth, particularly this gift horse, Tony settled for taking a long moment to savor his fresh coffee, fixed just the way he liked it. Ziva smiled a genuine smile of appreciation, glanced over at Gibbs while she still wore her refreshing smile and mentally willed him to look her way and see her appreciation. As if in synch with her thoughts, Gibbs did look over at her and silently nodded his acceptance of her show of appreciation. Both of them returned their attention to their work.

Across the room, as the cup was placed on his desk, Tim's brain stopped in mid stride as if someone had slammed the 'on' button into the 'off' position without warning. Even his breathing missed a step and as he struggled to regain control of that, he looked at the cup and the giver of it; who was by now, sitting down behind his own desk, and felt a wave of appreciation rise up. Not willing to make a public show of it, he seemed to get right back to work after that momentary stop. Truthfully, he hadn't gone back to work at all, but had merely opened his email program and sent a new email out, before sipping at his refreshing drink for a minute, setting it down, and taking advantage of the slow point he'd been brought to, and taking himself to the head.

Gibbs watched Tim as he reacted, silently and seemingly not at all, unless you'd been watching for it like he had been. When his email pinged to announce a new email, somehow, he knew it was from McGee before he even looked to see. Sure enough, when he opened it, he found he was right.

_"Thanks, Boss"_

Although it was short and to the point, the fact that Tim had sent him an email, something the young man knew Gibbs hated and usually didn't check with any degree of regularity, seemed a little off to Gibbs. Oh, well, that was something to worry about later. Right now, they were working on the case without disruption and he'd take that whenever he could get it.

* * *

It was seven that night, before Gibbs considered that they'd put in enough work and needed the break and the chance to recharge their batteries and rest their brains. "Go home" he offered without warning.

As his words managed to penetrate the overworked brains of his agents, the reactions while different in detail, were similar in speed; that of delayed reaction; a true testament of how focused they'd been. Tony, as usual, was the first to process the words and begin to act on them, even as Ziva soon reached that same moment of understanding and also began shutting down her work for the night. Tim, on the other hand, barely registered that he'd heard, but his slowing speed on the keyboard along with the blinking of his eyes were the signals that he had in fact heard and processed the call. Satisfied that his team was gonna get the chance to get a good night's rest, Gibbs left them to the chore of packing it in for the night, and headed out for a refill of coffee and the chance to stretch his legs.

When he returned to the squad room, he was surprised to find McGee still here. He almost overlooked the young man when he'd sat back down at his desk and in fact; probably wouldn't have noticed that he was even still here if it hadn't been for Ducky's quiet arrival just then, who, when quietly asked what was wrong, had silently nodded his head in the direction of the window by the stairs. When Gibbs looked over there, he found Tim McGee, leaning against the wall, his head resting against the wall where it met the window pane.

"I got this, Duck. Go home. Get some sleep." Gibbs quietly bid his friend.

"Have a good night, Jethro and please, do not frighten the poor boy off. It's obvious he already has more than enough on his mind." His friend warned.

"I got it, Duck. Go on." The Senior Agent vowed.

"Very well. See you tomorrow, then." Ducky offered as he took himself to the elevator, for once, not saying anything to Tim, so he didn't disturb him. He seemed to need whatever headspace he'd escaped to.

Once Ducky had gone, Gibbs walked the long way back around the stairs, to come up on the other side of Tim without disturbing him, so he could get a better idea of what was going on. Knowing the young man's eyes usually told more than his voice did, the boss wanted to see what he could before disturbing him. What he saw, when he looked into those eyes, was misery. That was the sum of it all. Whatever this was, had set him down in misery, deep enough that he'd allowed himself to get lost in its' depths when he thought himself alone.

"McGee." Gibbs attempted to penetrate the fog that appeared to have swallowed Tim's mind. As his agent remained lost in where ever it was he'd gone to, Gibbs tried again, a little louder this time. "McGee!"

That time it worked and Tim twitched as he was startled out of his thoughts and back to the here and now of where he was. As he looked toward the voice that had disturbed him, embarrassment filled his eyes, even as he quickly away in hopes the boss wouldn't have noticed anything of what he was thinking or feeling.

"Sorry, Boss. I'll be going now." Tim offered quietly as he turned to go grab his backpack out of his chair and head out.

He'd taken all of two steps when a gentle but firm hand on his shoulder froze his feet mid-stride. "McGee. Stop." Gibbs requested without bite.

Tim did as he was asked and stopped moving, although he couldn't bring himself to look anywhere but down at his own feet, his sense of embarrassment so strong.

"Look at me, Tim." The boss requested, hoping the use of the young man's first name and in a less than life-threatening situation would help him relax.

Again, Tim did what was asked of him, even though it took him a good minute to find the nerve to drag his eyes up off the floor and force them on up to meet those of his boss.

"What's going on?" the gentle question was almost more than Tim could handle. That much was evident as the plethora of emotions filtered through the young man's eyes, all in the space of less than a minute.

The fight his agent had just waged, however brief it had been, to look him in the eye, had been just as telling, as the less than settled look in his eyes now. When the silence between them lengthened with Tim's inability to speak of what was on his mind, Gibbs knew he couldn't expect an answer but also knew he needed to do something to give this kid, not only some breathing room, but also an anchor to grab onto, should he choose to do so.

"McGee. I've always said my door's always open. That means for you, too. You know where to find me if you decide you wanna talk." Gibbs squeezed the young man's shoulder in a show of support and then left him alone, knowing it was the best thing he could do for him at the moment.

As he closed down his work station and headed to the elevator, he kept his peripheral vision locked on Tim, noticing he had remained frozen in place, almost like the poor kid was afraid he'd discover that the moment of compassion from his boss wouldn't really have happened if he woke up and moved. Clearly, the boss needed to bolster his show of support. Walking back over to him, the older man gently threw his still struggling agent another anchor.

"McGee, I'd like to help, if you'll let me. My phone works just as well as my front door does." With another gentle squeeze to the shoulder, Gibbs left him, this time heading out of the squad room completely.

When the ding of the elevator registered on Tim's brain; his feet somehow took that as their cue to move, taking him, seemingly on autopilot, to his desk, where his hands, also of their own accord, reached out and grabbed his backpack, and his feet, once again, marched to their own beat, taking him to the elevator and down toward the way home. As his feet moved, his brain seemed to once again, take up filtering the thoughts that had gotten lost behind the cloud of numbness he'd felt saturate him earlier.

_Home…_it used to be that that word meant comfort and security, love without judgment or conditions, support unending, and grounding physical shows of affection whenever they became an anchor to hold onto through life's storms. Now, Tim couldn't even think of that word without it bringing up enough bile in his throat that even the mere thought of it made him sick to his stomach.

_How was it that people who raised their children with such moral codes as honesty and integrity, chivalry and knights rescuing damsels in distress, even in the modern world, could be so innately dishonest to those very children they'd instilled those beliefs and traits in? Who the hell had ever heard of such a contradiction? It was preposterous! It was crazy! It was painful! It was wrong! And it hurt like hell!_

As he got in his car, and started it up, his hands froze in their motions before he even got the car in drive. _Why had his boss taken such a compassionate road with him just now? What was going on? Even more importantly, why hadn't Tim taken him up on his offer to let him in? Well, it's not like he's ever offered before. Hell, we've never said two words to each other that weren't about someone else or work. But, damn it, I sure wish I could talk to him. No! He wouldn't understand! He'd just tell you to get over it! That's the Marine in him! You'll only feel worse after he gets done with tryin' to toughen you up over this! He's not the right one to let in!_

But, Tim didn't feel comfortable talking to any of the others either. Their own family dynamics being what they were didn't leave room for them to understand where he was coming from either. Feeling more alone now than when he'd first found out, he turned his car off, laid his arms across his steering wheel, rested his head on his arms, and let the tears flow.


	2. Chapter 2

Gibbs was seriously worried now. From where he sat, behind the wheel of his own car, he could see his agent struggle with his thoughts, even after he'd started up his car. While that had raised a red flag with the older man, it was Tim turning off his car and giving in to his emotions, as the clearly shaking shoulders along with the head down on his arms, gave testament to; that really had the boss concerned.

Torn between wanting to respect Tim's right to deal with this alone, since it was obviously his agent's choice; and the young man's safety behind the wheel of his car, Gibbs automatically followed the path that ensured his agent's safety and disregarded how that would leave Tim feeling and stayed put until he saw how Tim was gonna get home. While he waited Tim out, wanting to let the young man get it all out and appear to be ready to go home, before approaching him, Gibbs sent up a silent prayer that he could get him to open up to him.

A short five minutes later and Tim seemed to be done allowing himself to let his emotions run free of his control. Gibbs quickly got out of his car but slowed his pace as he approached Tim's car, deliberately doing so from the front so the young man wouldn't be startled into accidentally running over him.

Tim's reaction to seeing his boss coming toward him so soon after his meltdown was obvious; embarrassment once again filled his still wet eyes and he was very quick to wipe his face and let his window down. He wasn't quick, however, with having anything to say, obviously needing to let Gibbs take the lead on this now uncomfortable situation.

"McGee. You're in no shape to drive. C'mon, I'll drive you home."

"I'm okay, I'll be fine."

"McGee, don't force me to make it an order, all right?" the boss asked with a touch of unwillingness to take it there himself.

Tim looked away from his boss, again needing a thoughtful minute to think things through. Finally, Tim nodded in agreement and put his window back up, pulled the key from the ignition and got out, grabbing his backpack and locking up his car before walking to the boss' car, more than a couple of steps behind the man.

The ride home was a silent one, with neither man breaking into that quiet. While Tim's silence came from being uncomfortable; Gibbs' came from feeling like an interloper trying to storm the fortress gates to infiltrate the secrets below the surface. Even though the silence wasn't exactly preferred, it did seem to help settle both men's nerves and even became a little less uncomfortable in the short ride to Gibbs' house.  
_Wait, why were they at Gibbs' house? Had this been a trap? Why would the boss do this? What did he really want?_

"Relax, I just wanna make sure you eat and sleep tonight. You can crash in my spare bedroom. And no, I didn't lie. I was gonna drive you to your place, but you need someone to make sure you're taking care of yourself right now, or Ducky'll have my head by this time tomorrow." Gibbs said quietly in answer to the questions he knew were racing through Tim's mind at the moment.

When Tim made no move to get out of the car or even acknowledge Gibbs' words that were meant to reassure him, the older man's worry and frustration grew but he forcibly set them aside to tackle the more important task of getting Tim to let him help at least this much.

"McGee, c'mon, let's rustle up somethin' to eat, then you can hit the hay."

Tim's breath hitched in his chest, but he forcibly got it back on track and rapidly blinked his eyes, trying desperately to drive back the tears that Gibbs' sudden showing that he gave a damn about him off the job as well as on, had released. The last thing Tim needed was for Gibbs to see just how vulnerable he really was right now, and keep chipping away at it; because right about now, it wouldn't take much for his wall to crumble and _dear God, that was the last thing he needed! _Nodding in silent agreement, Tim finally unbuckled his seatbelt and picked up his backpack in preparation for exiting the car, but waiting for Gibbs to do it first.

As the boss led the way up the walk to the house, a sense of relief flowed through the older man that at least this hurdle had been crossed without too much of Tim's innate stubbornness getting in the way. Truth be told, it was quite unsettling to see Tim less than cooperative as well as visibly upset like he was now, not to mention like he'd been back in the garage. _The garage. Right. He'd have to have a chat with Abby and get her to get a look at the security footage to make sure Tim's breakdown didn't become food for the machine called scuttlebutt that ran around loosely in the agency. He'd do that as soon as Tim settled in for the night._

Once inside the house, Gibbs gestured toward his living room and suggested Tim get comfortable while the boss rustled up some dinner. Fifteen minutes later found Gibbs returning to the living room to let Tim know dinner would be done in fifteen minutes, only to find the young man already out for the count. Feeling an unexpected rush of parental concern and protection rise up, Gibbs took himself to the front and back porch doors alike, locking them both before taking out his cell phone and making two calls.

"Ducky, I brought McGee home with me so I could feed him and make sure he got a good night's sleep, but he's already out. Will he be all right if he sleeps through without eating?"

_"Jethro, if he hasn't shown any signs of starving himself, one night without dinner won't hurt him. However, I would like to come by and check on him, since you've managed to corral the young man."_ Ducky answered.

"Call me when you get here and I'll let you in."

_"You've locked your doors? Jethro, is there something wrong that you haven't told me?"_

"Nope; just felt like making sure the kid feels safe."

"_If he's asleep, why would you feel the need to do something you haven't done in years, Jethro?"_

"Can't explain it, Duck. I just did."

_"Very well, I'll be there shortly. And thank you for letting me know."_

"No problem. See you when you get here."

Ending the call with Ducky, Gibbs then called Abby.

_"Hey, Gibbs, is everything all right? I mean, you don't usually call me after work unless something's wrong. Oh, No! Is it Timmy? Something's happened to him, hasn't it?"_

"Abby, don't make me yell. If you make me to wake McGee up, I'll head slap you right through this phone." Gibbs warned.

_"McGee's asleep and you're with him? Gibbs! What's going on?"_

"If you'd give me a minute?"

_"Right. Sorry."_

"I need you to go to work and go through the security footage from the employee's garage from about hour ago and edit it out. You'll know what I mean when you see it. If you want, get Tony to drive you in, but this need to know, and he doesn't. You got me?"

_'Something happened to Tim after work, Gibbs?"_

"Just go edit the tape, Abby." Gibbs requested with a touch of authority. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you that what you see didn't happen."

_"Right. Okay, I'll go take care of it. Promise me you'll take care of Timmy, Gibbs!"_

"He's asleep on my couch. How much more of a promise do you need, Abby?"

_"Good point. Thanks, Gibbs."_

"You can thank me by getting in there and fixing that tape."

_"I'm on it, I promise."_

"Good. See you tomorrow, Abbs."

* * *

_"DiNozzo."_

"Tony, are you busy?" Abby's plaintive voice reached through the phone line and smacked Tony in the forehead.

_"No, not really, Abbs. I was just chillin with a Magnum marathon. It helps me unwind. Why, what's up?"_

"Gibbs asked me to go do something back at work. Will you come get me and drive me in, please?"

_"Why isn't Gibbs driving you?"_

"He's got Tim."

_"What? Wait a minute! Did you just say Gibbs has McGee? What the hell does that mean, Abby?"_"

"Tony, I'll explain on the way, if you'll just come get me. I promise what I need to do shouldn't take more than 30 minutes. And then you can have the rest of your night back."

_"Yeah, All right, I'll be right there."_

"Thanks, Tony. You're the best big brother a girl could ever ask for."

_"Yeah? Thanks, Abbs. I'll be there in a few."_

_

* * *

_

"Jethro, how is he?" Ducky asked as he stepped into the younger man's house a short twenty minutes after getting off the phone with him.

"Still sleeping." Gibbs nodded in the direction of his living room before heading into the kitchen to start brewing his friend a cup of his favored hot tea and a coffee for himself.

Waiting for both brews to get done, he took himself back to the living room and stopped in the doorway, silently leaning against it as he watched the M.E. check out the sleeping young man's vitals and overall general health. It seemed strange to see how deeply and peacefully Tim was sleeping when he took into account how run down he'd begun to look here lately. That made the point that whatever was causing the sleep deprived look in the young man, nightmares or even bad dreams apparently weren't the underlying cause.

While Gibbs was glad of that on one hand; he realized, on the other, that it only made getting to the bottom of whatever was going on, harder. Getting him to talk about any bad dream certainly would have been a hell of a lot easier than dragging anything out from him that he wasn't ready to share.

Ducky put away his instruments and covered the young man with the light bed spread that Gibbs had set at the foot of the couch earlier, as it had gotten slightly cooler and Tim was looking decidedly too thin as it was, now that they got a good look at him. Joining Gibbs at the doorway, the M.E. remained silent until both men and traipsed into the kitchen and fixed their drinks, and taken a seat at the table.

"He seems to be fine, Jethro. It is for certain, though, that he most definately needed this chance to sleep well."

"Okay. You stayin for a late dinner, Duck?"

"No thank you, Jethro. I have already eaten my dinner and I have a previous engagement."

Gibbs' eyebrows rose in silent questioned surprise.

Ducky chuckled, finished his drink and then took his leave.

* * *

As Tony drove Abby to NCIS, the Lab Rat filled him in, telling him vaguely of Gibbs' concern and more detailed information of her own concerns about McGee. Her mission tonight, was the last thing she shared with him and only after she swore him to secrecy. Since she didn't know exactly what she'd find on the tape, she wasn't willing to break her word to Gibbs about keeping it from Tony, but the Senior Field Agent understood. After all, a person's privacy needed to be respected and nobody was better at that than the boss and Tony wasn't about to cross that line against the man.

While he waited for Abby to complete her mission, Tony sat at his desk and thought things through. Everything he'd noticed and everything Abby'd told him seemed to form a much bigger picture than the one he thought he'd put together earlier that day. Even with that bigger picture, it still sent the same message. His Probie was troubled, deeply troubled, and needed someone to throw him a lifeline. The trouble with that was that Gibbs was obviously already trying to do that. Tony realized how bad that sounded but it was the truth, Having Gibbs try to reach out to the one person on the team he'd never tried to reach out to before, wasn't gonna work, at least, not well, anyway.

Then again, Tony had to stop and realize that he hadn't been a very good big brother in that department as far as being there for the younger man went, himself. Tony knew why Gibbs had never done it, after all Gibbs felt protective of those who needed it, and Tim was the one team member who already had a complete family of his own, and so didn't need the extra looking after that the others seemed to need.

Unfortunately, since no one ever really talked about Gibbs' motivations, Tim never realized why exactly it was things worked the way they did, only that it left him feeling like the only step-child in this entire extended family. Tony and Tim had never talked about it, but being a former street detective in addition to being a Field Agent for as long as Tony had been, had honed his powers of observation as well as his investigative skills. More than seven years of learning how to speak 'Gibbs speak' had honed his ability to read people, as well. The bottom line was Tony read Tim pretty well, even if they never talked about anything he'd noticed and kept in his mental filing cabinet of a brain. It was time, Tony realized, to unlock that file on Probie and use it to throw Tim that lifeline Tony knew his kid brother needed.

True to her word, Abby was done and ready to leave not even thirty minutes later and as they headed out, Tony couldn't help but ask. "What was it, Abby? Whatever it was, it's got you pretty upset."

"I can't, Tony. Gibbs made me promise to respect Tim's privacy."

"Yeah. I get it. Okay. How bout we go for some ice cream and see if we can't get your mind off Probie for a while?"

"Tony! Just because I can't tell you doesn't mean you shouldn't care about him!"

"Abby. I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that. I'm worried about him, too. But for tonight? He's safe and sound under the boss' roof and apparently already out like a light. What better place for him to be than Gibbs' house?" he replied.

"Oh, no!" Abby declared in mock horror.

"Yeah, there is that." Tony joked, knowing Abby had just realized what he'd already figured out. Gibbs trying to get Tim to open up just wasn't a great idea.

"Tony!"

"Abby, relax. Gibbs won't push him. He never pushes us to talk if we don't want to. But, he will make sure he eats and sleeps. We both know that. So, relax and enjoy the rest of your night. Let your big brother treat you to an ice cream, will ya? It's not every day you take a vacation away from us. This is the last chance for us to spend time together before you leave tomorrow."

"I know, Tony. I'm gonna miss you guys, too. But, I have go visit my family now so I can be back here to spend Christmas Day with my other family – you guys! C'mon, I want some of that ice cream!"


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews and the continued interest in this story._

**

* * *

**

_Thursday – Dec 14th_

The next morning found Tim feeling almost completely rested if not a little stiff and sore from Gibbs' couch. He'd spent the first few moments of wakefulness feeling disorientated and baffled when he realized that someone had covered him with a blanket. Somehow, it wasn't something he pictured Gibbs doing for him. Shaking his head, he almost had to laugh at the irony of wondering about the blanket when the fact that he had even spent the night under the boss' roof was in itself such a rare occasion, he was having trouble fighting the urge to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. _Man, he was hungry, though_.

"McGee, get in here and eat some breakfast." Gibbs calmly called from the doorway before he turned and headed back to the kitchen, fully expecting the younger man to do what he'd just asked of him

Tim got to his feet and took himself into the kitchen without wasting any time as the man's ability to know what he'd been thinking even first thing in the morning threw him off kilter for a minute. As he took a seat at the table, the boss had more to say.

"You crashed before you could get a decent meal last night, so, you're not skimping on breakfast." Gibbs instructed as he handed the young man a glass of o.j. and turned back to the stove to finish dishing up breakfast.

"Thanks, Boss." Tim replied quietly .

Through the silent breakfast and the equally quiet ride into work, both men seemed to have come to an unspoken yet understood impasse. It was clearly evident that Tim was not ready to talk. It was also clearly obvious that Gibbs was genuinely concerned about him, although Tim had a strong suspicion that it was only so that the boss wouldn't be a man down on the team. But, no matter, at least he appeared more human that Tim had credited him with. That wasn't to say the man didn't care about them; only that he only opened up and let see that caring when things were really bad or in the case of the rest of the team; when they needed it.

As they put in their appearance in the squad room, it was to find Tony and Ziva already at work, literally. Their computer stations were already up and running and both of them were already talking shop. As he picked up on what they were talking about, Tim joined in with what he knew and things quickly seemed to get back to normal for the team. Gibbs sat back and reveled in the normalcy that seemed to have returned almost as if nothing had happened to the contrary.

Needless to say, the morning hours passed by much quicker that way and when a lead was discovered, Gibbs was happy to send Tim and Ziva out after it. As he and Tony worked through what they already knew about the case, they found there wasn't much they could do until Tim and Ziva got back. Gibbs called for a break.

Abby and Jimmy came through the squad room on their way out to the airport. Both of them were taking the week off to spend time with their family. While Abby would be back on Christmas Eve, Jimmy wouldn't be back until the day after Christmas. Ducky had asked Jimmy to drive Abby to the airport since their flights were only 30 minutes apart from each other. Goodbyes were said all the way around as the four of them left the building together and split to go their own way.

While taking a much needed coffee run, Tony and Gibbs found themselves with nothing more to say. Tony needed to broach the subject that had kept him awake last night, needing to know what he could of what was going on with his Probie. He hoped Gibbs would have some answers that would help ease his worry.

"Boss."

"Mm?"

"Did you get Probie to open up?"

"Where you goin' with this, DiNozzo?"

"Boss, somethin's going on with him."

"McGee's fine."

"C'mon, Boss, you know he's not fine." Tony argued.

"He is right now, Stick with the here and now, DiNozzo. Don't screw with it."

"Meaning he wouldn't talk to you." Tony reasoned out.

"Meaning, DiNozzo, that you need to stop tryin' to fix what isn't broke."

Tony stopped and stared at his boss. _Did he really believe that nothing was wrong with McGee, just because the kid was acting like everything was okay this morning?  
_  
"Let's go, DiNozzo!" Gibbs barked.

Tony silently caught up to Gibbs but angrily held his tongue. He hated it when Gibbs acted like everything was right as rain with one of them when it was obvious things were not okay.

"Never said whatever's bothering him isn't there anymore, DiNozzo. Just don't want you tryin' to force your way in if he's not ready to open the door to you." Gibbs said from seemingly out of the blue.

"Okay. I hear ya, Boss." Tony gave in now that he realized Gibbs wasn't acting blind at all.

As they entered the security entrance to the building, they were shocked to see Sarah McGee waiting for them.

"Sarah" Gibbs greeted quietly.

"Agent Gibbs, I hope you don't mind, but I really need to talk to you!"

"Isn't this something you can talk to your brother about?" Tony asked in surprise.

Sarah looked at him for a minute as they got into the elevator together and it started taking them up to the squad room. Somehow, he would always be "Tommy" to her. The fact that her brother had based one of the characters in his book after this Agent still tickled Sarah's funny-bone when she thought about. It unnerved her to have to answer his question now.

Flipping the switch and engaging his 'office' Gibbs waited for her to answer Tony's question. He knew the answer judging by the phone call from Mrs. McGee just yesterday. Still, he wanted to hear it from Sarah since she was obviously upset enough about it to come to him after telling her mother that she couldn't bring herself to do that.

"Agent Gibbs." Sarah finally said, as she looked away from "Tommy" and turned her attention to her brother's boss. "I know my mother spoke to you yesterday. And I wanted to thank you for letting her know that Tim is safe. But, I need to talk to you. In private."

Gibbs searched her eyes for what she was thinking and all he could see was fear and worry. Then he flipped the elevator back on and let it resume its' course toward their floor.

"Tony, go man the fort." Gibbs said as he held the button for the open door, once it stopped the right floor for the Senior Field Agent."

"On it, Boss." Tony said as he headed to his desk with his mind racing at what he'd just heard.

"Have a seat." Gibbs bid his youngest agent's little sister as they entered the conference room and Gibbs closed the door behind him.

"Thank you. And thank you for giving me the time to talk to you"

"What's this about? Aside from your brother."

"No, it's about Tim."

"Okay. What's on your mind?"

"First, can you tell me, is he really okay?"

"Sarah. I wouldn't have told your mother he was if he wasn't. Your brother's fine."

"No, Agent Gibbs. That's just it. He's NOT fine."

"I'm listening."

"He won't talk to anyone! I know it has to be tearing him up inside, I just know it is!" Sarah cried as she gave in to her need to cry it out.

"Sarah. Your brother has the right not to talk about whatever this is, if that's what he so chooses. I won't let you take that choice away from him. So, if you're here to tell me what it is that he doesn't want to tell me himself? I'm afraid you've wasted a trip down here."

"But, Agent Gibbs, you need to know!"

"I doubt that. If it was something I needed to know, your brother wouldn't be keeping it from me."

"You don't understand!"

"Okay. Calm down. All right? I'll be right back." Gibbs said as he stepped outside and closed the door behind him. Whipping out his phone, he called Ducky.

"Got a live one for ya, Duck. Upstairs. Conference Room 2. Oh and a bottle of water with you, would you? Thanks."

As he reentered the room, he was startled to find Sarah McGee standing at the window, lost in thought. Wordlessly, he watched her as she remained thinking of things unknown. When Ducky came in just a few minutes later, Sarah hadn't budged from the window, but she had started silently crying. Unwilling to risk hearing from this young woman,what his agent obviously didn't want him to know, Gibbs quickly made his silent exit, leaving the M.E. to look after his youngest agent's little sister.

Coming back to the squad room, it was to find all three of his agents working on the case, in quiet harmony and discussion of fact and theory as they waded through what they had and where in the case it brought them. Gibbs silently walked up behind his three agents as they stood grouped in front of the plasma TV looking at the hard records and addresses. After a good ten minutes of tossing ideas around, the remaining puzzle pieces slid into place and Tony threw his arms up in triumph as the motive came to light and finally fit together to form the solution.

"So, as usual, the wife did it! Another slam-dunk for the DiNozzo theory of criminal Behavior 101!" Tony gloated as he turned around and came nose to nose with a bemused Gibbs.

Tim couldn't help but grin at Tony being caught unawares in the midst of such a resounding moment of his own glorified case solving. While the humor on Tim's face and actually in his eyes for that moment was nice to see; his grin quickly faded to be just as quickly replaced with a stormy look of anger mixed with something not quite discernable. Since Gibbs was the only one facing Tim at that moment, he was the first to notice the change in the young man's expression and the boss' heart sunk as he followed where Tim was now looking, at his sister coming down the stairs with Ducky.

Sure enough, as Tim stormed past a now startled Tony and Ziva and a boss that was quickly trying to stop him, the air seemed to suddenly sizzle with the younger man's rising anger.

"McGee!" Gibbs barked out in an attempt to settle the young man down.

"Probie, Stop!" Tony tried to help Gibbs put a stop to Tim's trek toward his sister.

The Senior Field Agent's mind was screaming at him. _What would cause Probie to be so pissed about his sister being here? Oh, Right! She'd told Gibbs that Tim wasn't talking to anyone. Guess that meant her too. Oh, No and now she was at his job talking to the people who were over him? No wonder he was pissed! Oh, No! Train wreck! Obviously the boss thinks so too._

Tim stopped himself at the edge of the squad room, unwilling to make a scene out of whatever was going on here. Just letting her see that he was aware of what she'd done and that he was extremely pissed about it, should take care of the message he needed her to receive. He couldn't bring himself to look at his boss, who'd come to stand beside him, or even Tony, who'd come to stand right behind his other shoulder. Even Ziva stood nearby in case her support for what ever was going on was necessary.

As Sarah and Ducky came around the edge of the stairwell, and were brought up short by the wall of bodies bordering the squad room, Tim's eyes snapped to his sister's who's own reflected her joy at seeing him again, only to be replaced quickly by anger that seemed to match her brother's at his apparent oncoming temper.

Without wasting any time, Sarah stepped up to Gibbs and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for taking the time to listen to me." She said as she turned back to her brother and gave him something to think about as she stepped up into his personal space to speak quietly to him. "You may have been hurt the deepest by what you found out, but don't forget that this has affected Mom and me, too! You really hurt her."

Having said her piece, she turned back to Ducky, smiling at Tony and Ziva before she allowed Ducky to walk her to the elevator and escort her out of the building. Tim stood stock still, so angry it literally crackled in the air around him. His hands were clenched at the ends of his stiffened arms and his breathing was beginning to resemble that of someone who'd just run a marathon. Tony stepped back and made eye contact with Ziva before making a quiet rear exit with her so that Gibbs could calm Probie down in some semblance of privacy.

Seeing Tony and Ziva's discreet exit and knowing the reason for it, Gibbs wasted no time and immediately attempted to calm Tim down.

"McGee. Whatever this is about has nothing to do with work. So go take a break and calm down so we can get this case put to bed and go home."

Tim snapped at what his muddled brain perceived as more uncaring pushiness from Gibbs. "What was she doing here?" he demanded. "What did you tell her?"

Gibbs' eyebrows arched up to his hairline as he silently attempted to glare his agent back into submission. Surprisingly enough; which in itself was worrying, Gibbs' glare was having no effect on McGee's anger. Finally after a moment of a genuine glaring contest, Gibbs threw down his ace, "Are ya done?" Knowing that question would communicate the proximity to that line he felt Tim was crossing.

"Yeah." Tim huffed out, still too angry to be apologetic.

"I wouldn't let her tell me anything, McGee" Gibbs reassured him calmly.

"I don't understand." Tim said quietly. His tone was now apologetic and it was obvious that he was feeling bad for having treated Gibbs that way.

"Whatever's going on with you – is your business and you've made it clear that you're not ready to talk about it – I wasn't gonna let her take that decision away from you."

"Boss, I'm sorry!"

"Don't apologize, McGee."

"Sign of weakness, I know. I got it, Boss." Tim replied meekly, still feeling extremely humiliated and embarrassed over what had just happened. His head fell almost to his chest as his shoulders slouched in humiliation and guilt.

"No, McGee, believe it or not there are other reasons apologies aren't needed and this is one of them. You thought I'd betrayed your confidence, what little of it you've let me in on. I get that, but next time, take the time to hear someone out before you go off on them, you got me?"

"I will." Tim promised. He remained frozen in place and it was almost as though if he moved, he'd have to think too much beyond what he was capable of right now.

"McGee. Your mother called me yesterday." Gibbs revealed cautiously as he walked back over toward him.

The color drained from Tim's face and Gibbs felt the need to grab hold of him before he fell out in the floor. Luckily, Ducky returned in time to wheel a chair over to the obviously upset young man.

"McGee? She just wanted to know that you were okay, since you haven't been returning her calls either. She wouldn't tell me anything else. I told her you were fine. That was it." The boss was quick to reassure his agent.

Tim nodded silently as he fought to regain his breath. This just kept getting worse and worse. Even as he fought to keep it out of work, his family was dragging it straight across the bow of his place of work and there was little he could do to stop it. He hated the helpless feeling it gave him but he hated the deep vulnerability he felt right now, even worse. It obviously wouldn't take much to push his buttons and have him doing something stupid. As it was, he could very well see sanctions coming down on his head for the way he'd just treated Gibbs.

"Duck, take him for a break, will ya? See what you can do for him?" Gibbs requested quietly as they stood in the middle of the work space watching Tim try to pull himself together while he sat at his desk.

"Absolutely. Come, Timothy, let's get you a snack and some juice." Ducky encouraged.

Tim cracked a smile as he got to his feet and headed in the M.E.'s direction . "You weren't by any chance a kindergarten teacher at one time, were you, Ducky?"

Ducky chuckled. "No, dear boy, but I did just sound like one, didn't I?"

Tim nodded as he walked slowly with the M.E. toward the break room.

Gibbs couldn't stop the grin that escaped him at Tim's cheekiness as well as his returning sense of humor, despite the fact that the young man was still visibly upset.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Need to put a disclaimer here. This story was written and completed before Christmas 2010.  
It was only last week that I happened to see the syndicated episode of CSI that has a character with the same name that I used in this story.  
There is no relation; despite similarities both venues attributed to the character._

* * *

Fifteen minutes later and everyone had returned to their desks and normalcy had returned to the squad room. Case work was once again, the call of the day. As the reports were typed up and placed on the boss' desk, the squad room got quiet. Too quiet.

Gibbs looked up to find two of his three agents silently having a paper ball fight across the space between their desks and his youngest agent, typing away like he was actually still working on something. With the realization that it wasn't the current case they'd just nearly put to bed, Gibbs knew it probably was a cold case; as McGee often busied himself going back over the electronic trails of them when he was bored. Noting the time, he smiled inwardly at the break he was getting ready to offer his team. Hell, they'd earned it. They'd busted their asses on this case and it had been solved quickly because of it. With that in mind, he opened his mouth and made their day.

"Go home!"

Wild cheetahs couldn't have beaten Tony and Ziva to the elevator once the words were spoken and they high tailed it out of there at only 5pm. On the other hand, newly hatched baby turtles scrambling for the safety of the ocean could have beaten McGee to it. The young man hadn't budged. He continued with what he was doing as if Gibbs hadn't even spoken.

"McGee!" Gibbs barked from where he stood behind his own desk.

Tim stopped typing and looked over at his boss. "Boss?"

"Go home!" the boss ordered in the tone no one argued with.

Tim nodded his head just enough that it would be taken for his agreement, and closed down his workstation. He wasn't completely successful in hiding his reaction to being sent packing. With his shoulders slouched in what ordinarily would be considered a defeated posture and his eyes now downcast and shifting with something unsettled shadowed in the less than bright green orbs, it didn't take a genius to see that this wasn't what he'd wanted to hear.

Gibbs took note of it and left him in peace. If the kid wanted to talk, he'd spill whatever was on his mind in his own good time and not before. The best thing the boss could do for him now, was give him a push in the right direction; one that would guarantee he'd get a good night's sleep.

Tim left out of the building, stowed his gear in his car and walked. Without thought to the lateness of the hour or the chill in the air, he walked. It was hard to even think of driving anywhere, much less home where he couldn't even sleep. What would be the point? Finally, his legs gave out and he found himself nearly falling into the bench, surprisingly back in front of the NCIS building. He'd walked in circles and hadn't even noticed. Tim couldn't get his mind to stop replaying the events that had shaken his world; just two weeks ago:

_****Flashback***_

_"Tim McGee" he answered his ringing cell phone without looking at the caller id. Being in the car on the way back from a crime scene had his focus on the case and not the call and so his mother's voice shocked him._

_"Tim."_

_"What's wrong?"_

_"You need to come home. You're father…"_

_"He's gone. You have to accept that. What happened?" Tim strove to keep the conversation as neutral as possible, unwilling to let the team in on this personal situation. Gibbs was already eyeing him in the rearview mirror as he attempted to illicit the information out of his obviously very upset mother._

_"I've been going through his papers. When he died six weeks ago, I found out about his safe deposit box."_

_"Can this wait until tonight when I can call you back?"_

_"Oh, yes. You're working. I'm sorry."_

_"It's okay. Let me call you back tonight, alright?"_

_"Okay, honey. You won't forget now, will you?"_

_"I won't forget. I promise."_

_"Okay. I love you."_

_"I know." Tim answered as he hung up the phone. Swallowing hard, he turned his head to stare out the window. He knew his boss was looking at him, but he also knew he'd done the best he could to hurry the personal interruption along and get things back to the right focus; at least for the rest of them. For him, his mind wouldn't cooperate now._

_It was unusual for Tony to leave him in peace but for some reason, the rest of this ride back to the office was accomplished in that fashion. Tim, for one, wasn't complaining. He spent the rest of the drive back worrying about what his mother had been talking about._

_He hadn't told anyone about his father's death, six weeks ago. They'd been off the weekend he'd gotten the call that his father had been killed in an accident. Although, he hadn't seen his father in several months, due to their incredibly busy work schedules, he had spoken to him every weekend without fail. They'd always been close and it was the only thing that had kept Tim from falling apart whenever Gibbs appeared cold and uncaring in the face of things that had gone wrong at work or Tony became almost unbearable. Even the times Abby had seemed to become distant had sent him to the phone to call his father; needing to touch base with the grounding force that helped him keep his head on straight and in the game when he wanted so badly to give up and walk away._

_Being able to call his father and lean on him and know he'd always hear that he was loved and respected even if it was from afar, kept him going when nothing else could. And now that unconditional love and support was gone._

_Only one person had been clued into the truth of why he hadn't come to work that one Monday he'd taken off. Director Shepard not only knew exactly what was going on, but also why Tim chose not to tell the team; well, she knew what Tim had chosen to use as his explanation for not telling them. He'd kept it simple. He wanted his private life to remain private._

_There was a part of Tim that wholeheartedly refused to be gut-wrenchingly honest with anyone other than Gibbs and since that wasn't happening any time soon, he'd make due with simplifying his reasons to the one person he had to tell, so that if it all ever came out, no one would feel like they'd been slapped with the lack of honesty. Honesty, after all, was everything._

_In the weeks following his father's death, Tim had tried very hard to maintain his normal persona, but found it harder every day. There were several times, he'd wanted to find his way to Gibbs' basement and talk to the man like he'd never been able to before. But, that was the rub. They had never talked. Not in the three years he'd been on the man's team. Why would the man even want to listen to him now? _

_Wouldn't he just tell Tim to 'get over it'? Wasn't that what he'd told Kate when she'd killed that Petty officer? Gibbs had called it suicide by cop. Kate had relayed that story to him when he'd needed to hear it; when Erin Kendall had been murdered on his watch. This wasn't even close to killing someone. So, it stood to reason that the man would be far less sympathetic about it than he had been in Kate's situation. No, the former marine's lack of tolerance for anything that resembled weakness would not help, even if having someone at work to talk to, would._

_Ducky, on the other hand; Ducky was a different story. The M.E. would listen. Tim knew this and still he couldn't bring himself to talk. A part of him stayed too worried that it would get back to Gibbs; not because Ducky didn't keep confidences, but because Gibbs was a damn good investigator and an ace at putting pieces of puzzles together. Tim was fairly sure, it wouldn't have been long that the end result of that would have been just as bad as if he'd actually broken down and talked to the man himself._

_He couldn't even talk to Abby. Her propensity for bulldozing through whatever she didn't want to hear and zoning in on only what she did want to hear would not help in this situation. Her child-like way of seeing most things, even personal ones, was an unwelcome possibility that weighed into this decision as well_

_Ziva had been through so much worse that this in just the past two years, Tim couldn't even consider dumping any of this on her. It just wasn't even something he could even think about for longer than a minute without feeling really crappy about it. He valued her friendship much too much to do that to her._

_Sarah was coping. His little sister was keeping herself busy with school and even working on transferring out to California where their mother was moving to. She'd broken the news about both upcoming changes when Tim had gone home for his father's funeral. Though it had been a shock, Tim understood, though, once he'd gotten over the shock. His mother needed to make changes in her life that would make the passing of her husband more endurable. His sister needed change for the same reason. Tim couldn't begrudge either of them that, even if it meant he'd be on the east coast all by himself from now on, with no family support to fall back on._

_And so, for six weeks, Tim had steadily ploughed through each day, silently grieving for his father and hurting at the upcoming loss of the rest of his family; all the while, outwardly doing his best to keep his 'normal' mask in place. He'd done a fairly decent job of it and hadn't even raised more than a couple of eyebrows in concern. Tony and Ziva hadn't picked up on anything and the fact that things stayed the same with them, actually kept Tim's head in the game._

_Now, all of that was possibly changing. With determination that would have made his father proud, Tim made it through the rest of the day with his head completely on straight. He didn't want a single wrong word spoken between himself and Gibbs or himself and Tony. The control he'd held onto all these weeks, of not talking or even allowing himself to let his grief out, was too tenuous as it was. The last thing he wanted to do was snap off on anyone._

_Gibbs had apparently found some compassion from somewhere and slipped it to Tim, quietly and without any other discussion, giving him permission to leave earlier than the others. With a nod of silent appreciation, Tim closed down his work station and slipped out as inconspicuously as possible. As soon as he was in his car, and headed off the base, he laid his phone out in his lap, hit the speaker phone and called his mother._

_"Mom, I'm off work. What's going on?"_

_"You need to come home. I found some papers here that you need to see."_

_"Not possible. It's the middle of a long work week. I have to work tomorrow."_

_"Tim, you're only three hours away. Come up here, sign for these papers and turn around and go home. You won't even miss work. You're off unusually early today anyway."_

_"I have to sign for these papers? What are they exactly?"_

_"Just papers your father wanted you to have. Yes, according to the will, they need to be signed for by you."_

_"Which means someone will need to witness my signing for them."_

_"I'll take care of that. Can you just get here, please?"_

_"Yeah, Okay, Let me just grab my overnight bag and I'll be on my way."_

_"Thank you, Son. It'll be a huge load off my back to have this done with."_

_"Okay, Mom, I'm on my way. See you in a couple of hours."_

_The papers, it turned out, were in a package with a letter from his father to Tim on top. Both of which, would forever change Tim's world; as soon as he was done reading what would pull the rug out from underneath him._

_Tim read the letter first._

_"My dearest Tim"  
"First, let me say, that if you are reading this, then my worst fear has come true and I have left this world before I was ready to be taken from yours and your sister's or your mother's lives._

_You know I have always loved you deeply and unconditionally. You were my son; despite the fact that you were, in fact, not my son_

_Yes, you read it correctly. You were not my child. I loved you as if you were. But, biologic ties were the one thing in life I could not give you. I am so sorry. Your mother and I agreed not to tell you so long as I was alive because my relationship with you was much too precious to me. I also saw no reason to take that away from you._

_Now that I am gone, you deserve to know the truth. With genetic lines and medical history being somewhat important in things these days, the truth needs to be laid out there for you to understand and have the chance to deal with; even if it is hard for you to accept._

_But, now that I am no longer able to be here for you. I fear your mother won't be able to go through with giving you the truth; your true family history. She fears losing you for not telling you sooner._

_Whatever you do, son, please do not let this turn you against your mother. That, I beg of you. That is my final request of you. My last wish. I know I can trust you to do this for me. Keep your relationship with your mother as strong now as it has been all this time. And please continue to take care of your sister, as you always have._

_The enclosed paternity tests are real and accurate. Your real father's name is at the bottom of the paper._

_Always remember, son. I loved you unconditionally. Completely always.  
Dad."_

_Tim leaned his elbow on his father's desk and laid his head in his hands. It was difficult for him to control the torrent of emotions that threatened to spill over in lieu of what he was reading and the tears began to fall. For the first time since his father's death, he finally allowed himself to grieve. And now, it wasn't just tears of grief, but of anger and betrayal and the hurt of dishonesty from the very people who had so stringently enforced honesty within his own soul._

_Uncaring of the time, Tim let the emotional storm rage until it had run itself dry; packed up his paperwork, barely glimpsing the name on the paternity test; and set it back down, looking at it more closely. Lucas Martin_

_That name rang a bell in Tim's mind and it wasn't a pleasant one. Booting up his father's desktop computer, he quickly did a search on the name. As the search produced results, Tim's blood ran cold. He steadfastly created a file with every source he found on the information he'd requested, copied it to a flash drive, of which his father always kept a supply of handy; erased his search, closed down the computer, and headed toward the door, wanting to leave without another word to his mother. His pain, sense of betrayal and grief too raw._

_His mother met him at the door, physically blocking his path, desperate for the chance to find out what those papers were. Her husband had never told her he would be leaving Tim any papers. She was clueless._

_"Tim. Honey. What is it? What were the papers about?"_

_Tim stopped in his steps and glared at his mother, his manners temporarily thrown by the wayside as his anger took over._

_"Honey, what is it?"_

_"Were you ever gonna tell me?" he asked her in a clipped angry tone that she had never heard from him before._

_"Tell you?"_

_"LUCAS MARTIN!" he yelled at her while reaching for the door handle on the front door._

_The color drained from his mother's face and only Sarah rushing up to offer physical support to her, kept her from falling into the floor in a heap._

_"Timothy McGee! What the hell is wrong with you?" Sarah bellowed_

_"Ask Mom!" Tim raged as he stormed out and jumped in his car. Peeling out of the driveway, he allowed himself to drive only so far as to be out of sight of the house before he pulled over and forcefully calmed himself down._

_It was a wonder he made it home safely that morning. It was after 1 am when he got in and sleep was a distant idea that hadn't even come close to his door that night. He spent the night going over the information he found and digging up more. Each shred of information he found only served to dig the hole deeper that had opened up underneath him on this trip home. Suddenly, he found himself standing on the edge of an abyss._

_***End Flashback**_

For more than two weeks now, he stood on that edge and yet somehow, he managed to keep his footing. It was a wonder with the amount of sleep he wasn't getting every night becoming more and more than what he was getting. He couldn't even remember the last time he ate something or even what it was. Today, he'd made a decision. He was ready to stand by that decision, after he got a second opinion on it. Pulling out his cellphone, he called the one person who he could talk to without fear of judgment or belittlement of what he needed to say.

* * *

"Hello? Ducky answered his phone as he and Gibbs headed down to the parking garage.

_"Ducky, did I catch you at a bad time?" _Tim asked.

"Timothy? No, lad, not a bad time at all. What can I do for you?" Ducky asked as he and Gibbs both froze in their joint trek to the garage.

_"I really need a second opinion about something. But I need it to stay just between us, if that's okay?"_

"Certainly, young man. Just tell me where you are and I will be most happy to come talk with you."

_I'm out front of our building. On the bench."_

"Timothy, did Jethro not send all of you home hours ago? Are you telling me that you've been here all this time, lad?" Ducky asked incredulously.

_"What time is it?" _Tim's question screamed disorientation which worried the M.E.

"Well, lad, it's almost 9 o'clock. I understood from Jethro that he sent you home at the unusual hour of five."

_"I just felt like walking. I was in no hurry to get home. Besides, I had a lot I needed to think about."_

"I do hope you have not allowed yourself to become chilled to the bone, young man." Ducky scolded.

_"I'm fine, Ducky. Really."_ Tim promised.

"Well, I shall be there momentarily." The M.E. soothed.

_"Thank you, Ducky." _Tim replied quietly before he ended the call.

"Duck?" Gibbs asked with concern.

"It would appear, Jethro, that young Timothy has been here all along. Walking and thinking. He's asked to speak with me as he needs a second opinion about something. I do hope he hasn't made himself sick from being out here in this cold all this time."

"Where is he?"

"Out in front of the building. Jethro, he has asked for this to remain confidential." Ducky warned.

"I've got no problem with that. You know that, Ducky, unless whatever this is about starts to affect his job. Let me know if there's anything I can do. And see if you can get him to tell you why he's not getting much sleep these days." Gibbs said as he patted the M.E.'s arm and headed toward his car, waiting until Ducky had walked back out to the front of the garage and then drove out, heading home.


	5. Chapter 5

"Timothy. What seems to be troubling you?"

"Hi, Ducky. Thanks again. I'm sorry to be disturbing your time off."

"Nonsense, dear boy, the only thing you're disturbing is my solitude, since Mother will have gone off to bed by now. Would you care to take this somewhere more hospitable, maybe my house, per chance?"

"You wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all. In fact, why don't you give me a ride in that wonderful sports car of yours? You can drive me back in in the morning, as well. I would love the opportunity to ride in it."

"Would you like to drive it?" Tim offered with a smile.

"Thank you, but no. I will refrain from such luxury, as I am much too used to driving my Morgan to do your prized car justice."

"Okay." Tim replied with his smile still in place.

Thirty minutes later found Tim and Ducky settled comfortably in the older man's den, each nursing a hot spot of tea to warm their bones. The chill had permeated through Tim more than he'd realized until he'd gotten inside and felt the difference. Now, he was grateful for the opportunity to have this talk in comfort rather than the cold.

"All right, Timothy. What seems to be the trouble?" Ducky asked.

"Ducky, have you ever spent your whole life believing something about someone, only to find out after they're gone, that what you knew about them wasn't the truth after all?"

"Someone important in your life, Timothy?" the older man watched closely for the reaction he was sure to come from his gentle probing.

"Yeah." Tim answered so quietly, Ducky barely heard him.

The pained answer pulled at Ducky's heart strings. "Do you wish to talk about it?" he pushed gently.

"I can't Ducky. If I started to tell you about it, I wouldn't be able to stop until everything came out, and it's too much." Tim's anquished admittance ripped the band-aid off his broken heart and allowed the pain to climb into his expression and even his posture.

"Timothy, when a burden becomes too much for us to bear alone, that is the ideal time for a friend to help us shoulder that burden." His surrogate uncle reminded him gently.

Ducky's words brought tears to Tim's eyes and he quickly turned his head away before the kindly M.E. could see his weakness. He'd needed someone to talk to for weeks now. But, he hated the idea of burdening this kind gentle soul with all of this. His only intention tonight had been to ask for a 2nd opinion about what he felt he needed to do.

"Timothy, I know you well enough to know that right about now, you're fighting with yourself about this. You think you will be burdening me by allowing me the honor of sharing whatever it is that has weighed you down so terribly." The M.E. reasoned wisely.

"Yeah. I guess you really do know me, Ducky." Tim answered quietly with awe in his voice even as it broke.

"Yes, dear boy, I do. Come now; allow me to hear what you need to get off your chest. Let me see if I can be of help to you, hmm?"

Tim took a couple of deep breaths and opened his mouth and just let the words come without much thought to how much it would or wouldn't reveal. "I found out two weeks ago that the man who raised me, who I spent my whole life believing was my father, wasn't my father after all." The anger he'd been harnessing was being released through is words and the pure, underlying rage that he felt at the situation could be heard clearly in his tone. "The man who meant more to me than anyone else in my life, wasn't actually who he'd pretended to be all these years."

"Oh, Timothy. How painful for you. May I ask how you found out? Does that have any bearing on how this has affected you?" Ducky asked sympathetically.

"You could say that. I found out because when the man I thought was my father died two months ago, my mother found something he'd left for me. She found them two weeks ago. I have no idea why it took her so long to find them." Tim replied with the same dose of anger, obviously unable to shove it back down into hiding just yet.

"Timothy, your father died two months ago? No one on your team has mentioned this to me." Ducky exclaimed.

"They don't know," Tim admitted quietly.

"You didn't tell anyone?" the M.E. asked in disbelief.

"I told Director Shepard. I had to take the day of the funeral off. I don't know what excuse she gave Gibbs. I just know there weren't any questions about my absence when I came back."

"Jethro was told that you were out of town on a family emergency that Director Shepard herself had granted you the day off for. He was also told that all questions regarding the situation were to be directed to her." Ducky informed him.

"Great! I'm sure Gibbs was just thrilled about that!" Tim worried.

"Has he said anything to you or acted differently toward you since then?" the M.E. questioned carefully.

"No, everything's been same as usual. So, I guess it's all right." Tim reasoned out.

"Timothy, why wouldn't you want your team to know about your father's passing? Did you doubt that they would be there for you?"

"Yeah, I did. I mean, don't get me wrong, Ducky, they pull together really well when they need to, for each other. But I just couldn't handle the jokes and the movie references and the rhetoric that's meant to be sympathetic but disappears just as suddenly as it shows up to begin with. "

"But you did need your friends to be there for you. I believe not having them to help you through that difficult time most likely affected how you've dealt with this loss. In not allowing your friends to help you through this, you've found it necessary to hide all that comes with that loss. You haven't been yourself since his passing, Timothy. We have all seen that. The last two weeks have been especially difficult for you."

"You're right, Ducky. It's been hard. Really hard." Tim admitted even as his voice broke once again and an errant tear slipped down his face.

"Timothy, let it out, dear boy." Ducky urged as he enfolded Tim into an embrace that would anchor him through the storm he needed to let rage in order to begin to heal and move on.

Tim's need to let Ducky in distracted him just enough that the grip on his control slackened and everything he'd been bottling up inside began to slip right through the cracks that Ducky's compassion and support found their way into, allowing the storm to build. Thankfully, this storm, when it finally broke, was a much weaker version of the one he'd gone through back in his father's study two weeks ago and he was able to regain his control and equilibrium after just a few short minutes.

Stepping back, Tim stepped over to the table where Ducky kept a box of tissues, grabbed a few and dried his eyes and his face. The torrent of tears left him feeling drained so he sat himself down in the closest chair before he spoke. "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome, young man. I only wish you would have at least let me know. I would have accompanied you and been there when you needed someone." The older man gently scolded.

"I know. But you were backed up in Autopsy. You wouldn't have been able to come with me and it would have left you feeling bad and I didn't want that." Tim answered quietly in his own defense.

"Ah, Yes, I remember. Well. You've reached out to me for help now, and I will do what I can. But, I must ask you, Timothy, is what your father left you the cause of you not being able to sleep?"

"How did you know I haven't been able to sleep?" Tim asked in surprise.

"Jethro asked me to see what I could do to help you get some rest." Ducky revealed.

"Oh, no!"

"Timothy, he is concerned. That is all." The older man endeavored to reassure the young man.

"Really? Do you think you would be willing to read what he left me and help me figure out what it means? I mean it looks pretty clear-cut, but I just… I need to be sure."

"Certainly."

Tim dug out his wallet, took out a folded piece of paper and unfolded it and then handed it to the M.E. "I only have it on me today because I knew I was gonna need to show it to you when I talked to you."

Ducky sat back and read the letter carefully and thoroughly, feeling pain for the young man with every word he read. When he'd finished reading, he set the letter down in his lap and looked over at the young man who'd come to him for help and a second opinion above anyone else he worked with and trusted to have his back every day on the job.

Where Ducky had thought this was going to be just a simple question and answer situation, he know realized this was much deeper and much more entailed than Timothy was even letting him in on, in all likelihood.

"Timothy, while this is certainly enough to cause you enough to feel as though the rug has been pulled out from beneath you. I do not understand why this would cause you to lose sleep over it for this long. What is really the trouble here? Is it the anger or the feeling like you've been betrayed? Would talking to a psychologist help you get through this better?"

"That's all just part of it, Ducky."

"What is the rest of the problem?"

"The name."

"I'm afraid I'm not following you."

"Will you look over the paternity test for me?" Tim pleaded.

"Certainly."

Again, Tim dug into his wallet and took out a folded piece of paper. This one was yellow and had the definite look of a lab result.

Ducky took the paper and looked it over. When he was absolutely sure the tests results made sense and looked right, he looked at the name; the very thing that was causing Timothy to lose sleep. _Lucas Martin_

Ducky's brain hitched at that name. Something was familiar about it. Where had he heard it before? As the questions ran through his mind, the fact that the name was adversely affecting this young man was sending warning flags to Ducky's brain as well.

Tim got up from his chair. "Ducky, I need to use your computer. It'll make more sense to you if you just look at this file." He said as he walked over to the Desktop computer and fired it up. It wasn't password protected and Tim was quickly online and had even dug out his flash drive and had it plugged in before the M.E. had even joined him at the desk. Once he'd gotten the files to upload and open, Tim walked away, leaving Ducky to see for himself what was causing Tim sleepless nights

As soon as the pages of saved data began popping up and the headlines began jumping out at him, Ducky's blood ran cold. For Timothy's sake, he forced himself to read through what the young man had uncovered about the man who was reported to be his biological father.

"Now do you understand why I can't sleep at night?" Tim asked from the doorway. He stood where he didn't have to see the images that had already been burned into his brain. They were the reason his mind couldn't escape this new truth that his life had become, even in his sleep.

"Oh, Timothy!" Ducky sympathized.

"What I needed your opinion on is whether or not I should get a second test done; DNA or a second paternity test or something current. Something … I don't know…I just…" Tim tried to explain.

"I certainly understand you desire for more current test results, Timothy. I would recommend it, yes. But, as far as you getting it done, I'm not sure how you would go about doing that."

"I'm gonna go ask him to voluntarily give me a sample."

"Timothy, why would you put yourself through that? Why not simply get a court order and let the system work for you?"

"Because I'm not doing this as a Federal Agent. I'm doing this as an adult who wants to know whether or not this man is my father. I want absolutely no ties to the agency involved in this."

"I understand your reasons, Timothy. Still, I think it highly unwise for you to do this alone."

"I don't have much choice, Ducky. It's not like I want it made public. Anyone at the agency finds out; I might as well hand Abby or Tony the bullhorn and let them have at it." Tim said dryly.

Ducky read the pain within the jest. He wasn't willing to let this young man think for a moment that he had to go through any of this alone. But, he did still need some questions answered.

"Timothy, is this why your mother called Jethro and the purpose for your sister's visit to him, as well?"

"I'm sure that's part of it. It's probably because I haven't talked to them since I found out."Tim answered quietly.

"While I can understand your anger towards your mother, as I'm sure you must have immediately jumped to the conclusion that she had to have known all along; I do find it puzzling that you would not want to talk with your sister."

"I just can't handle them right now, Ducky. I can barely function at work and I'm losing more and more sleep every night. Visions of who this man is and what he's done won't leave me alone. Every time I close my eyes…." Tim said in a voice that was full of frustration, anger and pain, none of which showed any sign of leaving him anytime soon.

"Timothy, Jethro has expressed no dis-satisfaction with your job performance and has only expressed concern regarding your obvious sleep deprivation."

"Exactly, Ducky. I'd really like to keep it that way. Although, I'd love to be able to sleep a full 8 hours, too. But, I doubt that'll happen anytime soon."

"Come, Timothy, we shall take care of that right now. Drink this tea and take this sedative. The guest room is plenty comfortable"

"No, Ducky, I couldn't."

"Yes, you can and you will. Now, drink up. "

As expected, Tim was safely and peacefully asleep a short ten minutes later with Ducky sitting by to keep the nightmares at bay.


	6. Chapter 6

_Friday – December 15th_

Morning found Tim feeling much more rested and on top of his game. After a peaceful breakfast with Ducky and quiet conversation about small inconsequential things like the weather and their cars; as well as a quick shower, and a change into a spare set of clothes he kept in his car, he was ready to face the day. Since both of them enjoyed the peace and quiet of arriving at work earlier than the others; they soon found themselves sitting in Ducky's office quietly enjoying a cup of tea and conversation that didn't involve work.

Ducky gently prodded Tim for whatever else might be bothering him and was able to get him to admit his sense of abandonment with both his sister and mother moving to the west coast. Before he left to go up to his desk, Tim promised the M.E. that he would either continue talking to Ducky about what he was going through or at least consider seeing a psychologist. Anxious to get busy, Tim headed up to his desk after only a few minutes.

Up in the squad room, Tim got down to work, booting up his computer and looking over the first case on top of the cold case stack. Sadly, enough it was a murder case and one that pre-dated his time on the team. Tim hated unsolved murder cases as it always left him with the feeling that the victims had been let down and disrespected when their killers weren't brought to justice for the life they had taken. After the astounding revelations he'd just had thrown at him, Tim had even less tolerance for them now.

As most murder cases went, this one was bound to keep him busy, chasing down leads, even formally dead ones. He'd been pouring over the case for over an hour before he even realized it was almost 7 am and the others were coming in. Gibbs came in from the back elevator, which meant he'd started his day by talking to Ducky about something.

Tony and Ziva arrived, took in the fact that Tim was already obviously knee-deep in searches for the case on his desk, and for once left him alone after greeting him and powering up their own work stations. Both of them grabbed a case of the cold case stack and got busy going through what they had to work with. Once again, the time flew, albeit with quite a bit more of the normal sniping and joking even with Tim joining in occasionally, than there had been yesterday.

Lunchtime came and went and from the middle of nowhere, an expected pizza delivery was made and as Tim cheerfully but silently paid up, Tony, Ziva and even Gibbs relaxed, thanked him, and went back to working even as they ate. The afternoon also flew by and before they knew it, six o'clock had arrived and Gibbs gave them the okay to call it a night. With places to go and people to see, Tim was soon gone from the squad room, even quicker than the others and Gibbs was left wondering what the hell had lit the fire under his agent's feet.

Almost as soon as Tony and Ziva had vacated the squad room for the elevator, Ducky seemed to appear out of thin air. Obviously, the M.E. had something on his mind.

"Duck? Something wrong?"

"Not at the moment, Jethro. Although, I must say, I certainly hope that it stays that way." The M.E. answered more cryptically than the younger man was used to hearing from him.

"Spit it out, Duck. What's going on?" Gibbs demanded impatiently.

"I simply wanted to ask that you remain on guard this weekend, Jethro."

"Something going on I should know about?" the Team Leader asked with a touch of alarm.

"Yes. Unfortunately, what that something is, I am not at liberty to say." His friend answered sadly.

"You know I hate it when you do this, right? Okay. Just tell me who this is about." Gibbs tried to meet Ducky half way on the confidential issue while still gaining the information he was after.

Ducky remained silent although he pointedly looked at Tim's desk for a long troubled minute. Looking back at Gibbs, he patted him on the arm and wished him a good night before heading out.

Gibbs was left with the beginning of a worrying knot twisting in his gut.

* * *

Tony and Ziva in mutual agreement, spurred on by shared concern for their obviously troubled teammate, headed over to Tim's apartment to talk to him and see what was going on with him. Sure, he'd seemed okay today; barely, but there was definitely something going on with him, and no one had bothered to even ask him in quite a while. That was something they needed and wanted to amend. As they pulled into Tim's apartment complex, Tim's car was remarkably not there. Tony looked over at Ziva as he turned his car off. "Something's off here."

"I agree." She answered as she got out of the car and met him on his side of the car.  
Taking a minute to peruse the area, they were satisfied that nothing was blatantly wrong and headed up to Tim's apartment. When they reached his door, they were surprised to find it open and the sounds of people from within. Knocking on the door, they waited for someone to let them in even though the open door didn't require it.

When a man, who was obviously a maintenance man for the apartment, if his uniform shirt was anything to go by, answered the door, Tony and Ziva exchanged worried glances.

"Hey. Sorry, the apartment won't be ready for renting for at least two more days." The man stated calmly.

"Excuse me? Ready for renting?" Ziva asked in shock.

"Yeah. We've run into some problems with the electrical system. The last tenant mentioned the problem when he was moving out."

"The last tenant. Do you mean Timothy McGee?" Ziva asked.

"I wouldn't know. You'd have to ask the apartment complex manager. Check the office. He might still be around."

"Thank you." Tony answered for them and headed back down the stairs with Ziva in his wake.

"Tony? Would McGee move and not tell us?" her partner asked her in surprise.

"I dunno, Ziva. I don't like it, though. It proves one thing, for sure." The Senior Field Agent answered in full Agent mode mixed with a huge dose of worried big brother.

"And what does it prove?"

"That there is definitely something going on with him. I wonder if Gibbs or Abby knows Probie moved?"

"If they do not, would it be wise to worry them, especially Abby while she is on vacation?" Ziva reasoned out.

"No. Of course, we're not gonna bother Abby on her vacation, but, Gibbs needs to know, regardless. 'Never be unreachable'" Tony reminded her.

"Tony, if McGee has not stopped answering his phone, is he not still 'reachable'?"

"Not the same thing, Ziva." Tony answered as they reached the apartment complex office and found that the manager was still there. Both of them breathed a sigh of relief on that stroke of good luck,

After a brief conversation with the man, it was confirmed that Tim McGee had moved out two weekends ago. The manager even went so far as to remark that the move had been extremely fast, as Mr. McGee had hired several teams of people and several trucks to get it done in one day. Apparently, Mr. McGee had been in one hell of a serious hurry to move out, even going so far as to put a stop on all his mail, rather than leave a forwarding address.

Tony and Ziva were now both equally worried. Without so much as a single word spoken, Tony peeled out and hurled them towards the one person who could possibly shed some light on this and help them figure out what to do next. When they reached their destination, it was to find Gibbs just pulling in, himself.

At the screeching tires and squealed brakes, the boss turned to see who was in such an all-fire hurry to get to his house. At the disturbed looks on his agents' faces as they both practically jumped out of Tony's car, his gut twisted even more.

"What's wrong?" he asked them without wasting any time.

"We just found out that Probie moved out of his apartment two weeks ago. Left no forwarding address and hired enough –non profession people to get the move done in 1 day." Tony answered worriedly. "Apartment Complex Manager says no big-name moving company was seen helping get the job done."

Shock hit Gibbs like a tidal wave. He'd not heard anything about this. Pulling out his cell phone, he called his older friend to see what he knew of this. Maybe they could figure things out without pushing McGee to let them in where he obviously didn't want anyone in.

"Hey, Duck, when you talked to McGee last night, did he mention that he moved two weeks ago and left no forwarding address?"

_"What? No, Jethro, he did not. Oh, dear! This is more serious than I thought."_ The M.E. declared in almost palpable distress.

"Ducky, I think it's time you tell me what it is you know." Gibbs strongly requested as he deliberately kept his tone concerned, both for his agent and his older friend.

_"Jethro, I can't do that. Good grief, call the poor boy and talk to him!" _Ducky said as he abruptly ended the call.

Gibbs was left staring at his phone in shock. He couldn't remember a time when Ducky had ever hung up on him like that. Obviously, the M.E. was upset about this on a deeper level than Gibbs had realized. Looking at his agents as they were all still standing in his driveway, he ushered them into his house and issued a request in Ziva's direction. "Call him. Put it on speaker."

As they waited for Tim to pick up his phone, Gibbs opened his fridge and took out 2 bottles of beer for his guests and handed them to them before turning to his coffee pot for a fresh refill.

_"Tim McGee."_ Came the soft answer to the ringing phone on its' third ring.

"McGee. We came by to see you and were told that you have moved." Ziva offered as Tony remained silent and still visibly upset that this had happened under his nose and he hadn't been paying attention.

A deep sigh was heard on Tim's end.

"McGee?" Ziva pushed.

_"Ziva, did you need something? Is that why you were stopping by? And what do you mean, we?" _

Tim's unusual sidestepping of Ziva's question and his resigned tone had Gibbs and Tony exchanging worried looks. This was not a normal McGee response. As Tony opened his mouth to join in the conversation, Gibbs shook his head at him. They wanted McGee to open up, not clam up because he felt ganged up on.

"Tony and I were concerned about you. You have been acting as though something is seriously wrong for the last two weeks and even for weeks before that. We wanted to let you know we are here to listen if you need to talk."

Another deep sigh was heard. This time, when Tim spoke, his tone betrayed emotion he hadn't been showing very openly lately. The pain was there, and so was the break in his voice as he answered. "_Thanks, Both of you, but I can't talk to you about this. I need to talk to …"_

"You need to talk to whom, McGee?" Ziva asked gently.

_"Doesn't matter. Not like I'm going to Can't do that to him."_

"McGee? I am listening. Talk to me. Who is him? And what can you not do to him?"

_"Gibbs. Ziva. I need to talk to Gibbs. But, I can't ask him to do that."_ The pain and sadness vibrating through the young man's voice broke Gibbs' heart.

"I am confused. If you need to talk to him, why can you not do so?" Ziva gently pushed with her genuine confusion.

_"Because, Ziva. I need to talk to him like a…"_

"Go on."

_"Never mind. It doesn't matter. He's never been interested in talking to me, anyway. I'm not gonna expect that to change, just because I need… never mind. Look, Ziva. I appreciate your concern, but I'll be okay. Really."_

"McGee, you have moved with no forwarding address and you are not even attempting to tell us where you have moved to. You speak of needing to talk to Gibbs and refusing to do so at the same time. You have said you will be okay. But you have not said that you are okay, now. Do not make me beg. Talk to me." She pleaded with a touch of firmness.

Tim could be heard taking a deep audible breath and letting it out on a sigh and then trying to clear his throat before he said. _"I'll be right back." _Before he put the phone down.

In the background, they could hear him sniffling and blowing his nose. The sounds of him getting himself a drink of water from his sink, and even the sounds of him swallowing hard, could all be heard and spoke volumes of the lengths he obviously needed to go to pull himself together. This unforeseen and unexpected concern from his team had obviously thrown him off balance.

Before they could comment on it amongst themselves, their teammate was back on the line. _"Look, Ziva. I really appreciate that you're concerned about me. Tony, too. But, I'll be okay."_ Tim said into the phone. _"I have a real early day tomorrow and I need to get some sleep. So, can we talk tomorrow night, maybe?" _her friend asked timidly.

Looking at Gibbs for a silent suggestion, she found him to be nodding his head for her to agree to that, and even though she would have done it regardless, she felt better with the realization that she wasn't the only one to be concerned enough to make sure McGee did not feel ganged up on for this call.

"Certainly, McGee. I will call you tomorrow night."

_"Actually, Ziva. I don't' know when I'll be getting back. So, can I call you?" _

Tim's news that he was actually going somewhere, momentarily threw them all for a loop. Ziva recovered and answered his question. "Certainly. I will speak with you then. McGee, you mention going somewhere, do you need company?"

A long pause on Tim's end of the phone churned their guts and turned the dial up on their joint worry meter but the words he spoke next were obviously intended to chip away at that possible concern. _"No, Ziva. Thank you, but I'll be fine. I'll call you tomorrow night, 'bout this time, all right?"_

"Certainly, McGee. Then maybe you will allow me to take you to dinner, yes?"

_"That would be great, Ziva. Talk to you then. And again, thank you." _Tim answered in the same quiet tone he'd started the conversation in as he ended the call.

Gibbs didn't like Tim's tone. His answers were cause for concern by themselves, but his tone; the break in his voice, the emotion he'd allowed out, even if it had been just for a slip of a minute; all spoke volumes more than his words alone had. _And what was this about him needing to talk to Gibbs but not willing to put him through the pain? What was up with that? Add in Tim's mini-meltdown two nights ago and his walking for hours last night before finally giving up and calling Ducky to talk; and it all spelled serious pain filled trouble for his youngest agent. _

"Boss, I know that look, you think there's something wrong here, too." Tony threw out there.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. But, short of violating his privacy, there's not a hell of a lot we can do about it, except keep in touch with him and keep reminding him, he's not alone, in whatever this is, he's going through, DiNozzo." Gibbs answered in his 'don't argue with me' tone.

"Boss!" Tony objected.

"No, Tony! We're not gonna violate his privacy just so we can get the answers to our questions. It's up to McGee to let us in when we knock. Not gonna go breakin' down his door!"

"And if he is too afraid of causing you pain, to answer your knock?" Ziva asked quietly, reminding them of Tim's words from just a few moments ago.

Gibbs looked at her and silently thought about the point she'd just made. This was, after all, Tim and the young man at the heart of their concern never actively sought out help if he didn't feel he had the right to ask for it. And in this case, he obviously felt he had no such right. It was also obvious, that he needed to talk to Gibbs or he wouldn't have allowed himself to admit as much to Ziva.

"Good thing we know how to pick locks." He answered with a straight face that actually left no doubt that he meant no joke.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Okay, folks. The rating for this story is what it is because from here on, the content requires it._

_So, buckle your seat belts and hang on.  
_

* * *

After sending Tony and Ziva home, with the promise that he'd keep an eye on Tim and stay in touch with the young man, Gibbs headed out – in need of a face to face conversation with his long-time friend who now knew more about his obviously troubled agent, than he did. And while this fact didn't sit well with the Team Leader, it was the fact that the young man was obviously going through something more alone than he needed or even wanted to, that bothered Gibbs the most at the moment. He needed answers and he wasn't gonna settle for any more cryptic crap from Ducky about it.

Briskly knocking on Ducky's door, Gibbs wasn't surprised to find he didn't have long to wait before he was ushered into the older man's kitchen and handed a fresh hot cup of coffee. "You were expecting me." He found himself softening in his anger toward this gentle soul he'd long regarded as a close personal friend.

"Yes, Jethro, I was. I do apologize for hanging up on you so, earlier, but I'm afraid your news rather alarmed me and I wasn't quite myself for a moment." Ducky humbly offered.

"Yeah. I got that, Duck. Talk to me." Gibbs gently pushed.

"Jethro, I cannot violate Timothy's confidence! Surely, you can understand that?" the M.E. was beginning to get upset again at the very idea.

"Ducky. I will not sit here and let something happen to him for the sake of keeping his secrets! You, of all people should understand that!" The Team Leader wasn't about to back down even if he had to upset his friend to get his point across.

"Have you spoken with him?" Ducky asked pointedly as he allowed himself to calm down in the face of the Team Leader's genuine concern for his agent.

"I had Ziva call him. She had him on speaker, but he didn't know it." Gibbs informed him.

"I take it the conversation left too many unanswered questions." Came the M.E.'s observation.

"Ducky, he said he had to talk to me but that he couldn't do that to me. Something about not willing to cause me pain. What the hell's he talkin' about?" Gibbs shared his confusion.

"I'm uncertain, Jethro. We did not discuss his need to talk with you." Ducky answered in return.

"Said something about needing to talk to me like a…but he wouldn't finish the thought."

Ducky's brain slid the pieces together. They slid into place and the picture took shape. In all likelihood knew the answer Jethro was searching for, but he couldn't do anything about it. _He could not violate Timothy's trust in him. If he gave Jethro what he believed to be the answer, Timothy would undoubtedly take that as his trust in Ducky's confidence had been violated But,Jethro had a valid point as well. Timothy's welfare and well-being were not optional sacrifices to be made in the name of that trust._

"Jethro, sit. I shall call him and we will see what we can gather of his well-being. Will that suffice?" Ducky offered in hopes of accomplishing both goals.

"For now." Gibbs relented as he took a seat at the table and waited with bated breath as Ducky hit the speed dial number in his phone for Tim and set his phone where they could both hear the young man through the speaker phone.

_"Hey, Ducky." _Tim quietly answered the phone.

"Timothy, I just received a disturbing phone call from Jethro."

_"About me?"_

"Yes, apparently, your teammates were most concerned about you and attempted to go to your apartment and check on you."

_"And when they found out I moved, they went straight to Gibbs. Great! I'll bet he's really mad at me now!" _Tim lamented.

"Timothy McGee, he is concerned. You do not give him enough credit! I gather you did not inform anyone of this change, young man?" Ducky asked sternly.

_"I told Director Shepherd about it when I handed her my change of address form. I know the Agency has to know where we live, Ducky."_

"Timothy, what about Jethro's rule to never be unreachable?"

_"I'm pretty sure that applies to our cell phones. If it applies to knowing our address, I swear I didn't realize it. Ducky, you know I would never violate one of the boss' rules on purpose!"_

"Timothy, might I suggest you talk to Jethro about this as soon as possible, in the event that this rule did apply to your address as well? We wouldn't want him to think you were in fact deliberately breaking his rule."

_"I guess you're right. Although, if he doesn't know me well enough by now to know I'd never do something like that, I don't…"_

"Rest assured, young man, Jethro does know you that well. I do believe it will be of great service to both of you, just to have that discussion, so that no miscommunication is possible?"

_"Okay. I'll talk to him about it on Monday."_

"Timothy, are you still taking your trip in the morning?"

_"Yeah. Ducky, I have to do this. I have to know."_

"Yes, well, as I said before, I completely understand. Although, I still do not like it that you will not allow any of your teammates to accompany you or even be told where you are going."

_"Ducky, I already explained this to you. I can't do this as an Agent. Can't risk it becoming publicly known either. And I refuse to put anyone else at risk"_

"Yes, well, while I completely understand your motivations, Timothy. I do not like the fact that you are disregarding your own safety in this matter."

_"Ducky, I'll be fine." _

Tim's attempt to pacify the M.E. didn't even settle Gibbs' sudden qualms about the situation. Given that he didn't even know half of what was going on, this was no surprise.

"You will check in with me, every two hours throughout your trip, young man!" Ducky returned in his no-nonsense tone as he steadily held Gibbs' gaze in an effort to assure him that he would keep the young man grounded in physical support complete with a safety line.

As Gibbs' eyebrows marched up to his hairline, Tim's solemn vow came through the phone line

_"Okay. That, I can do."_

"I mean it, Timothy. One missed call and I will have your team track your phone, privacy be damned!"

_"Ducky. I promise you, I will stay in touch. Nothing's gonna happen to me. I'm just gonna drive up there, take care of it, and drive right back."_ Tim vowed.

Yes, well, do not think that I shall sit idly by while you run into trouble! Do not forget, every two hours, young man!"

_"I promise. Ducky?"_

"Yes, Timothy?"

_"Thank you. I can't thank you enough; for talking to me about it last night, for sitting up while I finally slept through a night. You didn't have to do that. Thank you."_

"You needed a good night's sleep. It was as simple as that, young man. And you're quite welcome. You just take care of your business and get back here safely and everything will be fine."

_"I will, Ducky. Thank you." _Tim ended the call.

Gibbs was pacing now, having lost the battle to stay still while having to keep his mouth shut during this call. This was just getting more unsettling by the minute. "This is what you were talking about when you said I needed to stay alert this weekend." He reasoned out loud.

"Yes, Jethro, it is." Ducky admitted sadly.

"And you won't tell me anything more unless he gets himself into trouble. Kinda like too little too late, don'tcha think, Duck?" Gibbs asked with genuine concern.

"Jethro, there is nothing else I can do." His friend reminded him.

"Yeah, okay. I hear ya. But, I don't have to like it."

"I don't like it, either, Jethro. However, I promise you, the minute he is late for his check in call, I will alert you."

"Gonna have to do something more than that, Duck. Damn it! Abby's not here to track his phone. Guess, Tony'll have to do it. I'm puttin' him on standby, just in case. Thanks, Duck. Appreciate you lookin' out for him."

"Of course, Jethro. After all, he is one of us, is he not?"

"Damn right he is." Gibbs answered as he saluted his friend and headed back out. He had a call to make and some things to think about. As he headed to his car, he hit the speed dial number for his Senior Field Agent.

_"Hey, Boss! What's up? We got a case or something?"_

"No, Tony. I need you to be on standby tomorrow. I might need you to come in and track McGee's phone."

_"Track Probie's phone?"_

"Only if you hear from me or Ducky, Tony.

_"Okay. Got it. I'm glad Abby and McGee brushed me up on how to do it so that I'm almost as fast as they are at it."_

"Thanks Tony."

_"Sure thing, Boss. Goodnight."_ Tony replied, even as he heard the boss click off the call. His gut was churning now, but he began to hope with all his might that his gut was wrong.

* * *

_Sat – Dec 16th_

Tim left out early the next morning intent on reaching his destination without any traffic issues. It was gonna be a harrowing enough day as it was. He didn't blame Ducky for being worried. Quite frankly, he was worried, too. Although he couldn't figure out if he was more worried about Gibbs' reaction if he ever found out about this or about something bad happening to him on this trip. Thank goodness the weather was unseasonably mild today.

Getting in was no problem, but as he walked to the visiting room, and was seated at the table waiting for the man to arrive, Tim's heart was in his throat and his breath was becoming ragged as his nerves began to get the best of him. _Man, he wished he could have brought some moral support_. But, no. this was an entirely personal mission and he didn't want to be responsible for anyone else's well-being. So, here he sat, waiting. Impatiently.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the door at the other end of the large visiting room opened and the man in question was escorted in. As the scruffy looking scrap of humanity with cold, uncaring eyes sat down across the table from him, Tim had to wonder if he was doing the right thing. Still, he had come this far, it was much too late to back out now and he damn sure wasn't going back without the answer he'd come for. He'd find some backbone from somewhere down near his boots, and pin it in place if he had to.

"Lucas Martin?" Tim asked, suddenly needing verbal verification that he was talking to the right man.

"Who the hell are you?" the scruffy looking man demanded after watching this neatly dressed young man squirm silently for a long minute.

"Well, from what I've been told, there's a real good chance – that I'm your son, Mr. Martin."

"Yeah? So what? You want something from me because a that?"

"No. I mean. Yes. I'm here to ask if you'd be willing to give me a strand of hair or something that I can use to run a fresh DNA test. The results I've been given are old and I'd really appreciate it if we could run a fresh test – to get valid results with the newer, more capable machinery we have nowadays." Tim explained as he glanced at the man across from him. Internally, he couldn't stop sending up silent thanks that the man wasn't sitting here unguarded. Somehow, Tim felt safer with that knowledge remaining front and center in his mind while he waited for the answer.

"So, you think I'm your ole man, huh?" the unkempt man scoffed.

"That's what I've been told." Tim answered him evasively.

"Well, there's only one way that's possible!" Suddenly, the man's face split into a huge maniacal grin that sent chills up Tim's spine as he reached up and yanked out a patch of his hair and threw it down on the table in front of Tim. "Yeah, you can have your hair for your DNA test. I got nothin' to loose. And you got nothin' to gain! Ain't like you're gonna git nothin' from me if I am you're ole man!"

"I won't be asking for anything more from you – even if you are." Tim nervously tried to placate this monster of a man who was supposedly his father. Internally, he prayed with all his might that all of this had been one huge seemingly endless nightmare that he would soon wake up from.

"Yeah? What name she saddle you with?" Lucas demanded.

"Tim." The NCIS Agent answered almost automatically, as if the boss had asked the question.

"Tim, huh? You got a last name?" Alarmingly, Lucas' question came with a change in demeanor as he became less agitated and began to settle, almost as if he was taking a genuine interest in what he was hearing.

The question from the hardened criminal, along with the marked visible changes in his body language made Tim's skin crawl and it took every ounce of discipline within him for him to answer the man. "Yes. Yes I do. But, that's not important. I really need to head back. It's a long drive. Thank you. I really appreciate your cooperation." Tim got up from the table, scooped up the hair, placed it in a baggie he'd brought with him and turned to leave.

"HEY! Don't cha wanna know what I meant when I said there was only one way you could be my kid?" the man shouted as Tim reached for the door handle.

Tim turned to look at him and waited for the answer he knew he really didn't want to hear.

* * *

Twenty minutes later and shaking with emotions he didn't realize he had or even know what they were, Tim had somehow managed to make it back out to his car and send Ducky a text message. He was too upset to talk to anyone and had no intention of trying. Somehow, after texting Ducky that he was safely on his way home, Tim managed to drive himself safely away from that place and even for another hour, even so far as finding the interstate when he needed it. From seemingly behind a fog, he soon found himself pulling off the interstate and checking into a hotel. Using his book name and not asking for any room service, Tim put the "Do not disturb' sign on the door, and locked himself in before sinking to the floor in pained disbelief and shock.

Ducky checked his watch. Timothy should have called him by now. The last text message had been two hours ago and he was reaching for his phone to call Jethro, when the next text message came through at 5 pm

_Staying overnight at the Interstate Motel – exit 37.  
Going to bed now._

Ducky sighed with relief and called Jethro to update him as to Timothy's plans. After reassuring the younger man that Timothy was indeed safe. Ducky allowed himself to enjoy a quiet evening at home while his mother fell asleep early. Eventually, at nine, he took himself off to bed and even managed to fall asleep without a problem.

Gibbs gut was churning. Something was wrong. But, Ducky had just given him his word that Tim was fine. Not even close to being tired enough to sleep; the Team Leader spent a restless night working on a new boat; something he'd thought he was finished with. The fact that he felt driven to start a new one did not bode well for what the future held.

* * *

_Sun. – Dec. 17th_

Morning found Gibbs still hard at work on his boat, but anxiously listening out for his phone to ring. This being Sunday, he realized Ducky went to church. As he got himself ready to go to his own church service, his gut was still telling him something was off. He'd go talk to the M.E. after church and that was the best he could come up with that would ease his worry enough that he could get through the church service.

As he left the church service, he called Ducky to ask for an update on Tim.

_"Jethro, he sent me another text message 30 minutes ago saying he was home now." _His friend reassured him.

"Yeah?"

_"Yes, Jethro. He's fine."_

"Thanks, Duck." Gibbs offered as ended the call.

Getting into his car, he called Tony and told him that he was no longer needed on alert. He'd called him last night and updated him but had kept him on alert until Tim was back home safe and sound. Although it wasn't his normal way of handling things, he had decided on the course of action knowing that this whole situation was so far away from normal that he'd felt compelled to handle it with caution.

He couldn't help but hope this was one of those times his gut was wrong. Since it hadn't stopped telling him something was off, he couldn't exactly just blow it off. Twenty minutes later, he pulled into the Navy Yard, intent on keeping his mind occupied with something constructive – like work. The urge to work on the boat paled in comparison to the urge to be here on the yard.

Looking at the stack of cold cases, Gibbs let out a deep sigh of frustration and snapped the first one off the stack – opened it up – and got busy delving into it. Before he knew it, it was late. His phone had been silent all day and it was almost nine PM. Where had the time gone? Packing up, he closed up his work station and headed home.

Tim spent the early part of Sunday morning curled up on the hotel bed, not moving, not giving in to the emotions that battled to get out, barely even conscious of breathing; although he hadn't had to struggle with that. No, what he was struggling with; was himself. Of who he suddenly had become and what the hell he was supposed to do about it. He'd worked so hard to bury this within the last few weeks, but now, not only was it was front and center again; but now, it was so devastatingly painful, it was almost paralyzing; because now; it revolved completely around his relationship with his mother; something he'd completely disregarded for the first time in his life; in a moment of blinding anger and sense of betrayal.

The only times he'd forced himself to move was when he had to text Ducky in order to keep him from worrying and when he'd picked himself up off the floor just enough to curl up on the bed. When Housekeeping had come knocking on the door and roused him, he'd finally managed to drag himself up and out and get headed back home.

Driving had given him something to focus on, allowed the rest of what had thrown him completely off balance to be shoved to the back corners of his mind. Despite the now bitterly cold weather that had come back, the snow had held off until now and when he glanced out of the window, he noticed the white dusting that was gradually getting thicker. It was, after all, only six days til Christmas and they'd had a remarkably mild winter until now. Luckily, the roads were not a problem and getting home wasn't a challenge.

When he reached his apartment, he'd somehow managed to text Ducky one last time, before he flopped down on his bed, once again, allowing the nothingness to swallow him up. Time lost all meaning and quickly ate up not only the daylight, but also the night, as Tim sat frozen in the fog, unwilling and unable to move or think outside of it as it completely enveloped him.


	8. Chapter 8

_December 18th_

Monday morning Gibbs arrived at work, hoping that his gut had driven him crazy for nothing. Although he stood by the feelings that usually came with 'his gut feeling', this time, it would seem, he'd been wrong; at least, he hoped so. Getting in early, didn't do anything but stir up the impatience and with nothing to do but get irritated, Gibbs bundled back up and headed out for some fresh coffee that was better than the break room stuff.

By seven-fifteen sharp, Gibbs' gut was seriously twisting up and he took note of the fact that his youngest agent had not arrived yet before checking his email and his phone for any messages.

"Hey, Boss. Seen Probie this morning? He's usually here before me." Tony greeted and expressed worry all at the same time.

"Haven't seen him yet, DiNozzo."

"Who? McGee?" Ziva asked as she came off the elevator and rounded the corner to her desk.

"Yeah. Have you seen him?" Tony asked with rising concern.

"No. His computer is not on and his work area is spotless. His backpack is not here either." Ziva pointed out observantly.

With no sign of Tim, Gibbs ordered Tony to call him and headed to Autopsy to seek out Ducky out so he could get to the bottom of this.

"Ah, good morning, Jethro!" The M.E. celebrated.

"Ducky. McGee's late."

"Oh? And Timothy has never been late without it being due to trouble. The M.E. immediately fell into his pattern of pointing out the crux of Gibbs' concern.

"Given how things have been with him lately and this trip he took on Saturday, it doesn't feel right. When's the last time you heard from him?" Gibbs pushed.

"Oh, I believe it was close to one in the afternoon yesterday. Let me check my phone, Jethro and I can tell you for certain. Ah, here it is, last text message was received by my phone at, yes, I was correct, 12:50 PM yesterday afternoon. It was the one he sent to tell me he was home safe, Jethro."

"Text ? When's the last time you talked to him?"

"I believe that would have been 11 Saturday morning, before he conducted his business; his reason for taking the trip he was on."

"Get DiNozzo to run that trace on his phone." Gibbs ordered as he bolted up to the Director's Office and barged on in.

"Did you need to see me, Agent Gibbs?" Jenny asked with a touch of venom. She was, after all, fed up with Gibbs barging in her office.

"I need to know what McGee's new address is."

"Why?"

"Because he's late and that means he's in trouble."

"Jethro, even the most dedicated agents are allowed to be late once in a while." Director Jenny Shepherd said with a grin.

"Jen, the only time McGee has ever been late was when his sister was in trouble over that trumped up murder charge! Something's been going on with him for a while now and his being late doesn't feel right. I need his address, now!"

Jenny fell back on her long ago learned habit of relying on Gibbs' knowing what he was talking about, especially when he was following his gut instincts and hit the speaker button on her phone. She directed her assistant to come into her office.

Once Cynthia had entered the office, The Director wasted no time in telling her what was needed and within the space of five minutes, Gibbs not only had Tim's address, but he was halfway out the building, hurriedly heading to an agency sedan with GPS capability. Tony had been given the address and was waiting to program it remotely as soon as the car was started. He was grateful that Tim had shown them all how to do that just a month ago.

While Gibbs headed toward Tim's new apartment, his heart was in his throat. It was bad enough that it was the middle of winter and the snow was starting to fall, but on top of that Gibbs was headed somewhere he'd never been before and was dreading this, hoping he wouldn't be too late to deal with whatever the problem was while he floundered through finding the place. The need for help from the GPS only frustrated him, as technology once again flaunted its' superiority at a time when it was less than advisable.

Thankfully, Tony was able to direct him in its' use and get him there without a problem. "Thanks, Tony." He offered as ended the call to him, he shut off the car, noted with satisfaction that Tim's car was sitting there, and headed up to the kid's apartment, his conversation with Ziva and Tony from the other day, ringing in his head:

_"Boss, I know that look, you think there's something wrong here, too."_

_"Yeah. Yeah, I do. But, short of violating his privacy, there's not a hell of a lot we can do about it, except keep in touch with him and keep reminding him, he's not alone, in whatever this is, he's going through, DiNozzo."_

_"Boss!"_

_"No, DiNozzo! We're not gonna violate his privacy just so we can get the answers to our questions. It's up to McGee to let us in when we knock. Not gonna go breakin' down his door!"_

_"And if he is too afraid of causing you pain, to answer your knock?"_

_"Good thing we know how to pick locks."_

Although Gibbs had meant it figuratively at the time, he was soon doing it literally, as a good three minutes of knocking had produced no results, except to drive his gut feeling that something was wrong, through the roof. Once inside, he locked the door behind him and softly stepped through the apartment as he silently searched for clues as to what was going on with his agent. Luckily, he didn't have to look far, although he did have to look twice.

The shock at what he had walked into was that great. What looked like a dumped out backpack and its' contents were strewn across the floor; bunched up pieces of notebook paper and newspaper alike; a file folder half open and its' contents half dumped out of it. All of it littered the floor and sitting smack dab in the middle of the mess was one apparently shell-shocked Tim McGee. Sitting with his back up against his bed as he sightlessly stared off into space, he made for a very disconcerting sight.

Gibbs stepped back out of the bedroom and walked back almost to the apartment door as he made a quick call. "Duck. He's at home. I got him."

_"Thank Goodness! Is he all right?"_

"No, Duck, he's not.


	9. Author's Note of Warning

**Author's Note:**

**I apologise for the delay in posting this story.**

**It is important that this Content Warning be read by all who happen to be following this story, as I do not want there to be any cause for anyone to be caught unawares as to what they'll be reading - giving the story away, aside.**

**This next chapter contains a rather callous discussion (on the part of of the perpetrator) of rape and murder.**

**The next several chapters deal with the emotional fallout of a child of rape - a fictionalized one.  
(I'm not an expert, by any means and don't promise that it's a very good depiction)**

**This is not meant to take those ordeals lightly, by any means.**

**it is a work of fiction - nothing more.**

_**IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE A JUDGEMENT OR A RIDICULE OF ANYONE WHO'S EVER DEALT WITH THE SITUATION DEPICTED IN THIS STORY.**_

_**NO OFFENSE WAS INTENDED.**_

_**I apologise to anyone who finds themselves upset that this warning was not posted at the beginning of the story.**_

_**I felt it would unfairly prejudice the story as a whole, as it is not the focus of it, but rather, a most important underlying factor of it.  
**_

**For those of you who still wish to read the remainder of the story - you might want to bring a box of tissues to this next chapter.**

**And Thank You.**


	10. Chapter 9

_"Is he all right?"  
"No, Duck, he's not. _

_

* * *

_

I got it. Tell the others, will ya? Tell them to work cold cases."

_"Certainly. And Jethro, I am so sorry. "_

"Not your fault, Ducky. Don't worry about it."

_"Jethro. I will I want to come by and check him over before the day is out."_

"I'll get back to you on that."

_"All right. I am glad you have found him, Jethro. I only wish…"_

"No. Ducky. Don't. Let's just figure out where to go from here."

_"Yes, I suppose you're right. Do keep me informed."_

"Will do."

Ending the call, the Team Leader returned to Tim's bedroom with the obviously distraught young man, Gibbs slid down the wall to the floor, so that he was directly opposite Tim and could look directly at him as they spoke; whenever that would be. After waiting for as many as ten minutes for the silence to be broken, for Tim to acknowledge his presence, the end result was no different. Gibbs had to wonder if the young man would even stir if a fire were to break out in his apartment.

Unwilling to let him sit in the state he was in any longer, the boss got himself up off the floor, and grasped his agent under the elbow and pulled him up off the floor. There was no resistance from Tim whatsoever and his eyes remained unfocused and clouded over. Without giving it a second thought, Gibbs propelled Tim out to his living room and gently guided him to the chair and pushed him down into it. Wordlessly, he then headed to the kitchen to make some coffee for the both of them.

Once the coffee was done, Gibbs fixed them both a cup and went back to the living room and set them both down on the far end of the coffee table. Coming back around to where Tim sat, still hiding behind the fog that had overtaken him, and sat down on the coffee table directly in front of him.

"McGee." Starting out with his normal tone of voice, Gibbs found he was still without any results in the matter. Taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out, he readied himself to get stern in order to break through this crap that seemed to have swallowed this kid almost completely. "MCGEE!"

As Tim's eyes finally blinked and shifted, the boss felt a sliver of relief run through him. His relief was short-lived, however, when no further sign of progress was made. "McGee! Talk to me!"

As his stern 'take no prisoner's" tone bounced off the walls and came back to him, Tim suddenly lurched to his feet and plodded his way back to his room, only to come back momentarily with one of the balled up pieces of paper from his bedroom floor in his hand. Silently, he handed the paper to Gibbs and sat back down in his chair.

While completely taken by surprise, Gibbs was also worried. This was just so completely not like the Tim McGee he'd come to know and thought he understood. Keeping an eye on Tim with part of his vision, he applied himself to flattening and uncrinkling the piece of paper. Taking one last glance at his agent, he felt it necessary to ask for permission, even though it had technically been given to him as soon as Tim had handed it to him in the first place.

"McGee. You sure you want me to read this?"

Only the years of making the gesture himself prepared Gibbs for noticing the tiniest of nods that came from his agent at the question he'd just voiced. It was enough. Looking down, Gibbs began to read the paper.

_My dearest Tim:  
First off, let me say, that if you are reading this, then my worst fear has come true and I have left this world before I was ready to be taken from yours and your sister's or your mother's lives._

Gibbs felt like he'd been stabbed in the heart. _McGee's father had died and the kid had told no one? Why would he have gone through that pain and loss alone?_

Looking over at Tim now, he could see tears were beginning to slide their way down his face but still he had yet to let go of that lost look in his eyes. Knowing this young man needed him to read the rest of this, or he would have just told him about it, Gibbs put his eyes back to the paper and took up where he'd left off reading:

_You know I have always loved you deeply and unconditionally. You were my son; despite the fact that you were, in fact, not my son._

Once again, Gibbs was shocked into stillness as he felt his heart wrenched painfully for the young man sitting before him. _Oh, Tim!_ Unable to stop himself, he slid a look of concern and abject sympathy over to the young man, still too self –enclosed to even see it, before returning his eyes and his mind to what he had yet to finish reading.

_Yes, you read it correctly. You were not my child. I loved you as if you were. But, biologic ties were the one thing in life I could not give you. I am so sorry. Your mother and I agreed not to tell you so long as I was alive because my relationship with you was much too precious to me. I also saw no reason to take that away from you._

_Now that I am gone, you deserve to know the truth. With genetic lines and medical history being somewhat important in things these days, the truth needs to be laid out there for you to understand and have the chance to deal with; even if it is hard for you to accept._

_But, now that I am no longer able to be here for you. I fear your mother won't be able to go through with giving you the truth; your true family history. She fears losing you for not telling you sooner._

_Whatever you do, son, please do not let this turn you against your mother. That, I beg of you. That is my final request of you. My last wish. I know I can trust you to do this for me. Keep your relationship with your mother as strong now as it has been all this time. And please continue to take care of your sister, as you always have._

_The enclosed paternity tests are real and accurate. Your real father's name is at the bottom of the paper._

_Always remember, son. I loved you unconditionally. Completely. Always.  
And I have been so proud of you, in everything you have done.  
Dad._

As Gibbs folded the paper up and gently laid it on the table behind him, he kept his eye on Tim to see what he could of what was going through his mind. The young man's eyes usually gave him away but now, they didn't; probably couldn't. Struggling with what to say to him, Gibbs was startled when Tim once again lurched to his feet and once again walked toward his bedroom; but this time, stopped at his computer and clicked twice on the mouse.

Immediately, the screen came back from power save mode and a video played. As Gibbs watched from where he'd come to stand beside Tim, the scene that played out, of his agent talking with someone who wore the universal uniform of a felon behind bars, the boss felt his heart break for Tim even more:

_"Lucas Martin?" Tim asked a scruffy looking man with cold, uncaring eyes, dressed in a prison jumpsuit, sitting across the table from him._

_"Who the hell are you?" the man demanded after watching Tim squirm silently for a long minute._

_"Well, from what I've been told, there's a real good chance – that I'm your son, Mr. Martin."_

_"Yeah? So. What? You want something from me because a that?"_

_"No. I mean. Yes. I'm here to ask if you'd be willing to give me a strand of hair or something that I can use to run a fresh DNA test. The results I've been given are old and I'd really appreciate it if we could run a fresh test –to get valid results with the newer, more capable machinery we have nowadays." Tim explained as he glanced at the man across from him_

_"So, you think I'm your ole man, huh?"_

_"That's what I've been told." Tim answered him evasively._

_"Well, there's only one way that's possible!" Suddenly, the man's face split into a huge maniacal grin. "Yeah, you can have your hair for your DNA test. I got nothin' to loose. And you got nothin' to gain! Ain't like you're gonna git nothin' from me if I am you're ole man!" The prisoner yanks some hair out of his head and tosses it on the table half way between himself and Tim._

_"I won't be asking for anything more from you – even if you are." Tim answers quietly._

_"Yeah? What name she saddle you with?"_

_"Tim."_

_"Tim, huh? You got a last name?"_

_"Yes. Yes I do. But, that's not important. I really need to head back. It's a long drive. Thank you. I really appreciate your cooperation." Tim got up from the table, scooped up the hair and placed it in a baggie he'd brought with him and turned to leave._

_As Tim reaches the door and puts his hand on the door handle, the prisoner yelled out: "HEY! Don't cha wanna know what I meant when I said there was only one way you could be my kid?"_

_Tim turns to look at him, silently waiting..._

_"She was the only one I ever had fun with. And she loved every minute of it no matter how many times she claims she didn't! You should ask her about it sometime."_

_Tim walks back to the table and angrily asks a question... "Are you saying that you raped her?"_

_"Well, seein' how you're here sayin' I'm your pa, I guess that would have to be the answer, now, wouldn't it?"_

_"Wait a minute! The only one? The only one what? You're in here because you've killed 10 women! You're telling me that my mother was supposed to be #11? You tried to kill her?"_

_"Hey! Whatta ya know? The boy's got a brain in that head! Can't very well be my kid, now can ya? If' I had a brain, I wouldn't a gotten caught."_

_"You expect me to believe you only raped one woman out of 11?" Tim's voice was stock full of anger._

_"Well, yeah, she was the only beautiful one outta all of 'em."_

_"Why would you admit to a rape and an attempted murder now?"_

_"Hey, I'm already on death row, what else can they do to me? It aint like I got a whole lotta time left in this joint. I'm sure you already know I got a date with the chair comin' up real soon."_

_"January 15th."_

_"Right. This army of guards is in here to make sure I don't miss that date. You know what? Now that you've reminded me, you've given me something to spend my time remembering; reliving; enjoying, over and over again! Thanks, kid!"_

_Tim turned and headed back toward the door._

_"I tole' ya there was only one way you could be my kid! Didn't say you were gonna like it!" The man shouted as he stood up from the table. Tim was already at the door and froze as he heard the words being spoken more than loud enough for him to hear. "Maybe you'll come back for that date! January 15th, kid. And bring your mother, won't you? I bet she'd love to see me again. I know I'd love to see her. Maybe she'll let me have a quickie with her before I die."_

_Tim left the room, allowing the door to slam behind him as he disappeared out of sight of the camera._

Gibbs clicked the computer mouse and the video froze. He was quick to minimize the screen before he turned away from the computer. As he turned to see where Tim had gone, he found him standing at the window in the living room, looking out at the neighborhood beyond his apartment. With his breaking heart up in his throat, Gibbs took himself over to stand next to Tim, looking at him to see what he could of whatever was rolling through his kid's mind at this point.

This time, Tim's eyes had taken on the look of someone desperate to get away from the pain and as the tears continued to slide down his face, unchecked. Gibbs reacted instinctively, the parental lion within him silently roaring with outrage and hurt for this man whose inner child had just seriously taken a life-altering beating; quickly reaching out, grasping Tim by his shoulders and pulling him into a sympathetic embrace in hopes of grounding him in physical as well as rare emotional support.

That seemed to be all the catalyst Tim had needed as suddenly and silently, he melted into the embrace, his shoulders shaking with the force of his now escaping pain and grief at what he'd just found out about who he really was, Gibbs felt his shirt becoming drenched with the young man's tears. Holding him tight, the older man let it just happen.


	11. Chapter 10

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Tim felt the grief and the pain subside and was able to pull himself back together. Withdrawing silently from the anchor that had held him through the storm, he offered up a weak smile of thanks before silently slipping away and heading into the shower. He'd been given the outlet to get the overwhelming pain and sorrow out and now he could go back to normal life. He had to. It was the only way to get past this.

Gibbs watched the young man's determination take huge strides toward getting back to normal and felt a wash of pride and respect for him. Taking himself to the kitchen, he refreshed his cup of coffee and set Tim's down on the counter by the stove in case he wanted to refresh it when he'd gotten out of the shower. Standing there, letting the sink hold him up, he thought over what he'd just learned; what Tim had apparently just found out about his life; his true parentage. Gibbs couldn't help but wonder with concern if this was going to change what Tim thought of himself and of his family; especially, his mother.

Whatever thoughts were running though the young man's mind, he'd managed to put them away by the time he came out of the shower. Fully dressed and armed with his gear bag and his weapon and id, he stopped at the counter and grabbed a quick refreshed couple of sips of his coffee. Putting the cup down, he turned to his boss.

"Thank you. I'm ready now." Tim's quiet words came out just a touch shaky.

"You sure you're ready to go back to work?" Gibbs double-checked, not wanting Tim to do this because he felt like he had to, but because he wanted to.

"Yes. I have to. I Need to. And I want to." The young man vowed intently.

"Need you to tell me something first," the boss quietly pushed.

"Okay."

"Need you to tell me why you moved without telling anyone or even asking for anyone's help."

"Because of him." Tim said quietly. "I don't want him to be able to ever find me. If no one knows where I live, he can't use them to get to me."

"He's on death row. Scheduled for his 'government sanctioned dirt nap' as Tony puts it, in less than a month. You really think that's something you need to worry about, Tim?" Gibbs asked in surprise.

"I can't help it, Boss. I won't be able to breathe easy until …"

"Okay, want you to promise me that if you ever have a problem with this, you'll let me know."

Tim looked away as he pulled his emotions back under control. Finally, he looked back his boss and nodded as he spoke. "Thanks, Boss."

Patting the younger man on the arm, he moved things along with a touch of compassion. C'mon, let's get going."

The trip down to the car was a quiet one but when they'd gotten in the car and buckled up, without even so much as a question of Tim taking his own car to work, Gibbs started the car and asked Tim the important question.

"McGee. Do you want Ducky to know what's on that video?" Gibbs quietly put out there.

"Yeah. The young man admitted just as quietly. "I just don't wanna have to talk about it."

"Is it on the flash drive?"

"Yeah. Boss, I don't want him to see it while he's at work. Too many chances of it being seen by others or worse, hacked or something."

"Anything else on your mind about this?"

When silence settled between them, Gibbs knew the young man had probably reached the far reaches of his comfort zone. He wouldn't be surprised if he didn't get an answer to his question.

"My mom." Tim answered so quietly, Gibbs almost didn't hear it.

"You talked to her lately?" the older man asked gently, hoping to give Tim the room to let out whatever he needed to about the situation.

"No. Not since the day I went home to sign for all these papers and found that letter from my…. It's been over two weeks." Tim admitted with guilt.

"That why you've been so withdrawn since then?" came the reasoned out question.

"I guess. Didn't mean to be." The younger man apologized.

"Yeah, kinda figured that, McGee. This must have hit you pretty hard when you first read what was in the letter. I can guess that it put a real strain on things between you and your mother." The understanding tone didn't ease Tim's tension like Gibbs had hoped it would,

"Yeah. You could say that. Boss, I can't talk about it right now, please?" Tim was suddenly practically begging.

"Okay. If you find that you do wanna talk, whenever you need to, my door's always open, Tim." Gibbs reminded him with compassion.

"Thanks, Boss. That means a lot to me." Tim offered his own brand of gratitude for the rare verbalized offer.

"You all right now? With putting it away enough to work?"

"I'm okay. Thank you. Really." Tim promised.

"Yeah?" Gibbs double checked.

"Yeah." The young man vowed.

"Okay."

Arriving at work, Tim headed straight for his desk as he greeted his co-workers and started up his computer. Taking a minute to smile at Ziva, he noticed she appeared to be less than happy with him. He had broken a dinner arrangement with her, hadn't he? Yeah, he needed to fix that. Getting up from his chair he walked over to her desk.

"Ziva. I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you, please? Can we have dinner tonight?" Tim offered with genuine remorse and hope.

"I forgive you, McGee. Unfortunately, I have plans for tonight. Maybe some other time?" Ziva assured him even though she had to refuse his idea.

"Yeah, Okay. Thanks for forgiving me." Tim felt somewhat deflated and not quite sure of her acceptance of his apology.

"That is what friends do, yes?" she answered him with complete seriousness.

"I still appreciate it a lot, Ziva. Thanks." He answered with a genuine smile of relief and gratitude.

Ziva smiled at him and returned her attention to her work, hoping he'd drop the issue before he made it any bigger and return to his own desk.

Tim did just that, turning to go back to his own desk, only to be brought up short when he found Tony blocking his path.

"McGoo, you all right?"

"Yeah, Tony. I'm okay. Thanks." Tim offered genuinely as he took in the Senior Field Agent's concern.

"Hey, let's go have a drink after work tonight!" Tony threw out the suggestion with enthusiasm.

Tim looked at him for a long silent minute, wondering if he was seriously asking as a friend or pulling his leg as a prankster. Remembering that both he and Ziva had been legitimately worried about him over the weekend, Tim relished the invitation. "Sure, Tony, that would actually be kinda nice. Thanks,"

"Sure thing McGoo. You're buyin' right?" Tony goaded with a grin.

"Yeah, Tony, I'm buyin'." Tim gave back with a smile of his own, happy to pay this small price for the company and friendship.

As they all three got busy into their work, Gibbs returned to the squad room and found himself relishing the sights and sounds of his full team at work like any other normal day. He knew normal wasn't in the cards for Tim where his personal life was concerned, at least, not for the moment, but at least the kid was doing his damnedest to find normal where he could; in this case, at work.

Apparently, all he'd needed was someone lead him out of the fog and give him the okay to let it all out. Being there for that and watching him pull himself back together was not something Gibbs would likely forget anytime soon. If anything, it raised the young man up in Gibbs' sights. Still, he planned on keeping an eye on him, in case he needed more help that he wasn't comfortable asking for, like he'd needed today. Hell, he should have had the help this past weekend, but had been so hell bent on protecting everyone else around him, he'd let his own needs be ignored, almost to the point where his mind had gone into shock, it had seemed.

Oddly enough, the day passed quickly, as they progressed slowly through leads and theories with the cold cases they were each going through. Before they even realized it, night had fallen and it was already almost seven. Gibbs looked around at his still working team and smiled to himself, quick to hide it behind his coffee cup. Suddenly feeling generous, he sounded the call.

"Go home!"

Sighs of relief filled the air followed closely by the sounds of computers being keyed into quiet for the night, drawers being closed after supplies had been tucked away; and zippers being pulled after belongings had been stashed back inside the backpacks. Almost in tandem, his three agents rounded their desks and bid Gibbs goodnight before heading to the elevator.

Gibbs couldn't hold back the smile at that sight, after the horrendous start to the day, Tim had had. That smile, though, was quickly followed by a sense of alarm that what had plagued the young man earlier would most likely haunt his dreams tonight, but there was little Gibbs could do about it. _Or was there?_

By the time, Gibbs had that thought; the elevator had swallowed the team and taken them down toward their destination of the parking garage. Gibbs decided to try to meet them before they left and actually succeeded in getting to the bottom of the stairs and out into the parking garage in time to meet up with his baffled team. The looks on their faces almost made the trip worth it just for that.

"Boss?"  
"Boss?"  
"Gibbs?"

"Heard you were gonna go grab a drink?"

"Well, uhm, yeah. We were. That a problem, Boss?" Tony asked in surprise.

"Nope. Just want you to promise me somethin'."

"Not to get wasted, I know, Boss. I promise, we're just gonna get 1 drink." Tony vowed.

"Tony. Just call me if you need a ride home. Got it?" Gibbs directed.

"Boss?" Tony asked in shock.

"You do have me on speed dial?" Gibbs asked pointedly.

"Um, yeah. Boss. Of course I do. We all do." His Senior Field Agent reminded him.

"Right. Hell of a lot easier to hit a speed dial number when you're not thinkin' straight than to have to call for a cab, don'tcha think, DiNozzo?"

"Oh, right!" Tony exclaimed as if that slice of common sense had already occurred to him.

"On second thought, since you're gonna go drinkin' on a week night and you have to actually work tomorrow; get your asses over to my house when you're ready to call it a night. That way I don't have to worry about whether or not you wrapped yourselves around a tree or if you're gonna show up to work in the morning."

Tim couldn't help but grin at Gibbs' attempt to safeguard his flock even while letting them go out and have a little fun. "Thanks, Boss." He answered for him and Tony both.

"Um, yeah, Thanks, Boss." Tony finally found his voice and remembered his manners. "C'mon, Probster, Let's blow this pop-stand!"

Tim chuckled as he got into Tony's car and fastened his seat belt. _Maybe this would be an okay night after all._

_

* * *

_

"So, Probie-wan Kenobi, spill the beans! What happened to you this morning?" Tony asked with his best puppy-dog expression, usually guaranteed to get him the answer he sought from whomever the helpless victim of his charm happened to be when he used it.

Of course, it didn't hurt that, three hours later, he'd somehow gotten Tim to drink enough beer that he was now about two and a half sheets to the wind, while, Tony, himself , had had almost none. After all, tonight hadn't been about having a drinking contest; no, it had been, for Tony, at least, about getting Tim to loosen up and let some fun into his life; as well as let his big brother and friend into what was going on with him. He watched as Tim tried to focus on him and reached out to steady his Probie as he swayed slightly in the sear.

"Wha...wut...wutt…" Tim frowned as his mouth struggled to enunciate his slurred, tripped words. He raised his hand slightly and gestured as he tried again. "Wha…t r u…u… tal...talkn 'bout?"

"C'mon, Probie. You were late comin' to work today and you only came in when Gibbs went to get you. So, spill it, what's goin' on with you?"

"d...n't w…wwanna tal...lk bout…it…" The younger man answered with a frown on his face.

"Talk about what, Tim?" Tony asked gently.

"No! Not. Ta...talkn...bout...dad...dyn…T...ny"

Tony frowned at his friend and realized that he'd probably made a mistake letting Tim get this drunk and pushing him to talk like this. He was barely coherent and the fact that he was swaying where he sat made the Senior Field Agent cringe.

"Okay, man. You don't have to." Tony was quick to reassure his friend even as he hid his shock at what Tim had just said without realizing it. "You ready to call it a night?"

"go…ta… talk...to mom…T...ony...nt...talk...er...in...2 ...eeks." Tim slurred as he slid out of the chair and almost landed in the floor when his knees buckled.

Tony hurried over to him and pulled Tim's arm over his shoulder to hold him up so that he could start helping him to the door. It was hard though and Tony ended up practically carrying his friend as the alcohol took hold more and more; it was worse once the fresh air hit though, and he felt Tim's head loll onto his shoulder as he soon started to feel like dead weight.

The two of them somehow managed to make it out to Tony's car and after loading Tim into the passenger seat and buckling him in, the Senior Field Agent quickly got in the driver's side and started up the engine, determined more than ever to get his teammate home to the boss. _Gibbs is so gonna kill me for this. One drink, huh? Great, just great!_

"Can't….." Tim started to say but stopped and groaned.

"Can't what, McGee. You feel sick?" Tony started to pull over to the side but once look at Tim told him that he wasn't quite at the puking your toenails stage just yet.

"Huh? N...no. Can't b…leve…Dad….not...my…fathr…eally…urts." Tim mumbled as his head lolled against the back of the seat and his eyes finally closed.

Tony's gut clenched. _Oh shit. He was in some serious hot water now. With his luck, Tim would remember every bit of this night and this conversation and never speak to him again. Jeez, DiNozzo, you and your macho plans to sneak your way in to what's going on with him when he won't let you in on his own. You should have listened to Gibbs on this, man! _He took a deep breath and slowly let it out and then found himself doing that for the entire drive over to Gibbs' house. _Man, Gibbs' is gonna be pissed when he sees Tim like this!_

Sure enough, the boss was at the car almost before Tony had put it in park. As he bent down and peered inside, catching sight of his greatly inebriated agent in the passenger seat, Gibbs' eyes nearly snapped with anger as he glared at Tony. "This is what you call one drink, DiNozzo? How the hell's he supposed to function at work in the morning?"

"I'm sorry, Boss. I just wanted him to loosen up a bit."

"Yeah? Well, I'd say 'mission accomplished, there, DiNozzo, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah." Tony said meekly as he came around the car and helped the boss get Tim inside and over to the couch. The lingering silence between the two that were sober now fraught with anger and disappointment as well as regret.

"Settle him in, DiNozzo. Blanket and pillow are in the chair. Make sure you leave the lamp on. Don't want him breakin' his neck if he gets up in the middle of the night. Oh, and don't forget the aspirin and the glass of water. Put it where he'll be sure to see it. Same thing with the garbage can by the table." Gibbs ordered before heading back downstairs to the basement.

Smirking at being able to order Tony into taking care of the now passed out McGee, the boss waited silently to listen for Tony's next move.

"Right. Thanks, Boss." Tony answered to the now empty air between himself and the boss. _Smooth, DiNozzo, real smooth. Now, they're both gonna be pissed at ya in the morning! Ha! Who am I kidding? A blind man can tell Gibbs is super pissed with me now, the hell with in the morning!_

Tony took Tim's shoes off and maneuvered his legs onto the couch. He was surprised at how heavy Tim really was now that the alcohol had taken hold, something that wasn't helped by the fact that the kid had passed out cold, leaving his limbs leaden and difficult to move. After lifting his friend's head and stuffing the pillow under it, Tony laid the light blanket over him, and set things up so that Tim had easy access to the things that he might need if he woke up. Once the water was sitting on the table where Tim could see it, Tony let out a sigh of frustration.

"Crap, Probie. You're gonna feel this in the morning. Sorry, Man." Tony offered even though his apology no doubt, fell on deaf ears.

Suddenly, sleep seemed like an alien concept, one that seemed to have taken a hike to somewhere out in the galaxy beyond here, not to be found tonight. Kicking off his shoes, he slipped down the basement stairs and sat himself down on the fifth step from the top so that he could watch as Gibbs planed a piece of wood to perfection.

Watching Gibbs build things, slowly and with purpose with complete calm and precision, was strangely soothing and Tony couldn't help but envy the guy; not for the pain he'd lived through; but for the ability to find peace of mind amidst the chaos around him in something as simple as woodwork.

"Somethin' on your mind, DiNozzo?" Gibbs' calm yet obviously still unhappy voice broke through his reverie and Tony nodded.

"Boss, I'm sorry. I know I told you we were only gonna have 1 drink… but then I got to thinkin' and…"

"And you wanted McGee to talk about what's goin' on with him and the only way he was gonna do that was if he was sloshed and plied with the right questions."

"Well, yeah. It sounds so not nice when you put it like that, Boss."

"Well, Tony, it wasn't nice. Did it get ya what you wanted?" The Boss' voice was neutral, calm and collected which served Tony with another dose of shame. Somehow, the underlying disappointment was so much worse than being reamed out by the man he had long ago adopted as a father figure.

"Kinda." Tony admitted with shame.

Gibbs' eyes snapped over to his agent, concerned for what Tim might have let slip out while inebriated and not in complete control of his thoughts or what came out of his mouth. The boss knew that Tim would be devastated if any of his private hell came out while he was unable to think clearly for himself. Taking a deliberately deep breath, he let it out slowly; determined to calm himself down before he gave away more than he needed to, himself.

"Just spit it out, DiNozzo. If you got what you wanted, what's the problem?"

"Boss, did you know Probie's father died?"

"That what you managed to get out of him tonight?" Gibbs asked in as neutral a voice as he could manage as he deliberately dodged the question. What he did or didn't know did not need to become ammunition for Tony to use against Tim. Egos were funny that way. The last thing McGee needed was for Tony to get pissed at him for not being let in on something so huge in his personal life.

"Yeah. From the way he said it, it must have been recently. He said something about his father not being his dad, too." Tony shared with sadness "Apparently, it was a shock to him. I think he's might have just found that out or something. He's definitely still hurting from that revelation."

"Sounds like you got a lot out of him, DiNozzo. You get enough food for your jokes at his expense now?" Gibbs couldn't help but push to make sure he could see exactly where Tony's head was at with this new information.

"No, Boss! I wouldn't… won't!" Tony objected to the boss even thinking he'd do something like that.

"Yeah?" the boss couldn't keep the tinge of disbelief out of his voice. He wasn't convinced just yet. Joking and jibing at McGee's expense was a mainstay of Tony's daily existence and no one could expect him to change overnight, especially someone like Gibbs; who was as stubborn and resistant to change as they came.

"Honest, Boss." The younger man promised.

"You manage to stop yourself, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked as a way of turning the conversational tide where he wanted it to go.

"Stop myself?" Tony was confused enough that he couldn't hide it.

"From digging any deeper after you heard what you did?" Came the clarification Tony needed.

"Um, yeah, but Probie kept talkin' on his own after that." Tony admitted regretfully.

"I'm sure that didn't surprise you. And?" Gibbs pushed, unwilling to drop this until he heard everything that had been said by his struggling agent.

"And what, Boss?" Tony asked, confused once again.

"And what else did he say that's buggin' you? Somethin' is or you wouldn't've brought it up."

"Yeah, you're right. He said he needed to talk to his mom 'cause he hasn't talked to her in two weeks. Boss, that's how long he's been acting like something's wrong. You don't think…?"

"No, Tony. Don't think. It's not your place to play 20 questions with whatever's going on his private life. If he'd wanted you to know, he'd have told you himself. His privacy gets invaded enough at work as it is." Gibbs reminded his senior field agent of that fact since they both knew Tony; himself was the biggest culprit of violating Tim's privacy at work.

"I know, Boss. I promise, I'll try to stop."

"You'll do more than that, DiNozzo. Unless he specifically asks you what he said tonight; you don't repeat a word of it! Understand?"

"Yeah. Sure, Boss. No, I wouldn't. I promise, I won't."

"Yeah, well, I'm gonna hold you to it so don't you forget it. Now, go on, hit the hay. It's late."

"Okay. Night, Boss. And I really am sorry."

"I know, DiNozzo, I know."


	12. Chapter 11

_Tuesday before Christmas – December 19th_

Daylight was boring a hole through his eyelids and burning his eyeballs where they rested. His head had leased a serious amount of space to Woody Woodpecker and his whole damn family, but that only meant one thing; he was awake. He was awake and in hell. Tim took a moment to try to think through the pain that had taken up residence behind his eyes and the upset stomach trying to stage a revolt, and worked on figuring out where he was since everything felt unfamiliar to him; even the glare of the sun on his face before he'd even opened his eyes. His stomach churned even more, but somehow, Tim managed to force the nausea back enough that he didn't lose that battle.

The cushions under his body felt too firm and unyielding, not like his own bed or couch at all and the blanket that covered him wasn't his. He could tell that by the texture of it, not to mention it smelled like sawdust. **Sawdust! Oh, crap! Gibbs!**

Groaning, he turned his head toward the back of the couch and brought the blanket further up over his head to hide from the light. Damn it, the boss had ordered them not to get drunk last night, and what did Tim do; get plastered! _Why the hell did he listen to DiNozzo, any way? "C'mon, McDrag, live a little; have a beer!" A beer! Yeah, right! Last time he'd ever go out with Tony, that's for sure!_

As the pain in his head intensified with the guilt and worry that was steadily building in his mind about what Gibbs was gonna do or say about this; Tim couldn't stop the groan that escaped his lips. Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder and a calm, quiet voice close by.

"C'mon, McGee. Let's get you up and movin'; only way to deal with the hangover."

Tim's eyes popped open in shock. _Gibbs? What; no anger, no censure? What the heck was going on?_ Not wanting to spoil a good thing while he had it, he sat up as quickly as his protesting body allowed; which, truth be told, wasn't very fast at all. But, with extra hands supporting him in the shoulders, he was able to sit up, even if it was just to flop back sideways against the back of the couch like a dead fish, his stomach, once again pushing to win the war on the revolt it so desperately wanted.

"Hey, c'mon, swing your legs over here and keep moving." The boss requested firmly but still quietly.

"Okay." Tim answered back, feeling the need to show some gratitude and respect. "Sorry, Boss."

"Can you stand?" Gibbs pushed past Tim's apology, not wanting to focus on it and not wanting Tim to either.

"Not sure." Tim admitted meekly.

"Stay there for a minute." The boss told him as he left the room. When he came back a minute later, it was, surprisingly enough, with Tony on his heels. "All right, McGee, let Tony help you get in the shower."

"Okay, Boss." Tim answered back with a wave of humiliation.

"Hey, Probie. How's the head and the gut?" Tony asked with genuine concern.

"Tony, don't ever let me go out drinking with you again." Tim moaned.

"Yeah, About that, McGoo. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have let you drink so much. Here we go, one step at a time, that's it. All right. C'mon, bathroom's down the hall. Don't even think of getting sick til we get there!" Tony encouraged him to keep going toward the stairs in the hallway with seriousness and concern mixed in with the warning.

"Who are you and what have you done with Tony?" Tim croaked out skeptically even as Tony held him while they walked.

"Ha! Funny, McCranky. C'mon! Let's go. The shower's calling your name. Let's get you there." Tony gave back without any bite.

"Yeah, Yeah, Yeah." Tim muttered as they started up the stairs.

Gibbs had to work hard to smother his laughter. Making sure to stay in the living room, he took a minute to regain his straight face. Looking at the pile of blanket on his couch, he grinned; oh yeah, making this point with Tony should prove interesting. His Senior Field Agent was gonna have a busy day, that was for sure.

Heading into the kitchen, he dished up three plates of scrambled eggs and sausage, put them in the oven to keep warm, and sat down with his cup of coffee to catch a minute of peace. He was still disappointed in his Senior Field Agent; but he had more important things to worry about at the moment.

He'd given Ducky the flash drive last night that Tim had said he wanted the M.,E. to see. They'd watched it at Ducky's since Gibbs had decided that he was going to be there to be a shoulder or an ear that Ducky might need once he'd seen what was on there.

Sure enough, the older man had been very upset, although whether he was more upset that he'd allowed himself to not override Tim's insistence that he could make that drive; talk to that man and drive himself back without problem or incident. Or at what Tim had gone through in talking with that man who was supposedly the young man's father; Gibbs didn't know. What he did know, was Ducky would be watching Tim a lot more closely now; they both would.

It wasn't long before both boys trudged back into the kitchen, ready for whatever hell the boss was gonna throw at them. Looking at Tim, Gibbs offered a small smile to calm the kid's nerves. It was a wonder he'd made it to the bathroom without getting sick to his stomach, as drunk as he'd appeared to be last night. "Sit." The boss quietly instructed his younger agent. "Tony, bring the plates out of the oven, will ya? And get McGee something to drink."

"Sure, Boss." Tony replied with surprise. Gibbs didn't seem too ticked off this morning. The fact that the two of them had been up for two hours before McGee woke up and had not spoken to each other in that time; did little to sway Tony's fear that something big was gonna fall on his head for last night. Obviously, whatever it was; wasn't gonna be before breakfast. That thought only served to further unnerve Tony. Spending two hours staring out at the backyard while the boss must have read every word of his newspaper, had been bad enough of a start to the morning. This uncertainty wasn't helping.

While Tim attempted to eat and the other two enjoyed their breakfast, peace and quiet returned to their midst. After they'd finished eating, Tim took himself to the sink and started washing dishes, for lack of anything else to do with himself and the need to be doing something besides thinking. Thankfully, the pain in his head had eased off enough, as had his stomach, that he was almost feeling normal again. Gibbs smirked at the look of astonishment that was now sitting on Tony's face as he observed Tim washing the dishes.

"DiNozzo, with me." Gibbs ordered in the tone that no one argued with. As he led the way to the living room, he could almost feel the worry dripping off his agent. "Relax, Tony. I'm not gonna bite. I'm not even gonna growl."

"Yeah?" Tony double checked.

"Yeah. I'm just gonna keep you so busy today, you're not gonna have time to even think about going out after work tonight. "Starting now; clean it up." Gibbs told him as he pointed to the mess from having Tim sleep on the couch, before grinning at him and leaving him to go refill his coffee.

When the boss got back to the kitchen, he found Tim sitting at the table nursing a glass of ice water, his expression lost and worried.

"Hey. Talk to me. What's going through that head of yours?" Gibbs asked him as he stepped over to the coffee pot and refilled his mug. Silence met his question and it wasn't until he turned and took a seat at the table and looked the young man square on; that he realized why. Tim was no longer staring into space, but rather, down at his water, his hands wrapped around the glass so tight, it looked to be in danger of shattering.

"McGee." Gibbs tried again to get Tim's attention to focus on the question.

"Boss, I'm sorry. I never should have had that much to drink." Tim offered with much more remorse than was necessary.

"McGee. It's done. It's over. Let it go."

"But, Tony…"

"Needs a little reminder of what it means to be the one trusted to look out for his teammates."

"Boss, I…"

"McGee, I wanna know how you're doin'. In here." Gibbs pointed to Tim's head

"Okay. I guess. Haven't really had a chance to think about much this morning."

"Yeah? Okay, you ready to head in?"

"Yeah. What about Tony?"

"Oh, don't worry about DiNozzo. He's comin' too. DiNozzo! Get a move on! We're leavin'!"

"Comin', Boss." Tony said loudly so his voice would reach Gibbs before he did, even as he headed back toward the kitchen. Being told to clean the living room up wasn't as bad as he'd expected it to be. _Thank God, Probie hadn't gotten sick while he was drunk! He'd dodged a bullet on that one!_

Once at work, things settled down to normal with any further disturbance. The one big difference was that anytime there was any running to do; be it out for coffee or down to Ducky for a report or to the lab for an update on evidence for any of the cold cases they were still ploughing through; Tony had to make the trip. While Gibbs fought hard to hide his grin behind his coffee cup a time or two, Ziva didn't even try to hide hers. When Tony returned from the fourth such errand, she had to ask.

"Tony? Just what did you do that landed you in the dog house with Gibbs?"

Gibbs' eyes snapped up and he looked at Tony with amusement as he waited to hear his Senior Field Agent's answer. Tim, on the other hand, seemed to shrink a little more into himself, as if shouldering even more guilt for Tony's plight than what he'd tried to own up to at breakfast. The boss noticed his youngest agent's demeanor and made a mental note to do something about it before too much longer.

"Nuthin' I'm gonna tell you about, Ziva." Tony whined as he plopped back down in his seat and got back to work.

Gibbs shook his head in a silent moment of mirth and got back into his own work. He'd let Tony have that one. If the guy didn't want to tell Ziva, he didn't have to. Ziva was smart enough to figure it out for herself anyway. It was going to be interesting to see what she'd do once she did find out about it.

By the time lunchtime had rolled around, the Senior Field Agent felt so bedraggled, he doubted he'd be going out after work for the next week! _Message received; don't get Probie drunk after the boss tells you not to!_

"Tony! Let me buy you lunch." Ziva offered with a genuine smile.

_Oh, I am so dead._ Tony thought as he followed her out, knowing at this point, to argue with her or turn her down would only fuel her fire worse.

Once Tony and Ziva had gone from the squad room, Gibbs stopped working and looked over at Tim. The young man was reading through a file, his expression thoughtful and intense. Not wanting to disturb him while he was actually working and apparently staying pretty damn focused; Gibbs got up and headed to the back stairs. When he reached Autopsy, he watched with a rueful smile at Jimmy's lightening quick disappearing act. They really needed to get that kid to settle down and quit being so scared of him all the time.

"Jethro, what brings you down here? It wouldn't be Anthony's shenanigans from last night would it, by any chance?"

"Ducky, you free for dinner tonight?"

"I can be. What's the occasion?"

"McGee."

"I see. Well, certainly, I shall join you. I would like the chance to see for myself just how that young man is doing."

"Yeah, I figured as much."

"May I ask why you're concerned about him?" Ducky wondered aloud.

"C'mon, Ducky. You know damn well why. There's no way, I'm gonna not check up on him, after the bombshells he's been given lately. Especially with the holidays comin' up."

"Jethro, what is it you really want to check up on with Timothy?"

"He needs to talk to his mother, Duck. He wants to. But, there's something holdin' him back and we need to figure out what it is and help him fix it."

"Jethro, this is certainly not like you at all! Whatever has come over you?"

"Ducky. It's almost Christmas. McGee doesn't deserve to be estranged from his family on Christmas, especially not so soon after losing the man he'd grown up believing was his father all his life. You really think I'm just gonna sit back and watch that happen?"

"Ah, so this year, your focus is on Timothy." Ducky reasoned out with a smile. "You may very well be on to something there, Jethro. Perhaps we should discuss this with him and see just what we can do to help."

"Good. See you at seven, Duck." Gibbs replied as he turned and left Autopsy.

Tim managed to make it through half of the afternoon without even thinking for a minute, about anything other than work, with the exception of the bad day Tony was having on account of Tim's getting drunk last night. He hated that Tony was being punished for what was essentially, Tim's actions. Tim always hated it when the shoe was on the other foot and he paid the price for someone else; and this time was no different. It still felt terrible. He wished Gibbs would just let it go. It didn't feel right that Tim was being let off the hook while Tony was left dangling on it.

Three in the afternoon had come before too long and Gibbs had been watching Tim become increasingly upset as the day went on. Although, it didn't appear that the young man was fighting with himself on any emotional level, but, rather, reacting a little more as the day went on, to the way Gibbs was still having Tony paying the piper. Knowing McGee, the kid was probably thinking he should be the one being run ragged and not Tony. _Well, maybe it was time to call it done and move on_

"Tony, go take a break. Take McGee with ya."

"Boss?" Tony asked in shock.

"You'd rather stay here and work?" the Team Leader asked dryly.

"Uhm, No, Boss. I'd love to take a break." The younger man answered without further delay.

Tim sent the boss a small smile of thanks, which Gibbs knew was more for letting Tony off the hook than for giving Tim the break; as he got up from his desk and followed Tony to the back elevator.

"Tony, let's go get coffee." Tim suggested. "My treat."

"Yeah? Thanks, Probie." Tony replied with a smile.

"Tony." Tim began as the elevator took them down to the front entrance, "I'm really sorry Gibbs is riding you so hard about last night. I don't know why he's not doing me the same way. I feel really bad about this."

"Hey, McGoo. Don't sweat it, all right? I get it. Gibbs is pissed at me because I didn't keep my word. I broke my promise that neither one of us would get drunk."

"But, I'm the one who got drunk, Tony. Not you. Last time I checked, I'm responsible for what I do, not you."

"McGoo, you know how Gibbs' mind works. I was the ring leader of us going out last night and I made him a promise, as that ring leader and I didn't keep the promise. Simple as that. Stop worryin' about it. I'm cool with it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Now, c'mon, let's talk about Christmas. You got plans?"

"No." Tim clammed up and burrowed deeper into his coat to ward off the freezing temperature. He was definitely unwilling to talk about the fact that he couldn't go home for Christmas and probably wouldn't even be able to wish his mother and sister a Merry Christmas. _He damn sure couldn't wish his father one. Oh, God! Dad! No! Stop thinking about it! Don't give into it! Refocus, Now!_

"What about you, Tony? What are you doing for Christmas?" Tim asked quietly as he gave the conversation a directional push away from himself.

"Never have any plans for the holidays".Tony quietly reminded him.

"I'm sorry, Tony. You're welcome to ride it out with me, if you want. We could do a movie marathon or something – so long it we don't turn it into a drinking fest, it would be kinda fun." Tim offered with a small smile.

"I'll think about it, Probie. I'm used to flyin' solo for holidays." Tony explained so Tim wouldn't feel like he'd been given the cold shoulder.

"Yeah. Okay. C'mon, let's get that coffee."


	13. Chapter 12

_A/N - WARNING: More exploration of Tim's response to his newly discovered parentage.  
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Six that night found Tim being driven back to the boss' house, presumably for dinner before getting a ride home. When Gibbs had issued the request while Tony and Ziva had been out to lunch earlier in the day, Tim hadn't thought much of it; his mind so wrapped up the searches he'd been running all morning and the cold cases at hand. But, now, enroute to said dinner, Tim's mind was screaming that something was up and he had no clue what it could be. When he glanced at his boss, seeing the man's profile as he drove toward his house, Tim saw only concentration and seriousness.

"Something on your mind?" Gibbs asked.

"No." Tim said quickly and looked back out his passenger window while the world outside flew by.

"McGee. Just spit it out." The boss told him in frustration.

"Boss?"

"Something's botherin' you. What is it?" Gibbs asked him.

"Nothing important." Tim conceded quietly rather than admit what he was worried about.

Gibbs closed his mouth; unwilling to push; yet. The time for pushing issues would come when Ducky was there to help him do it in the most constructive way possible. Choosing to try to lessen the young man's fears, the boss changed the subject. "Steak sound good to you?"

"Sounds great." Tim answered without delay or doubt but plenty of surprise in his voice.

Gibbs chuckled. "Yeah, it does, doesn't it?"

Once at the house, the two of them set about getting dinner ready, with Tim offering to make the salad and prep the potatoes and dinner rolls while Gibbs tenderized the steaks and heated up the oven. It wasn't long before everything that needed to be done for dinner, had been done and all that was left was the waiting for the food to cook. As they cleaned up their mess from the food preparations, Gibbs' phone rang.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

_"Jethro, I'm afraid, I won't be able to make it in time for dinner. I should be able to arrive a little after 7:30, if that's all right?"_ Ducky offered.

"Everything all right, Duck?" the Team Leader asked in concern.

_"Oh, yes, everything's fine. I'm simply running behind schedule,"_

"This wouldn't be deliberate now, would it, Duck?" Gibbs asked with a smirk.

_"Absolutely not, Jethro, why ever would you think such a thing?" _Ducky asked in mock outrage.

"Yeah. Thought so. All right. See you when you get here, Duck." Gibbs let his friend off the hook and turned to look after the steaks in the oven.

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Tim sat lost in his thoughts as he stood bundled up against the cold, at the fence that bordered the rear of Gibbs' yard. When the boss' phone had rung, he'd quietly walked away from the room, not wanting to eavesdrop on the conversation. For some reason, he'd been drawn to the backyard, despite the bitter cold. Now that he was off the clock, his mind seemed determined to take a stroll down the memory lane of the last eight weeks. Losing the man who had long been the most important person in his world had devastated him and not being able to lean on anyone as he struggled to deal with keeping his grief at bay so he could do his job, had been one of the most difficult period of his life. Looking back, Tim couldn't even remember how he'd done it.

Now that Gibbs wanted in, wanted to help; Tim was so close to letting him in completely, it scared him He and Gibbs had never had anything that even resembled a normal relationship. That privilege of having that kind of relationship with the boss had always belonged to Tony. What would happen to his working relationship with Gibbs if Tim did let him in; let him help him wade through this mess? Would he be able to maintain enough distance to keep working for the man he'd long considered to be his surrogate father now that his real one was gone; biology not included?

After the way Gibbs had shockingly slid in behind Tim's wall of defense yesterday, when the young man had been in shock and at his most vulnerable, there was little doubt in Tim's mind that the older man was capable and willing to help him in whatever way was needed. Maybe Gibbs was just the person Tim needed to talk to.

Ducky was great, too, but there was only so much Tim was willing to dump on the elder man. The M.E.'s ability to psycho-analyze everyone; most of the time, in a very helpful way, helped Tim realize that Ducky had been the best person to talk to in the beginning and probably still was, but in all honesty, there was only so much Ducky could help him with.

The biggest problem in Tim's mind was the way he'd treated his mother. Now that he knew much more of the truth behind his parentage, the guilt was beginning to overwhelm him. Having been raised to be a gentleman, it had taken a wealth of pain, anger and sense of betrayal for him to have reacted to her pleas to be let in to what he had found in those papers, the way he had. Tim didn't know how to fix things with his mother or even his sister and had mulled the problem over again and again in his mind.

Christmas was less than a week away and Tim had, for the first time in his life, become estranged from his family. The painful truth that if his father was still alive, none of this pain would even be here, hurt so sharply that it almost stole his ability to breathe. He was alone for the upcoming holidays and that thought hurt like hell too. There was no way his mother would forgive him for the way he'd treated her. Hell, Sarah was beyond pissed at him, too. He had no doubt she wouldn't want to talk to him either.

So, the question remained; what was he supposed to do to fix this? If he tried to talk to his mother and apologize, she'd probably want to explain what had really happened to her when he was conceived and that was something he just didn't want to have to hear. It wasn't that he didn't care; more that he wasn't capable of handling anymore from what had to have been a most painful and terrifying situation for her. If she wanted to talk about it; that would only open up the door on his own doubts into who he was now; where he had really fit in with her life.

Tim already had a boatload full of questions about all of that. Had he really been a wanted child or had he just been allowed to be born because she didn't believe in abortion? Had she really loved him? Or did she spend the entire time she was raising him, resenting him and hating him? Was she forced to remember being raped every time she looked at him? Did she see that monster every time she looked at him or did she see Tim for himself? Was the man he thought of as his father, the only stabilizing force that kept love alive in his mother's heart for Tim?

"McGee?" Gibbs called him from the back porch "You all right?

When no answer came back at him, the boss headed out into the yard toward his brooding agent. "Hey! McGee! Talk to me! You all right?"

Tim's mind stopped mid thought and he blinked as Gibbs' call for attention reached him. Turning toward the boss, he quickly offered an answer. "Sorry, Boss. I was just thinking."

"Yeah, I figured that out when you didn't answer me the first time, McGee. C'mon, let's get back inside. It's freezing out here."

Now that Tim was no longer lost in thought, the cold quickly permeated through his clothes and made him shiver. He wasted no time in following the boss back into the house where it was warm. Once inside, Gibbs was quick to turn off the oven and then hand him a piping mug of hot coffee as they took seats in the living room.

"What's on your mind?" Gibbs asked.

"My mom." Tim admitted in the same tone he'd used when they'd had this conversation yesterday morning.

"You ready to talk about it?"

Tim nodded silently as he tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. "I was so hateful to her, Boss. Even Sarah screamed at me for the way I talked to my mom that night. I've never treated her like that before in my life."

"Why don't you talk me through what happened, Tim. Maybe we can figure out what to do to help you fix things with your family." Gibbs encouraged calmly.

"Boss, I don't know what to say. This is just so…"

"Not like me, yeah, so I've been told. You up for it?" the boss kept going with the conversation, unwilling to let it get bogged down already.

"Yeah. It started right after I read Dad's letter…."

_**Flashback**_

_He steadfastly created a file with every source he found on the information he'd requested, copied it to a flash drive, of which his father always kept a supply of handy; erased his search, closed down the computer, and headed toward the door, wanting to leave without another word to his mother. His pain, sense of betrayal and grief too raw._

_His mother met him at the door, physically blocking his path, desperate for the chance to find out what those papers were. Her husband had never told her he would be leaving Tim any papers. She was clueless._

_"Tim. Honey. What is it? What were the papers about?"_

_Tim stopped in his steps and glared at his mother, his manners temporarily thrown by the wayside as his anger took over._

_"Honey, what is it?"_

_"Were you ever gonna tell me?" he asked her in a clipped angry tone that she had never heard from him before._

_"Tell you?"_

_"LUCAS MARTIN!"_

_The color drained from his mother's face and only Sarah rushing up to offer physical support to her, kept her from falling into the floor in a heap._

_"Timothy McGee! What the hell is wrong with you?" Sarah bellowed_

_"Ask Mom!" Tim raged as he stormed out and jumped in his car. Peeling out of the driveway, he allowed himself to drive only so far as to be out of sight of the house before he pulled over and forcefully calmed himself down._

_It was a wonder he made it home safely that morning. It was after 1 am when he got in and sleep was a distant idea that hadn't even come close to his door that night. He spent the night going over the information he found and digging up more. Each shred of information he found only served to dig the hole deeper that had opened up underneath him on this trip home. Suddenly, he found himself standing on the edge of an abyss._

_**End Flashback**_

Silence filled the air in the living room as Tim came to the end of his admission of what had happened that dreadful night. Gibbs was both shocked and upset for his agent and even for the young man's mother and sister. This was pretty hurtful stuff to have to go through and so soon after the man at the head of the family had died, too.

Tim hated it when Gibbs went silent like this; it was never a good sign. With a sigh of frustration and confusion, he launched himself off the couch and over to the French doors where he could see out into the now moonlight bathed backyard.

"Tim. What is it that you need help with the most about this?" Gibbs' sympathetic voice reached him,

Hearing no censure or anger or judgment in the question, Tim turned and faced the older man. "We could be here a while if you want me to answer that completely" he warned seriously.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to listen and help." Gibbs reminded him.

"As am I." Ducky's voice reached them from the doorway. "Timothy, I arrived in time to hear your explanation of what happened on that evening. I did not want to interrupt you, dear boy. I do hope you'll forgive me."

"No problem, Ducky." Tim answered quickly with a smile for the older man he consider to be his uncle.

"Thank you. Now, I'm afraid I interrupted your conversation. Where were you?" Ducky attempted to lead the conversation back where it had been going.

"McGee was about to explain what he needs our help with in all of this." Gibbs explained evenly while internally send up a silent prayer of thanks that the better capable of the two of them had arrived in time to rescue the situation before it could take a miss-step.

"Ducky. Have you seen the video?" Tim asked nervously.

"Yes, dear boy. I have. I must say, I am still a little angry that you disregarded your safety in that matter."

"I told you, I couldn't risk anyone else." Tim explained yet again, but with infinite patience.

"Yes, well. I gather that the dreadful meeting caught on that tape is the driving force behind your need for help with this?" Ducky asked in hopes of making clarification simpler for Tim.

"Indirectly. Let's face it. I've gone from being the only son of two parents who loved me and supported me my whole life; to a being the end results of a rape at the hands of a serial killer. I can't even keep up with all the questions that have popped into my head about this." Tim admitted ruefully.

"And doubts?" Gibbs asked gently,

"Yeah, those too."

"About yourself or about your mother?" Gibbs pushed Tim to specify what he meant for the young man's own good.

"Both."

"Timothy, while I understand the anger in which you reacted to your mother that night; surely, you must know she probably forgave you before you had even gotten yourself back here that night." Ducky tried to reason out.

"How can I be sure?" Tim asked painfully. "How do I know she'll even talk to me? How do I know she ever really wanted me to begin with and didn't just feel forced to have me because she didn't believe in the alternative? What if every time she looks at me, she sees…?" Tim took himself back to the place where he could lose himself to the view of the backyard.

"You're forgetting she called me because she was worried sick about you. She even asked if you'd gotten hurt or killed on the job; thought maybe that's why you hadn't called her." Gibbs told him. "That was not the concern of a woman who regrets her choice, McGee."

"Boss, you didn't tell me she asked you all that!" Tim turned around and looked at his boss.

"Nope. You had more than enough on your plate. No reason for me to add that to it."  
Tim blew out a breath of frustration.

"Timothy, is there more to this that you haven't told us?" Ducky asked as something told him there was more to the story.

"Only that I'm all alone out here now. Both Mom and Sarah have moved out to California. But, I already told you that, Ducky." Tim admitted with something akin to loneliness in his voice.

"All the more reason for you to let your teammates help you through this, you really should have let them know when your father passed, dear boy, You should have allowed them to be there for you."

Tim closed his eyes and nodded his head just enough that Gibbs caught it. "Can you tell me why you didn't, Tim?"

"Guess, I didn't know if I could handle things being different with you guys. It would have been temporary and when different went back to being normal, it would have been too hard to adjust on top of everything else, Boss." Tim rationalized in his quiet tone.

Gibbs felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He understood what Tim meant, though and couldn't really fault him for his decision. But, he also knew that in making that decision, his youngest agent had put himself through the toughest, most painful eight weeks of his life, nearly drowning in all of ir alone unnecessarily.

"McGee, you should have told Ducky or I. We could have helped you. We would have respected your need to keep the team out of your grief. Trying to get through it alone had to have made things a lot tougher on you than you needed it to be trying to get through alone." The boss gently admonished his agent.

"I know, Boss. And you're right. I do regret not letting you two in. It's been really, really hard." Tim said as a couple of tears slid down his face.

"Timothy. Would you like us to contact your mother while we're here and on this subject? Would that help you, if we did the talking for you until you're comfortable picking up the conversation with her?"

"I don't know if I can." Tim admitted.

"What's the problem, Tim?"

"What if she wants to talk about what happened when she … when I…?"

"You're not ready to talk about that, we get that. No one's gonna force you to, McGee."

"What if I do? Like I said, I have so many questions."

"McGee. No one can answer those questions for you except your mother. But, if you're not ready to ask them or hear the answers, then don't' worry about it. Stop being so hard on yourself." Gibbs gently directed him.

"Is it normal, to have all these questions, I mean?" Tim asked as he looked at Ducky.

"Yes, Timothy, it is quite normal. You have nothing to fear on that subject. I might also add, that how you came to be on this earth does nothing to change who you have become, dear boy. You must hold onto that."

Tim's doubt filled his eyes.

"McGee."

"Boss?"

"Who are you?"

"That's kinda what I'm not sure of anymore, Boss."

"McGee?"

"Boss?"

"See that mirror over there?"

"The one on the wall, sure, I see it."

"Go stand in front of it."

"Okay," Tim answered as he did as the boss requested and took himself over to the mirror.

"Look in it." Gibbs instructed from his seat as Ducky moved to stand beside Tim, deliberately keeping out of sight of the mirror.

"Okay."

"Duck?" Gibbs handed the conversation over to the one of them with the professional training more than useful in times such as these.

"Timothy, tell us who you see looking back at you in that mirror." Ducky quietly requested as he picked up the conversational ball with ease and caution.

"I see me." Tim said with confusion.

"Who are you?" Ducky kept pushing.

"I dunno what…"

"Timothy. What makes you who you are? The circumstances of your birth or what you have done with your life and what you've made of your life with what you've had to work with?"

"Okay. I get it." Tim admitted with a small smile.

"Do you? Are you sure, McGee?" Gibbs chimed in as he came to stand beside Ducky.

"Yeah, Boss. I do, really."

"Good."

"Timothy, if you understand our point, pray, tell me what else is bothering you about this?" Ducky pushed even further.

"I guess, I just need some questions answered, like the ones I already told you about. I just need to hear it from her."

"Whatever other questions you have, are seriously troubling you, dear boy. Why don't you let us hear them so that we can possibly help you think through them before they continue to eat at you while they remain unanswered?"

"Guess, it couldn't hurt. But, I already told you the big one. I just really need to know if she really wanted me." Tim answered quietly. "I mean what rape victim wants the child that comes from that?"

Silence reigned in the air between them for a moment as the obvious pain behind the repeated question and the rationale behind it was realized by the older two. Finally, after a moment, the silence was broken by a quietly asked question from Gibbs. "That something you ready to hear the answer to when you talk to her now?"

"I'm not sure. I think I'd rather know now than keep wondering, Boss."

"Okay. Well, it's your decision. You ready for us to call her?"

"Yeah."

The Team Leader led the way back to the furniture and they all took their seats back as Gibbs pulled out his cell phone, scrolled through for the number Tim's mother had called him from the other day, hit call and the speaker button and set it where he and Ducky could talk into it. On the 3rd ring, the call was answered.

_"Hello?"_


	14. Chapter 13

_A/N: I've moved the break in this chapter from where it was in the orginally posted story on the NFA Site. Nothing else has changed, with the exception of a few minor flaws corrected._

Also, a bit of a warning for this Chapter - There is no intent to slander anyone or make them look bad - we all have moments where we say things without thinking first.

Thank you to each and every one who has read and reviewed. And even to those who read without reviewing. Thank you.

* * *

_"Hello?"_

"Hello, May I speak with Mrs. McGee?" Gibbs asked politely.

_"This is Sarah McGee, can I help you?"_

"Sarah, this is Agent Gibbs, may I speak with your mother, please?"

_"Agent Gibbs? Did something happen to my brother?"_

"No, Sarah. Your brother's fine. I just really need to speak with your mother."

_"If my brother's fine, then my mother won't want to talk to you, Agent Gibbs. Not if you're calling to talk to her about him."_

"Sarah…"

_"Agent Gibbs, my brother treated my mom like crap the last time they spoke and he's refused to speak with either of us since. We don't need that! I don't know what's going on with him, but my mother just lost her husband of 30 years, for God's sake! And I just lost my father! Whatever his problem is; doesn't give him the right to treat her like that! I won't let you talk to her!"_

"Who's that, Sarah?"

"No one, Mom. Wrong number!"

**Click**

Gibbs and Ducky both immediately looked over at Tim, only to find him sitting stiffly against the back of the couch, his head resting against the wall as well, his eyes closed and his face suspiciously wet. Gibbs got up and went in search of fresh coffee as well as a blanket and pillow for Tim. The kid wasn't going home tonight. There was no doubt about that. Sure enough, as Gibbs returned to the living room, he noticed Ducky repacking his medical bag and Tim now lying full out on the couch, his back facing out.

Shaking his head, at the silent question he saw in Gibbs' eyes, the M.E. silently took the blanket from Gibbs and opened it up and spread it gently over the now sleeping agent. As Gibbs placed the pillow under Tim's head, Ducky took the young man's shoes off and they both then retreated to the kitchen to talk for a moment before Gibbs sent the M.E. home with the promise that he'd be called if he was needed.

Once the M.E. had left, the Team Leader got himself comfortable in the lounge chair near the couch. Sighing in frustration, he settled in as comfortably as he could. It was gonna be a long night.

_Wed. December 20th_

Morning found Gibbs alone in the house. Tim had apparently woken up quite early and taken himself home leaving the boss a note. As Gibbs found and read the note, his gut told him something was off.

_Boss:  
Thank you. For everything.  
Couldn't sleep  
see you at 7.  
Tim._

Gibbs wasn't happy about it in the least, but short of calling him to make sure he was okay, there was nothing else the boss could do about it. He hadn't disappeared and if the note was anything to go by, he seemed to be in his right mind. Whipping out his cell phone, Gibbs did just that.

_"Boss."_Tim greeted quietly.

"Where are you?" Gibbs asked as he took in the background noise that wouldn't be there if his agent was at home getting ready for work. There was too much noise – printer noise, people noise.

_"Um, I'm at work."_Tim admitted on a breathed out sigh of frustration at what he thought would be Gibbs coming down on him now.

"You eat breakfast?" Gibbs asked as he decided against his normal route of berating the young man for choices he'd made that the boss didn't agree with.

_"No, Sir."_Tim answered vaguely as his mind attempted to process this very un-Gibbs like response from Gibbs.

"We'll talk when I get in there." Was the boss' only warning before he ended the call.

Tim breathed out a sigh of relief. That had gone better than he'd hoped, but the truth of the matter was, it wasn't over yet. Maybe the worst was yet to come, when the boss actually got in to work. It sure had sounded like a threat. Mentally putting this problem aside, Tim got back to work in an attempt to refocus on something besides impending trouble.

*Ding*

Tim's eyes blinked of their own accord when the elevator announced its' arrival on the floor. Glancing at his watch, he was shocked to see that it was only 6:00 AM. But even more surprising was the fact that the person stepping off the elevator was Gibbs himself and Tim had just spoken with the man, not fifteen minutes ago.

"Yeah, it is kinda early to be here already, isn't' it McGee?" the boss asked with a touch of sarcasm. "Wanna tell me what time you got here?"

"I'm not really sure, Boss. I think it was around 4?"

"Nope – try 3 McGee. Least, that's what time you signed in downstairs."

"Oh, Right."

"What's going on, Tim?"

"I just couldn't sleep."

"What's on your mind?"

Tim shook his head slightly, unwilling to go down that road while here at work. The fact that they'd already gone down the very same road last night; and in great personal detail, was another reason he didn't want to bring it up now. "I'm fine, Boss. Really." He finally offered instead.

"Okay. Put your coat on. We're going on a run for coffee and breakfast." The boss ordered, taking his cues from the young man who obviously didn't want to have this conversation again or at least here in the squad room.

Tim put his shocked reaction away and locked his computer before putting on his coat and following Gibbs to the elevator. The trip to the coffee shop in the bitter cold was a quiet one. Neither man had anything to say.

While Gibbs wanted to get Tim to let him in on what had him awake before 3 AM; Tim wanted desperately to not let his mind go back to where it had gone last night. Waking up at 2:30 in the morning because he couldn't get that maniacal laughter or the gloating admission of what had been done to his mother, out of his head, was the last thing he'd expected to be going through, simply because he'd wanted to fix things with his mother. His sister's screaming bitterness had found its' way into his head amidst the other crap as well; driving home the point that he'd well and truly screwed things up again; only this time, it had cost him the only family he had left.

Even after they'd reached the coffee shop and both of them had placed their orders, the silence between them remained. When the orders were ready, including drinks for the rest of the team, they trudged their way back, this time, into the face of the wind that had formally been at their backs. Huddled into their coats and carrying hot drinks left little room for conversation and so no words were spoken still.

"Hey! So that's where you two went off to!" Tony greeted Gibbs and Tim as they came back into the squad room.

Tim silently passed out the hot drinks and breakfast sandwiches after Gibbs set his tray down next to Tim's tray on Ziva's desk. She hadn't arrived yet and hopefully wouldn't mind the use of her desk for the moment. Gibbs remained silent as well and a now completely unnerved Tony DiNozzo was concerned.

"Boss? Probie? Everything all right?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, Tony. Everything's fine." Tim answered as if he'd just been brought out of a mind fog.

Tony watched as Gibbs immediately sent his eyes to check Tim's expression at the spoken reassurance. _Yeah, something was up, that was for certain. Whatever it is, sure hope it's not bad news for anyone_.

The morning moved forward and they each dug back into the cold cases before them. Hours of almost silent perusing of files, facts and figures went by with none of them getting any closer to the answers they sought. Suddenly, Tony sprung up out of his chair and announced to the room at large; "I got it!"

"Got what? DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked as he put his pen down and looked over at his Senior Agent.

"Boss! This case? It's the last in a long line of murders with the same m.o, right? But, this one is a good 15 years after the last one that fits that of the others."

"Yeah. Okay? Doesn't explain what it is 'you got' DiNozzo." The boss reminded him.

"Classic case of the copycat, Boss. Only this time, it's the son copycatting his serial killer of a father! That's why the DNA seemed hinky. What I wanna know is what kind of woman would sleep with a serial killer and have his kid? I mean, who would want to have offspring from a guy like that? Haven't these women ever heard of 'like father, like son?" Tony ranted on as he stood in front of the plasma screen at the edge of the squad room. "I can't imagine what it would be like to be the son of a serial killer. Probably never able to look yourself in the mirror just from the shame and the guilt alone! Ugh!"

Tim's heart stopped and his legs damn near gave out on him as he quickly took his seat and waited for the jokes and jibes to come his way along with the rhetorical questions about whether or not Tim knew this or not. He really wished Tony would just shut up. Silently, he stood back up and walked around his desk, and headed out of the squad room, the long way so he wouldn't have to bump into Tony or even become a blip on his radar while continuing to verbally think his way through his ideas and theories about the case he was looking into.

Gibbs forced himself to keep his eyes off Tim so he wouldn't immediately draw extra attention to his youngest agent, even as he could see out of the corner of his eye that the young man had indeed reacted like he'd been sucker punched. Still, he had to ignore his reaction for Tim's own sake of keeping things private. Instead the boss looked over at his ranting agent before stepping up to him and asking him:

"You done?"

"Boss?"

"You're done."

"But…"

"Enough, DiNozzo. Stick to the facts and quit the judgmental B.S. that doesn't solve the case!" Gibbs hissed at him.

"Huh? Oh, right! Okay, sorry, Boss." Tony gave back flippantly and quickly moved back to the point. "I'll stake my next paycheck on it, Boss. This is the work of the son, trying to be his father's copycat."

"Yeah, heard you the first time, DiNozzo. Until you bring me facts to back that up, how about you get back to looking into the facts of the case?"

"Oh, sure, Boss." Tony answered as he turned away from the Plasma TV and headed back to his desk. "Hey, where'd Probie go? Wait a minute! Both of them are missing!" Tony objected as he looked around him and finally noticed he and Gibbs were the only two in the squad room.

"They're not missing, DiNozzo, get to work!" Gibbs told him quietly; making sure to lace his voice with enough steel that the younger man would know he was playing with fire.

Ziva had seen Tim's reaction to Tony's words. It had been quick and serious. When the younger man had silently retreated from the squad room, taking the long route past Tony's desk and back around the stairs to the Director's Office, the newest member to the team knew something was seriously wrong and wanted to be there for her friend. She'd slid a glance over to the boss who, in turn, had nodded his head in the direction of Tim's retreating figure. Thankful that Gibbs seemed to agree with her, she'd quickly hurried after Tim; trailing him to the break room.

Now, she took a seat at the same table he was sitting at. "McGee. Are you all right?"

"Yeah, Ziva. I'm okay, just needed some fresh coffee. You?"

"I am fine. And you are being less than completely honest with me and with yourself. I saw your reaction to what Tony said, McGee. That kind of reaction does not come from being okay. In fact, you have not been 'okay' for some time now. I find myself wishing I had not had other plans the other night when you wanted to have dinner with me. When Tony told me what did happen after work that night, I could not help but feel that had you and I had dinner then, you would not be so 'not okay' now?"

"No, Ziva. It's not like that. I'm okay. Honest. C'mon, let's get back to work." Tim encouraged as he deliberately stomped down on the pain that Tony's callous remarks had reaped upon his heart. The questions he'd put forth to Gibbs and Ducky just last night now came back to clarity, seeming to smack up upside the head with Tony's version of the very truth Tim had been searching for. What if Tony was right this time, instead of Gibbs? Was he like his biological father? What did his mother think about her son, the offspring of a serial killer?

"Relax, McGee. Gibbs knows we are taking this break. We should enjoy this while we have the chance, yes?" Ziva asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"Ha. Yeah. You're right about that." Tim answered with a small smile as he sat back down and allowed himself to relax.

Watching Tim walk out of the squad room; letting him go, knowing the pain that had to be hitting him right between the eyes, at the careless remarks from his Senior Field Agent; had been one of the hardest things that Gibbs had had to do recently. But as the Team Leader answered his now ringing cell phone, he quickly realized what he had to do now, was just as difficult.

_"Agent Gibbs. I finally got Sarah to tell me what went on when you called here last night. Please tell me Tim didn't hear what she said!"_

As the timid voice of his agent's mother once again reached out to him through the phone line, Gibbs got up from his desk and headed out to the break room he was sure his other two agents had gone to

"Mrs. McGee, I had my phone on speaker. He heard her. I am sorry."

_"Oh, No! Is he okay?"_

"He will be when he's had a chance to talk to you."

_"Can I talk to him, please?"_

"He'd like that. Call me back in about 10 minutes and he'll be all yours."

_"All right. Thank you so much, Agent Gibbs."_

"Not a problem, Mrs. McGee." Gibbs snapped his phone shut and kept going toward the break room.

Sure enough, he found both Tim and Ziva in the midst of what looked like a very serious discussion. Not wanting to interfere or eavesdrop, he stopped in the doorway of the otherwise empty break room. Wanting to get things as back to normal as possible, he got their attention. "Hey!"

Both of his agents instantly looked over to him even as they stood up, ready to react to whatever it was he wanted from them.

"C'mon. Ziva head back to work. McGee, you're with me." He requested,

Ziva nodded and did as Gibbs had asked and headed back to the squad room as Gibbs led Tim away from their work area and into a conference room. As they both took a seat, Gibbs looked the young man square on and explained to him what was going on.

"McGee, your mother just called me. She's really worried about you. Said she finally got your sister to tell her what happened in that phone call last night and needs to talk to you."

"Is she…?" Tim asked hesitantly.

"Upset that you heard what your sister said." Gibbs reassured him.

"Oh."

"Are you up for this?'

"Boss?"

"She'll be calling back in a minute."

"Okay."

"You don't sound like you want to talk to her."

"I'm just not sure if I can."

"McGee. She's your mother and she loves you. Go with that."

"Okay. Thanks, Boss."

Gibbs patted Tim's shoulder and left him alone in the room, closing the door behind him. He knew that the young man was probably still reeling from the emotions that had been dredged up with the comments made just a short while ago; but the kid had to be able to have this conversation with his mother if he was ever gonna be able to fix things with his family. It was the first step he needed to make in order to find the answers he needed as well. Babysitting him through it, now that he'd been informed of how his mother felt; wouldn't help him in the least.

Thirty minutes later, Tim returned to the squad room and silently walked up to Gibbs' desk and handed the man back his phone. The boss gave Tim that silent patented "You okay?" questioning look and the younger man nodded in silent affirmation before turning and heading back to his desk; back to work.

Without further ado, work was once again, the call of the day and no further interruptions were made or tolerated. When Tony opened his mouth to speak or began to get up out of his seat, he received the glare from Gibbs that never failed to stop him in his tracks. Enough was enough, and Gibbs wanted peace and quiet as well as productivity and results. He most definitely did not want any more incidents like there had been earlier. Better to come across as earning the second "B" in his name, than risk that happening again.

By the end of the day, the team seemed to have been stretched to the breaking point with the tension filled silence and no real lead to take them out of the squad room for a breath of fresh air away from it. It felt stifling, even to Gibbs, who looked at his watch in hope it was late enough to cut them loose. He could feel a headache comin' on and was more than ready to head it off. Sure enough, it had come on six in the evening and that was plenty late enough.

"Go home!" he barked out as he snatched up his coffee cup and headed out in search for more caffeine and fresh air – no matter how bitterly cold it was out. Winter was always such a pain in the rear, with its' biting cold wind, icy roads and all its' other fine attributes. Settling into his coat further in order to ward off the wind, he couldn't help but shake his head a little at the strange place his head had just gone. _The weather? Really?_

Frustrations were at an all-time high as Gibbs left the squad room after telling the team to go home. Tony was gone so fast; lightening couldn't have stopped him even if it had tried. Ziva lingered long enough to look over at Tim to see how he was doing. She wasn't happy that her conversation with him had been interrupted earlier, but she was also worried about him since he'd been carted off to places unknown by Gibbs earlier and had been gone every bit of 30 minutes longer than the boss himself had been.

Feeling her eyes on him, Tim looked over at her and offered her a smile and some reassurance. "I'm fine, Ziva. Really. Thank you for your concern. I'm just gonna go home and get a good night's sleep. You go ahead. Enjoy your evening."

"Are you not leaving now?"

"Not yet. I won't be staying much longer though, don't worry."

"All right, McGee. If you need to talk, you will call me, yes?"

"Yes, Ziva. I will. Thank you."

"That is what friends do."

"You're right. They do." Tim smiled at her as he lifted his coffee cup off the desk and gestured that he was going after more, before disappearing out of the squad room in the direction of the break room.

Ziva headed out, confident that McGee was not lying to her and that if he needed to talk, he would call. She could only hope he would be able to get a good night's sleep tonight. It had become obvious that sleep was becoming hard for him to find. She'd seen it in his eyes and his body posture lately and was beginning to worry about him; especially after seeing his reaction to Tony's statements about his cold case earlier in the day.

Tim waited a good fifteen minutes before returning to the squad room and packing it in for the day. As he headed out, he remembered that his car had been here for a few days and he hoped no one had messed with it. Thankfully, no one had done anything to his prized possession and he was able to drive himself home, even if traffic was a royal pain in the behind.

Once at home, he took himself off to bed, more than ready to escape the need to think or do anything for at least a couple of hours. Thankfully, he didn't experience any mental skirmishes or stubborn roadblocks in his attempts to relax. At this point, he couldn't even bring up the conversation he'd had with his mother this afternoon. Hi mind had gone blank with the need for total relaxation and sleep. It wasn't long before sleep came out of hiding and claimed this willing victim.

Gibbs was mentally head slapping himself for leaving the squad room without first making sure Tim was ready to face the night and the possible nightmares that would come with it; alone. When he got back to his desk, he found a note from the agent currently at the center of his concern.

_Boss:  
I'm going home to get some sleep.  
McGee_.

The boss had to smile. Leave it to McGee to know that Gibbs would want to keep tabs on him for a bit longer. Knowing where McGee was spending the night and that the young man felt ready and able to face the possibility of a rough night, alone, bolstered the former Marine's ability to breathe easier on the subject of his youngest agent.

Closing down his work station, he could finally see hope looming on the horizon for McGee. Even without knowing what was said in the conversation between the young man and his mother; Gibbs had a sense that everything would work out for the best; for McGee and his mother and sister. This close to Christmas that thought did the Team Leader's heart good.


	15. Chapter 14

_Thurs December 21st_

Morning found Tim waking more refreshed and rested than he had been in a long time. The conversation with his mother yesterday had been just what he'd needed; what they'd both needed and had gone a long way in repairing the rift between them. Even though it was four days before Christmas, and he'd be spending that special day alone, Tim felt much better about it now than he had before he'd talked to her. Ducky had been right, apparently. His mother expressed her unconditional forgiveness in the same insistent voice that she used when she shared her sorrow for his pain.

Although they didn't talk about anything beyond the loss of the man he'd always thought of as his father, and his admittance of what papers his father had left for him; Tim knew that when the time was right, for both of them, they would be able to talk about the rest of it; somehow he just knew that without a shadow of a doubt.

That assurance and the full night of solid rest put a smile on the young man's face even as he drove into work, that hadn't been there since before his father died. The man would always be "Dad" to Tim and he would probably always remember him as 'my father' and had no qualms about it even as the real answer of his paternity sat like a dead weight in his gut.

So long as he refused to think about that chapter of his life, everything would be fine. Somehow, he'd learn to hear twisted logic such as what Tony had been sprouting yesterday, that hit too close to home for him, without letting it hit him like the sledgehammer it had been yesterday. He'd get there, somehow. Nightmare free nights like last night would certainly help in that direction. The last thing he was willing to do right now, was worry about it. Nope, it was too close to Christmas and even though he didn't have the time from work to go to California to see his mother and try to make amends with his sister, he was okay with that.

When the rest of the team arrived for the start of the work day, they found Tim already engrossed in something on his computer and a fresh coffee and Danish on each of their desks. After exchanging greetings and thanking him for his generosity, the daily grind of getting down to work began. For the most part, the morning was more normal than things had been for the team in a long time, although none of them had the time to stop and even think about it. A calm and soothing quiet settled around them, disturbed only by the sounds of keyboards being hounded and pens scratching on paper.

The afternoon was on its' way to passing by just as quietly when it was disturbed by a call out, which ate up the remainder of the day as they all went out on it and by the time they got back to the yard it was almost seven.

The team was grateful that for once, a missing Navy Petty Officer, wasn't missing due to foul play, but rather, had been missing due to his own stupid choices of trying to ditch the Navy simply because he'd suddenly decided he'd made the wrong choice. After turning him over to his CO, the team was able to beat it back to the yard and dive into the paperwork that had been created from this. They already had reports to write from the other work that had befallen them earlier in the week; after all, cold case investigating required a paper trail too.

Feeling generous, Gibbs sounded the call to call it a day before seven that night. The Team Leader experienced a moment of worry about what Tim would do with the extra time, but the young man had seemed to be almost back to normal since yesterday afternoon and Gibbs wasn't going to take that away from him. The best he could do was remind him that they were there for him. As his team was leaving, Gibbs sent Tim on a last minute run to the break room, with a rare request for the young man to get Gibbs a fresh cup of coffee. When he came back and handed Gibbs the cup, the boss took his shot.

"McGee. You need to talk or anything. Call me or find your way to my basement. Door's always open."

"Thanks, Boss. I will."

"Yeah?"

"I promise."

"Okay."

"G'night, Boss."

"Nite, Tim."

* * *

_Friday and Saturday - Dec 22 - 23rd_

Friday and Saturday fell through with the same sense of normal routine with, thankfully, no additional call-out. This close to Christmas, they weren't looking that particular gift horse in the mouth. In fact, none of them were griping about cold cases during those two days.

Both nights, Tim managed to have a normal routine at home as well, catching sleep with no emotional overload getting in the way. He didn't know how that had happened so quickly after the craziness he'd gone through last Saturday, but he was willing to accept it without digging into the intricate nature of the human way of dealing with things like this.

By Saturday, everything looked and almost felt as if the whole nightmare hadn't even happened. Tim did wonder if this was some kind of delayed shock or weird misfiring brain mechanism that would come back online after the holidays, but again, went about living without digging too deep for the answer.

Another day spent wrapping up case reports on cold cases they hadn't made any progress on and the antsy atmosphere was becoming tangible. Feeling generous, Gibbs let them go home He knew it was earlier than usual but it was close to the holiday and he knew they'd appreciate the extra time off. They could finish everything up tomorrow, even if it was Sunday. Better to wrap it all up then, then to have it undone and waiting for them when they got back.

_Sunday, December 24th_

As he stepped off the elevator at work on this day before Christmas, and even with no personal plans for the one day they would have off; the holiday itself, Tim was pretty damn satisfied with life right about now. Sure there were a few things that could be better; such as his relationship with his sister; and having his remaining family actually with him for the holiday; but he had so much to be grateful for today; that he hadn't been able to recognize just two days ago, that there wasn't a glimmer of sadness anywhere around him. Even having to work on a Sunday wasn't putting a damper on his spirits.

Gibbs had reasoned out with them that if they finished all paperwork today and tidying up of tedious things like supply orders and handing in time sheets, they could enjoy tomorrow off even more, since none of this would be hanging over their heads.

Tim was still reasoning through his current state of mind even as he sat down to get started on the day. His NCIS team had all stepped up to the plate when he'd fallen apart and needed them. Even before he'd realized just how far he'd fallen because he hadn't been able to ask for help before it.

Words would never be able to express the appreciation and admiration he now felt for his Team Leader and even Ducky. They'd gone so far above and beyond the call of duty for him; he was clueless as to how to even come close to adequately thanking them; breakfast and coffee for a month? That might help.

The last four nights had been the longest stretch in a long time that had been completely nightmare free and peaceful. It had helped him find his mental footing tremendously. Combined with the normal work days that Friday and Saturday had been, Tim was confident that everything would work out, so long as he continued to keep his recent discoveries buried and locked up tight. He could live his life and not worry about any of it. With that silent declaration made to himself, he was more than ready to face the day and the lonely Christmas Day that was looming on the horizon.

Whistling as he sat down at his desk and fired up his work station, he looked around him at his home away from home and felt a jolt of satisfaction at being at home where he loved to be, doing what he enjoyed. Even as Tony and Ziva arrived amidst their already endless bantering and taking jabs at each other, Tim settled into his comfort zone after greeting both of them and returned to his whistling as he worked.

While Tony and Ziva exchanged looks of surprise, they both received a tap on the back of the head.

"Mornin' Boss!" Tony offered loudly in return.  
"Gibbs?" Ziva questioned the head tap.

"That's for standing there with your mouths open. Not the best way to catch flies!" Gibbs quipped.

Tim chuckled softly even as he kept his eyes on his work and his back to the team. Tony and Ziva had to smile and they both got settled in and got started going back over where they'd stopped in their cold case work last night.

Abby arrived straight off her flight, having gotten a ride compliments of the Director in an unusually generous move, and after she greeted everyone, she too headed down to her office and into the fray of whatever awaited her. It was nice to have her back and Tim was in a better mood for it.

The day flew by and after a paperwork filled day, it was looking like they might actually get to call it a night earlier than usual. Conversation drifted around to holiday plans. Ziva, it seemed, was spending Christmas Day with Abby and Ducky. Tony too had committed to joining them since he had no plans to the contrary. Not having thought anything about what he was doing for the holiday, Gibbs realized Ducky had probably envisioned almost the entire team joining him for the day and he had no problem with that. After all, if the situation his youngest agent had just found himself going through, had shown the Team Leader anything, it had been that you seldom get a second chance in life to treat family right. And this team was his family, of that there was no doubt. He'd be there at Ducky's tomorrow.

All that was left to figure out was if Tim would be there. Ducky hadn't been very public in his invites this year, like he'd been in the past. Gibbs didn't know if the older man had thought to invite Tim or if he'd just assumed the youngest of the team would be going home to his mother's for the occasion; banking on Tim realizing he'd be welcomed home by his mother no matter what had happened between them. As he headed out to get a fresh cup of coffee, these thoughts ran through his mind until his cell phone rang , jarring his brain enough to halt his thoughts

"Yeah. Gibbs."

_"Agent Gibbs, I need your help."_

* * *

"Hey, either of you two know where Gibbs went?" Tony demanded when their fearless leader had been gone on his last coffee run for over two hours. "It's almost quitting time! If he's gone out on a lead and didn't tell us…"

"Go home!" Gibbs threw out at them from the space between his and Tim's desk.

All three of his Agents glanced his way. All three of them looked again at the beautiful woman standing at his elbow with a smile that lit up the room. Whoever she was; she looked startlingly familiar to Tony but he couldn't quite figure out why. While Tony and Ziva looked at each other and wondered who she was; Tim remained staring at the woman and wondered if he was dreaming.

Gibbs watched the flow of emotion that crossed his youngest agent's face with a smile and stepped aside so he wouldn't be in the way. In shock, Tim slowly dropped his backpack with a thud and almost trancelike, came around his desk.

"Mom? You're here? Really?" his voice broke with the strain from the emotional rollercoaster he'd been on since his father's death and obviously still felt stuck on.

"I'm here, Son. No place else I'd rather be for Christmas." Mrs. McGee replied with tears in her eyes as the love for her son shone so brightly, it erased every last doubt from Tim's heart and mind, that she hadn't ever truly loved him and replaced it with the certainty he felt all the way down to his soul, that she had given birth to him and kept him and raised him because she loved him unconditionally. His ties to his mother were unbroken after all.

Gibbs' smile deepened as he read in his agent's eyes exactly what was going through Tim's mind. It was obvious that seeing his mother now and seeing the hard evidence for himself that she really did love him unconditionally, despite how she'd come to have him in her life, was exactly what the young man had needed above all else. Tim wrapped his mother in the biggest hug he'd ever given her in his life; everything else around him fading into the background.


	16. Chapter 15

_A/N: Just a short chapter to reset the remaining ones where they're supposed to fall._

A huge thank you to all who have read and/or read and reviewed!

* * *

_Tim wrapped his mother in the biggest hug he'd ever given her in his life; everything else around him fading into the background.  
_

Gibbs used that time to clear the room, heading toward his other two, still stunned agents who, for the second time that day were standing frozen in the squad room with their mouths open in shock. Gibbs, grinning widely once again, popped both of his shocked agents in the back of the head.

"Told you about catching those flies. Go Home." He quipped as he headed out of the squad room to take the long way to the back elevator.

* * *

"Hey, Duck!"

"Jethro, I was just heading home. I have lots to do for tomorrow. What brings you to me at this hour? I thought surely by now, you would have let your team go home."

"Well, yeah, I have. I came to ask you if you have room for two more people at your house tomorrow."

"On Christmas, Jethro? I wouldn't turn anyone away. You know that."

"Yeah, well, this isn't just anyone, Duck. Thought we'd invite McGee and his mother."

"His mother? She's come to spend the holiday with him? How wonderful! Of course, they are most welcome. In fact, it would not feel as though the whole family were together without them." Ducky answered enthusiastically.

"I agree, Duck. See you there." Gibbs answered as he turned to head back up to the squad room. As he took the elevator up, his phone rang. "Yeah, Gibbs."

_"Agent Gibbs. I need your help."_

* * *

_Christmas Morning_

Christmas morning dawned bright and beautiful and there was no one on Team Gibbs that didn't stop to appreciate everything they had. While Gibbs spent the morning deep in conversation with someone who needed a willing ear, Tim spent the morning taking his mother to church and to breakfast and enjoying a long quiet talk with her. She'd even convinced him that his sister not being there for Christmas was not a reflection on anything Tim had done or said; despite the circumstances of their last meeting.

Tony and Ziva spent the morning helping Ducky prepare for the day. Abby spent her morning going to church, calling her mother on her TTY phone service and calling her teammates to wish them a Merry Christmas even though she would be seeing them in a few hours

Early afternoon found most of the team already at Ducky's. Tim's mom proceeded to share with the team, some of her son's childhood exploits They'd been there for over an hour now and Ducky had just announced that the much anticipated holiday meal would be ready within the hour. Tim looked around at his family. He'd be the first to admit that he'd always considered the team as family, even before they'd lost Kate. It felt great to finally get the sense that the feeling was mutual. It had taken a long time and a lot of struggles, but this latest struggle had been personal and his alone to deal with. No, that wasn't true. They'd all been there for him or had at least tried to be and for that he'd always be grateful.

Gibbs, most of all, had been the unexpected rock for Tim. Where Tim had expected the man to run and hide in his basement to get away from even the possibility of helping deal with a personal emotional crisis that centered around the loss of one father and the identity of another; he'd risen to the challenge and been there for Tim in ways that the young man hadn't even realized he'd needed him to be.

_Speaking of Gibbs; where was he? Was he hiding in his basement now? Surely, he'd at least celebrate Christmas Dinner with the team that loved him and thought of him as their surrogate father; cherished him as such?_Tim slid off his seat on the couch and stood up, suddenly needing some air. If this situation with Tim and his family had in any way affected Gibbs adversely, it needed to be fixed right now. Tim wouldn't be able to look himself in the mirror if the man was drowning in re-awakened heartbreak from the loss of his own family because of the help Tim had needed from him to get through this.

As he slipped out of the room, Ducky watched him go, frowning at the look in the young man's eyes. "Ducky? Everything all right? Where's Gibbs?" Abby asked as she watched the M.E.'s reaction to Tim's sudden bout of sadness and equally sudden departure from the room.

"Everything's fine, Abigail. I'm sure Jethro will be here soon enough. All of you, please, continue on. I must check on Christmas Dinner."

As the M.E. slipped out of the room, the only one to follow him, albeit silently, was Tim's mother. She too, had seen her son's change in mood and his quiet slipping away and was worried about him. Mrs. McGee had no doubt that this wonderful Dr. Mallard was concerned about her son and she wanted to be there to help him reach out to her troubled boy, if that help was needed. Another reason she'd found to following Ducky in Tim's wake, was to see firsthand, the actual relationship her son had with this group of people he'd come to love and trust as much as his own family.

Heading out after the young man, Ducky was relieved to see that he hadn't gone very far. As he walked up to Tim while he stood at the kitchen window, looking out but obviously not seeing anything, Ducky placed a comforting hand on the young man's shoulder. "Timothy? What's troubling you, lad?"

"Was it too much for him, Ducky? Should I have gone with my gut when it was telling me that it would hurt him too much if he was asked to help me through that mess? We all know that losing Shannon and Kelly is something he's never gotten over and never will. Is that why he's not here with us today? Is it my fault?" Tim asked with guilt and sadness mixed together, literally radiating off of him as he continued to stare out the window, his shoulders slumped in abject misery and the guilt.

"No, Tim. It's not." Gibbs unexpected and choked voice came from the doorway of the kitchen where it met the front entrance way.

Tim whipped around, startled and ready to apologize profusely, now feeling like he'd been talking about the man behind his back. As he opened his mouth to issue the heartfelt regret, Gibbs shook his head at him and stepped towards him even as he quickly and calmly spoke to him.

"No, Son. Don't apologize. No reason to. You hear me? I don't want you feeling any guilt over any of what you've just been through. You hearin' me?" the older man gently instructed.

Tim nodded, his eyes wet and beginning to blur with tears.

"You worry too much about the rest of us and not enough about yourself and what you need. Need you to change that, all right? From now on, if you need to talk to me about anything, then you come to me, you got that?"

Again Tim nodded silently, his heart in his eyes.

Gibbs hugged him to him and whispered in his ear. "I'm here for you, Tim. Haven't been before this and I'm sorry about that. But, from now on, I'm here for you."

"Thanks,Boss." Tim whispered as he soaked up the hug from his long-time surrogate father.

Ducky felt a wave of relief at Jethro's uncanny timing and unusual wave of sympathy for this young man. The M.E. also felt a sense of astonishment at what came next as he watched Gibbs step back from his agent and step over to the young man's mother, obviously intent on talking with her. Knowing Jethro had the situation well in hand, Ducky returned to looking after the food that was still cooking. Tim smiled at his mother and boss before turning to help Ducky with whatever he could do to help.

As Gibbs quietly asked Tim's mother if everything was going well with her visit, she nodded her head and answered him just quietly enough for Gibbs alone to hear her. "Thank you so much for being there for him, Agent Gibbs. I can't thank you enough."

"You already have, Mrs. McGee." Gibbs answered her just as quietly.

"How?"

"By giving him back the belief that he was always wanted and loved. By not letting this take that away from him."

"Oh!"

Ducky turned from the stove and addressed Gibbs. "Pardon me, Jethro, did you bring your usual contribution to the Christmas Dinner?"

"Oh, right! Knew I was forgetting to bring something in. Be back in a sec, Duck." Gibbs answered with a touch of sheepishness.

Ducky chuckled as he sensed the younger man was up to something. The man never forgot things like that. Willing to play along, the M.E. shook his head and smiled at Tim's mother before she headed back to the rest of the group in the living room. Ducky then turned back to the stove where he was helping Tim re-wrap the sweet potatoes and put them back in the oven. As they closed the oven door, they heard the front door close and Gibbs' words as he spoke from the doorway once again

"Hey, Duck, guess I forgot something else out in the car along with the rolls. I think we're gonna need another place set at the table!"

"Oh?" Ducky answered as he and Tim turned from the stove at the same time. Seeing yet another pretty woman on the arm of the Team Leader, and knowing who she was, put a huge smile on the M.E.'s face.

But even Ducky's smile paled in comparison to the one that lit Tim's face.


	17. Chapter 16

_Seeing yet another pretty woman on the arm of the Team Leader, and knowing who she was, put a huge smile on the M.E.'s face.  
But even Ducky's smile paled in comparison to the one that lit Tim's face._

"Sarah?" Tim asked incredulously

"Merry Christmas, big brother!" Sarah cried as she rushed to him, unwilling to wait to see if he'd accept her need for his hug and forgiveness.

"Merry Christmas, Sis." He choked out as he wrapped her in the tightest embrace he'd ever given her in his life. "Merry Christmas, Sarah." He whispered into her ear, his eyes once again bright with unshed tears. His eyes slid to those of his boss and he silently but genuinely issued a most heart-felt 'thank you' to the man who continued to go above and beyond the call of duty to help Tim and his family recover from this nightmare.

Gibbs nodded at his agent and smiled and then slipped out into the living room to find the missing person in this reunion. Finding Mrs. McGee standing at the porch doors looking out, he walked up to her. "Something wrong?"

"Just wishing Sarah was here. Now that it's just the three of us since…. Well, it's just harder this year not to have both of them home together for the holidays." She admitted. "I heard what Tim was worried about Agent Gibbs. Thank you for taking that guilt off his shoulders. I know that had to be really hard for you, especially today." She offered as she looked him straight on.

"It's still hard, even after all this time. They all know that and they all respect that. No reason any of them should ever feel guilty for needing to come to me with anything because of it. C'mon. You're needed in the kitchen." He gave her in return. Hiding his smile at what was coming up for her, he thought briefly of what he'd just told Tim's mother.

It was true, he knew that every single one of these people he considered to be his family, were always cautious and respectful of how tough days like this were for him and it was one more reason he loved them all in return. It was also one more reason he'd been as quick as he had been to take any guilt about it that he could off Tim's shoulders. Straightening his spine, he rearranged his thoughts and brought the anticipated joyful reunion take center stage in his mind as he led the way to Ducky's kitchen.

As she followed him into the kitchen, wondering what she could be needed for, she watched as Agent Gibbs stepped to the side suddenly and she found herself face to face with the only remaining wish she had for Christmas this year.

"Sarah McGee! You little sneak! You planned this?" Tim's mother asked with a smile on her face as she rushed to embrace her daughter.

"Sure did! Merry Christmas Mom!" her daughter offered as she met her half-way across the floor and hugged her.

"Oh, Sarah! Merry Christmas, Sweetheart!"

Tim stepped up and embraced the two most important women in his life; his family. "Merry Christmas."

As Gibbs stood silently by in the background shoulder to shoulder with his long-time friend – watching this much needed reunion, he couldn't help but think back to the last 18 hours he'd had that had helped bring this much needed reunion together.

_**Flashback**_

_"Thank you so much for picking me up from the airport, Agent Gibbs. I wanted this to be both Tim's and my mom's Christmas present."_

_"Understandable." Gibbs offered calmly. "I don't mind. In fact, I'm glad you felt you could come to me, Sarah."_

_"My brother said if I ever needed help and he wasn't around or available; that I needed to call you. He even made me put your number in my speed dial list."_

_"Yeah?" Gibbs asked her in surprise._

_"Yes." She confirmed it._

_"When was this?"_

_"Right after you handed him back his gun and badge even though he'd lied to you to clear my name."_

_Gibbs was stunned at the information that he'd been told; Tim had enough faith in him, to trust him with his sister and the team leader was sure that the shock was evident in his eyes. "He did that, huh?"_

_"He trusts you with his life, Agent Gibbs and from what I've seen, since he's never gotten hurt on the job, that trust is pretty well-founded."_

_"Not as much as you might think, Sarah. I'm human. There's times I've made mistakes, especially where your brother's concerned."_

_"He's never said anything about it." She answered in surprise._

_"That sounds like McGee."_

_"Mind if I ask you a question?"_

_"Shoot."_

_"Why don't you ever call him by his first name?"_

_"Hmm. Guess it's because when he first joined my team he looked so baby-faced, I was afraid it would come out 'Timmy' and I knew he'd hate it."_

_"And now?"_

_"Habit. One I guess I should try to break."_

_"I think he'd appreciate it."_

_"Why? Has he said something about it?"_

_"Tim? Tim never has anything negative to say about you guys. I swear, if I went by what he had to say about you guys, you'd all be wearing halos."_

_Gibbs grinned even as he hid his surprise. Well, that kinda made sense. If Tim wanted Sarah to be able to call on them for help in a pinch, he wouldn't have filled her head with the less than stellar stuff they'd said and done to him since he'd been on the team._

_"I'll bet he was really mad after I left the other day. I'm sorry. I never meant to cross him like that. I was just trying to help him"._

_"I'm sure he realizes that now. Now that he's had time to talk to your mother about it."_

_"Do you know, I still don't' know what 'it' is? Neither of them will tell me. What little I know doesn't add up to that explosion or this rift. I can't believe neither one of them will talk to me about it."_

_"Comes back to not taking that choice away from them, Sarah."_

_"I know. I remember what you told me, Agent Gibbs. I guess I should have thanked you for respecting Tim's right to privacy so much."_

_Gibbs remained silent, giving her time to think and himself a moment to appreciate that she'd taken what he'd told her to heart. Soon they reached Gibbs' house, where he'd offered to put her up in his spare bedroom since all the local hotels were full for the holiday. The silence between them during the remaining ride had settled like a thin blanket, neither feeling the need to break it even now._

_When he showed her to his spare bedroom, she felt honored, completely seeing all the signs that a little girl once lived here. "I don't want you to have to do this. I'll call Ziva or Abby." She offered quietly._

_"Sarah. I want you to stay. Go on. Settle in. You hungry?" he answered in return._

_"No. Thank you."_

_"You're welcome. I'll be down in the basement if you need anything. Just holler, I'll hear you."_

_"Okay."_

_The hesitant footsteps on the basement stairs sounded thirty minutes later as Sara McGee wandered down the stairs and sat noiselessly down on the fifth step down, content to watch him work on the toys for the children at the hospital._

_"Wow. Tim told me about the boats. He never mentioned intricate toys." she said quietly some ten minutes later._

_Gibbs smiled as he worked. When she didn't speak again after a few minutes, he put his sand paper down and turned to look at her. Looking at her as she sat there lost in her thoughts, tears sliding down her face, the parental lion in him silently roared that this young lady was, deep down inside, a little girl who had just lost her father two months ago and obviously in need of someone to lend her their sympathetic ear and show her everything was going to be okay._

_"Hey. C'mere." He took her hand and gently pulled her up off the step, and enfolded her into an embrace. "Let it out."_

_"I miss my daddy so much!" she cried as the sobs shook her shoulders._

_"I know, hon. I know." he soothed as he held her through the onslaught._

_As her sobs filled the air, Gibbs felt his heart break not only for the grieving young woman before him, but for her equally grieving older brother whom he loved like one of the sons he'd never had the chance to have. Inwardly, he offered up a prayer of thanks that these two kids would have the chance they desperately needed to fix the chink in their relationship that Mr. McGee's death had incidentally caused._

_Once Sarah's sobs had quieted down, he ushered her up to his living room and settled her onto the couch and took up the space next to her on it. In a surprising twist, Sarah was very quick to burrow into his shoulder, her returning tears soon soaking his shirt. As he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, he offered her the silence in which to cry it out and the squeeze of his hand on her shoulder in support of her letting go of her overwhelming pain and grief._

_When her emotional storm had worked its' way through and gone, her silence began to become worrisome, until he realized, she'd literally cried herself to sleep. Gently, he settled her down on the couch and went to get a pillow and a blanket and did what he could to make sure she was as comfortable as she could be, in hopes she'd be able to sleep okay. Once he'd taken care of Sarah, he returned to his basement and spent most of the night listening for signs of distress while he worked through the night._

_The next morning found Sarah awake late and pensive even as she took herself silently to the shower and then to the kitchen for breakfast. As Gibbs watched her take a seat at the table, he gave her the freedom and space to start the conversational ball rolling if she needed to or wanted to, offering only the normal polite inquiries to start with._

_"Mornin'. Sleep okay?"_

_"Mm. Yeah. Thank you. Wow, it's really late! I can't remember the last time I slept till 11 in the morning! I'm sorry for last night."_

_"No need to apologize. That the first chance you've had to let it out?"_

_Sarah nodded her head. "I had to be strong for Mom, ya know."_

_"And Tim?"_

_"And Tim. When Daddy died Tim came unglued. But it was the silent kind. He wouldn't talk to anyone. The only thing he did was make sure Mom and I weren't alone; always making sure someone we knew and trusted was staying with us. He came back here right after Daddy's funeral. I was so ticked off at him for that. He couldn't even stay one more day. We needed him, but then I remember thinking, 'why? When he won't even talk to us, why do we need him here?"_

_"Sarah, on this job, we see a lot of terrible things and it tends to change people, seeing the worst in people as often as we do. Your brother knew he'd need to have his head clear in order to come back to work."_

_"Why couldn't you give him the next day off? I know he had leave saved up, Agent Gibbs. He never takes a day off." She threw at him in a sudden flash of anger. "I remember being so angry at you for not letting him take another day off, and that was not long before I'd even met you when Jeff was murdered._

_"If I'd known about your father's death,I would have; would have made sure one of his teammates went with him for moral suport, too." He told her sadly._

_Sarah's eyes flew to his in shock. "He didn't tell you that Daddy had just died?"_

_"No. Sarah, he didn't."_

_"Oh my God! Did he tell anyone on his team?"_

_"No. he didn't. Matter of fact, Doctor Mallard was the first person to find out and that was only when your brother chose to tell him just last week. He told me after that. He hasn't talked to the others about it. And that's your brother's choice."_

_"I don't understand, Agent Gibbs, why wouldn't he tell his friends, his co-workers, you? You're his boss! He's always talking about how much he trusts you, it doesn't make sense that he wouldn't have told you!"_

_"That's something you'll have to ask Tim. Later when none of the others are around."_

_Sarah nodded in understanding as she pushed her breakfast around on her plate without even attempting to eat any of it._

_Gibbs watched her for a long silent minute before he broke into her thoughts again. "Something wrong with your food?"_

_"No." she answered softly._

_Gibbs sipped his coffee and watched Sarah as she obviously struggled to work through something she obviously didn't know how to put into words. "Doesn't matter how you say it, Sarah, just spit it out." He encouraged._

_"Has Tim talked to you about any of this?"_

_"Whatever he has or hasn't told me is between your brother and I. I won't betray that trust."_

_"I know. It's just… I overheard…."_

_"I won't betray yours either. You can talk to me."_

_"I overheard my parents talking the weekend before Daddy died. Actually, they were arguing. It caught my attention because they almost never argued. Daddy wanted to tell Tim …" she broke off and blinked hard a couple of times as she worked hard to drive her tears back where they'd come from._

_Gibbs waited; knowing that eventually his agent's little sister would find a way to voice what she needed to say. While he waited he reached out for the box of tissues on his counter and brought them to the table for her and set them next to her._

_Offering him a small smile of thanks, she took a tissue and balled it up, using it to dab at her eyes before she took a deep breath and continued what she needed to say. "Tim doesn't know that I know this, but I know Daddy wasn't his father. I never knew realized that Tim didn't know he wasn't Daddy's son. I mean I heard my parents argue about it but after Daddy died, it was like I completely forgot about what I'd heard that night until Mom told me why she didn't stay mad at my brother for the way he yelled at her the last time they saw each other."_

_"That must have been hard to hear."_

_"It was a shock. But, there's a lot I still don't understand. I mean there has to be more to this or Tim wouldn't have been so upset that he wouldn't talk to her for two weeks. Me either. I've never seen him so mad at me as he was that day in your office. And, Mom won't tell me anything more than Tim has a different dad and that it was really hard for my brother to swallow that so soon after Daddy's death. I'm guessing he asked you to call her the other day because he wasn't even sure he wanted to talk to her yet?"_

_"Sarah. When the time comes that your mother or your brother are ready to talk to you about any of this, they will. You're just gonna have to wait for them to come to you. I know it's gonna be tough. But, the important thing here is that you have both of them and they've fixed what was wrong between them and for you to remember not to push either of them to talk about it."_

_Sarah nodded in silent understanding. After a minute she admitted he was right. "It is gonna be hard not to push them. I guess it's a good thing school will keep me busy and my mind focused on my studies."_

_"A good reason for your mother not to tell you any more than she has. Your studies come first."_

_"Before family?" she asked in shock._

_"Before their problems that you can't fix for them." He gently corrected her._

_"Yeah. I guess you're right."_

_"I know I am. Let this go, Sarah. Enjoy them for what you have together now. Help each other grieve for your father. Tim's not gonna be able to stop thinking of him as his own father overnight; probably not for a very long time; if ever. Sometimes, Sarah, blood isn't what counts when it comes to who you love as your parents."_

_"Adoptions. Right."_

_"Right. For the sake of your family, let this go. Especially, today. It's Christmas Day. Let's get you to Dr. Mallard'ss so you can celebrate it with your family."_

_"What about you, Agent Gibbs? Isn't the team your family?"_

_"Yeah. Yeah, Sarah, they are. C'mon. Let's go."_

_**End Flashback**_

The sudden silence that surrounded him brought Gibbs out of his memories with a bang. Looking around him, he was startled to find that he was alone in the kitchen and all of the dishes of food seemed to have disappeared from the stove and counters. Quickly, he refilled his coffee and took himself to the dining room where he figured everyone had gone. Sure enough, the noise coming from the table where everyone was standing behind one chair or another around the table, was almost deafening and as he quickly looked around Ducky's dining room table, he couldn't help but smile at his family; Tony and Ziva exchanging banter over his incessesant movie trivia; Ducky and Abby lively exchanging information they'd each learned about normally insignificant things over the years, Mrs. McGee and Sarah quietly talking about something; with Tim silently watching everyone in turn, his eyes reflecting his sense of fulfillment; of being where he wanted to be; with the family he shared biological ties with as well as the family was his through the ties forged by trust and integrity, real friendship and honor and reliability; unshakable ties, all of them.

As Gibbs walked to the one chair without someone standing behind it, Ducky broke off his conversation with Abby and greeted him.

"Ah, Jethro! Shall we sit down to dinner?"


	18. Chapter 17

**EPILOGUE**

Two hours later found everyone full, done helping with cleanup and comfortably resting in Ducky's large living room playing one board game or another. Everyone, that is except Tim and Gibbs. Tim had wandered off, in need of some space to think. While it had been the best Christmas Day he'd ever had away from home; the loss of his father and the sudden realization that he was now the head of the McGee family; something he'd never wanted to be; left him feeling overwhelmed and unprepared; out of his league.

Gibbs had seen the change in Tim's mood. He'd watched the young man keep his happy mask in place as long as he could until it began to slip on its' own. When his agent had slipped quietly out of the room, taking advantage of everyone's participation in the board games to do it; the boss had given him a minute and then slipped out after him. It took him a good ten minutes to find him, outside in the biting cold, huddled into his coat while he sat on the front porch swing. Gibbs didn't know what worried him the most, Tim's change in mood or the fact that he had come out here to freeze to do his thinking.

"McG…Tim?"

Tim turned to look at his boss in surprise. "Boss?"

"What's goin' on?"

Tim shook his head in his now signature sign that he didn't know how to explain what he was thinking.

"Your father?" Gibbs offered a gentle revelation that he already figured out where the young man's head was at on this most cherished of American holidays. He walked over to the swing and leaned back against the railing closest to it as he waited for Tim's answer.

"I can't believe he's gone." Tim whispered. "Never thought there'd be a Christmas without him." He turned his head away from Gibbs as he wiped at the tears trickling down his face.

"I know it's hard, Tim. But, believe me, it'll get easier; someday." Gibbs dug deep and applied every ounce of pain filled experince as well as sympathy into that offer of hope.

"Thanks." Tim offered softly as he realized exactly where the boss' reassurance had come from.

"So, what's goin' through that head of yours?"

"I've never been the head of the family. Never wanted to be. I don't know what to do; what not to do." Tim answered brokenly, as the emotions still waged through him.

"Tim. Your sister's grown and your mother's gonna be okay. They both are. If this had happened before Sarah had become an adult, you'd have something to worry about. Now? Most you'll have to worry about is who she's dating." Gibbs tried to rein things in for the young man.

"They're starting over in California, Boss. No friends, no family." Tim reminded him worriedly

"It's not your job to lay down your life to take care of theirs, McGee. I'm guessing that's where your head's taking' you with this?"

"Yeah." Tim replied with a small rueful smile as he once again wiped away his tears and this time managed to keep any more from escaping.

"Your job is to live your life the way your father would have been proud of you for; the way that makes you happy. According to his letter you already accomplished that. Stick with what works and what makes you happy."

"But…"

"He's right, Honey,." Tim's mom said from the now open front door. As she stepped out onto the porch, Gibbs moved out of the way and gave her room to sit down beside her son.

When she sat down, she reached over and pulled her son to her, keeping her arm around his shoulder as she kissed him on the temple. "Stop worrying. You're putting yourself through all of this stress unnecessarily. "Agent Gibbs is right. The only thing you need to do is live your life. Sarah and I will be fine. We'll keep in touch and I promise you, if I need help, I'll let you know. Sarah will do the same. Anytime you need to talk, all you have to do is call."

Tim looked from one of the most treasured people in his life to the other, searching their faces for the truth behind the words. As both of them nodded at him he felt the worry slip away, to be replaced by relief. "Okay."

"Yeah?" Gibbs double checked.

"Yeah, Boss."

"Okay, then can we go back inside now?"

Tim grinned. "Yeah."

As the three of them headed back inside, Tim had one more thing to say. "Thank you. Both of you."

Gibbs nodded at him in silent acceptance of his gratitude and his mother kissed his temple again and gave him a gentle one-armed hug as they reached the door and got in out of the cold.

"There you are!" Abby exclaimed as she ran up to them and wrapped an arm around both of her guys and drew them back into the folds of the team. "It's time to play Twister! C'mon!"

"Abby!" Gibbs growled as he took in the fact that Ducky's living room had been stripped of furniture and not one, but two twister mats had been set up but spaced far enough apart at the ends of the mats that both sets of players would be safe from bumping into the other set.

Grinning, she gave him what she knew he needed, a way to participate without having to do the goofy stuff. "Here, boss man, you can be the spinner! It'll be fun, one spin – two sets of players at the same time!"

Relief flashed across his face so obviously that all of them joined in with Abby's laughter at his reaction. Soon enough, Ducky's living room was full of laughter and the sounds of a family enjoying the love and fun of having each other in their lives. The only spectator, the host of this day of fun and family, couldn't help but smile broadly at the sight before him – relishing every moment of it – wishing this spirit of camaraderie and love was present this obviously more often with this team.

It wasn't long before players began dropping like flies, quite literally. Amazingly enough all three McGee's were among the first to drop. The rest of the players didn't even miss a beat as the game moved along and the laughter and chaos went along with it. Soon, Ziva had dropped out and accepted the spinner from Gibbs, who'd had his quota of craziness for the day.

Gibbs sat back in the easy chair and looked around at his family. While he cherished each and every one of them; it was the sight of the McGee family that tugged at his heart the most at that moment.

As the three of them stood together, arms linked around each other's waists, standing together as one, Gibbs couldn't help but take a moment to let his mind capture that moment for future reference both for himself as well as his agent; thankful that Tim had found his way back from the nightmare he'd experienced so recently.

For the first time, since this whole torrid ordeal came out, Gibbs found himself hopeful for the future and hoped that Tim, would finally be able to move on and cherish the family that was here with him now, despite grieving for the one he'd recently lost.

Tim caught his boss' eye from across the room and offered him a genuine smile of both appreciation and happiness. Gibbs returned the smile warmly and nodded his head in acknowledgement. He couldn't help but think, that things were finally, going to be okay and vowed that no matter what, he would fight to keep this family together at all costs.

After all, wasn't that what family ties were all about?

_~~FINIS~~_


End file.
